How to remind yourself your made of strong stuff

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The world is full of....potential. Sometimes you find yourself stumbling upon People that were told they were brilliant so often, they took it for granted. They became lazy about their ambitions. Their potential folded, and with time so did some of their dreams.
Then there are the hustlers....... You hear about their stories in magazines. People who ate,slept,drank, peed their vision. They knew that success means work. Goals mean action, and if you want to see them happen, put in the work. If it's monotonous make it fun. If it's dull add some flamboyancy. They were begged to call it quits. Give up , pack a suitcase, stop 'punishing' themselves but it was impossible for them to do, they had set their mind to something and wanted to see it come to pass. Rather than throwing in the towel, they got angry, and became persistent, flexible, chameleonesque in front of any gauntlet. They were like water. They bucked their shoulders up, narrowed their eyes, and decided they would become unstoppable. When things become tough or feel impossible, fix your mind on this...many of those people are great leaders now, athletes, inventors, they have inspired nations

The chink in a challenges armour

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Facing a challenge is like a marathon. Yet in any race there are different athletes. Some athletes take the home stretch and power through till they collapse near the end with exhaustion, others pace the track, strategy heavy on their mind. Whatever your strategy or style one things certain, you are determined to get to that finish line, wether you walk, run, or crawl, you can visualise yourself at the end of it all, so why not go for it.

The only thing holding us back is often our fear. Has fear got a hand on your shoulder? It's not there to support you, it's there to disarm you.Tap inside that greater power, look deep within yourself. The next element we need we often have, we just are not looking closely enough.

Research is the key to any calamity. Meditate on New ideas, relax yourself before planning them out. Intimidating yourself with overwhelming pressure, will not be useful to you.

Crippling corruptive circumstances

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Circumstances are not the standard. Things happen so we learn, we fight, we rise above them and show ourselves exactly what we can do. So the next time circumstance happens, we can say to ourselves I've been here before, I know myself, i trust myself.I have faith.

Use your circumstances to empower your mind. Decide that you aim to get the better of circumstance, rather than your circumstance get the better of you. Whatever your going through, it is a time and a place. This is where you will begin to see if you are a testament of your own faith.

Affirm, think, take positive action. It is so easy to suffocate in the mess of the situation, sink into self pity, and ask a million question's why. You've asked the why, lets focus on the what next.

Plan your steps wisely. Look for opportunities despite your blurred vision. Take action.

Finishing failure in its tracks

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Failure is a state of mind. It's the quitter that says things are not exactly what I think they should be. I'm giving up. I've given up on many things in my life, only to tiptoe around them, circle them like a buzzard and say I'll do this. Little by little. That's not the end of me.

Whatever your struggle, strife, drama, we all have different nick names for when something isn't working out. If you are fighting for where you want to be, this is your path, your own personal route. Dont run. This isn't the end of you. Quitters will always quit, winners will always win, you just need to decide which team your batting for.

Dating Disasters: How to deal with cruel rejection

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Dealing with rejection/being snubbed/ridiculed by someone who you thought liked you can be a nightmare. You go back and forth through all the woven strands, their body language said this, it looked like they wanted to be near you, your head seemed to screech with the idea that maybe this guy could be the guy.....go for it....go for it.....splat.

first move in your own personal game of chess, let it go: Some things aren't meant for you. It may not seem so now, but the universe is trying to teach you a lesson rather than pro-longing the pain. You've been saved hours, weeks, months, possibly years. There are people now trapped in the wrong kind of relationship, because nobody had the heart to say no to them. That 'no' has saved you, from being led on, wasting time that could be well spent on your progress, on something as basic as pining or analysing.

There are loads of celebrities today, absolute stunners, who were actually turned down. The way someone rejects you also says a lot about their character. It speaks in volumes all the things they kept covered. For example someone who seemed shy, or quiet, might actually be a total jerk. Someone who seemed nice and kind, could even be quite villainous. If you take a risk on someone and they decide that now they are in a position of power, they will blast your nervous vulnerability all over the place with megaphone arrogance, then you know this is the real person.

You haven't missed out on much.Rejection, ridicule,snobbery, in time you will get over it, also you will find a partner who has better character. Sometimes we debate with ourselves, dragging out the agony. Let it go, it's done, and you have been saved a most costly plight. This does not me those same troubled feelings wont pop up, the hurt, anger, annoyance, feelings of rejection, ride them out. They will disappear with time.

Sometimes the most valuable things we learn is the lesson, and that is priceless. Take the lesson and use it.

labelling the liar:How to deal with someone's lies

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Liars know the secrets buried within their own hearts. No matter what they speak, deep down they know that they are being dishonest and there is an anger that comes with that. Anger that they weren't brave enough to tell the truth and face the consequences, especially if beneath it all lurks a good spirit. This would put them in a state of internal conflict. How do we define good? People who go to church ? Eat all their vegetables? Pay their mum's rent and bills? A good person will not suffer anyone their own personal consequences. They won't creep out whilst some other person deals with the consequences, or creep in secret hoping they won't have to bump into the person they've disappointed.

Outside of priests and the pope everybody tells lies. Maybe it's little white lies, or straight up denials. If your in the presence of someone who is a compulsive liar, it's time to move unto steadier ground. Someone you can trust is not decietful, and doesn't lie at the cost of someone else's reputation or theirs.

Liar is a label. Sometimes people are scared, and they lie. Insecure..and they lie, Some lie to protect the ones they love, others lie because it just comes easily. Be honest, if you know someone close to you is lying, or being dishonest, let them know you are aware of their dishonesty, and you will not condemn them for having the courage to speak up and tell the truth.

Simply put, the truth will set them free. If they continue with their lies you have to decide how much of their stories or fables your willing to put up with. Tell them where you stand on lies, set those boundaries, and make them clear. Explain that you are understanding, believe in compromise, but will not be lied to as if you were a fool. You are no fool.

Using your enemy as your engine:How to deal with negative people

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Make your enemy your footstool
Use them as a force of motivation. If they try and hinder you, use them to help you. That anger you feel, the betrayal you feel, channel it. You don't want to be stuck in the same place, same location ten years laters saying 'this isn't fair.' whatever they did to you, it may not be fair.. What are you going to do about it?

It's not about them anymore it's about you. Have you spent a life time saying your a fighter, a strong spirit, someone unstoppable. Talk is cheap, proove it, to you and no one else. Fix your focus. Train it on something that can give you faith. Counter the anger you feel, with positive words and enough faith to move a mountain. Change your impression of your enemy, see them as your zeus juice, someone whose negativity you can use to motivate yourself. They are not your kryptonite anymore, they are your lucozade, powerade, any aid you can think of. Life uses people to teach us lessons about life and us as individuals. It doesn't always use characters we like. If it did, we would never learn anything.

When a challenge is too easy, it often goes unappreciated. Appreciate what your learning, they are lessons that will change your life.

Agenda: Why a bully thinks your the hottest target

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When in the presence of a bully or someone trying desperately to desecrate all over you, keep that neck tall and that head held high. You are saying, you cannot break me, you cannot harm me, I'm stronger than you and we both know it.

 I used to come across someone who specialised in belittling me. If there was a degree in it, she'd probably try and upgrade to a masters.The only way she could be funny, entertaining, interesting was by making me the butt of her joke. It made her feel confident. As those around her, egged her on, promoted her foolish behaviour to a platform, she started to feel as though she had something to offer. Yet in true jealous,bully form, her insecurities would still creep into her head, whispering sweet nothings in her ear.Her jealousy was painfully transparent, especially when men were involved.

Simply put the source of most bullying is insecurity. I'm not saying that the targets of bullies are often saintly,innocent victims, because i'm not. I'm quite feisty and quite tough. Bullying can happen to anyone. Wether your having a weak moment, or your seen as a threat in some way. Bullying happens.

What you need to keep in perspective is the real agenda behind it. Most people slump into the victim state of mind believing that the problem is them. What's wrong with me? I'm so flawed, so damaged. People dont like me...That's what the bully wants you to think, unless you genuinely are a nightmare. Most of the time you have to assert your strength by paying attention to what the agenda is. Is it jealousy? You've suddenly gotten the interest off someone they like and they cant stand it, you get too much attention and are paid too many compliments, or maybe your smart, charismatic, sociable, whatever the reason, look for the agenda behind it.

Cheating the cowards out of your joy:How to deal with bullies

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Cowards always lurk in the shadows. Their there for the explosions, fireworks, they want a pat on the back for the feistiest comment. Yet we've all seen cowards in the street and been disgusted by how little they had to say without a standing ovation. They are cowards for a reason. Weak you cannot expect much from them as individuals, the consistency is to disappoint.

You  have to ask yourself another question? What growth is there to come from someone with no real identity, weak and rides on the destruction of others. If you have running shoes tie them tight, you have become an athlete...sprint for your life. Negative energies Feed off  a strong feed. Focus your mind on positive things. Your strengths, your goals and your ambitions.

Build a mental log of all the things that make you happy, call on them when you feel vulnerable. For example if you love to go to the cinema, go to the cinema. Shopping, shop, swimming, swim,

Speak positive powerful things into the universe and use consistent action to secure them. Visualise your joy, visualise your success. Think as though the world is your oyster.

How to stop attracting ugly people

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How do you define ugly? When I was younger I identified ugly as a shallow thing. Looks that didn't match magazines. Facial features that were probably regularly insulted or impolitely interrupted. Now I'm a little bit older, I see ugly as character traits. Jealous or bitter women, guys who are cruel and too gutless to speak up despite behaviour being wrong, saboteurs, there's an endless list of ugly. Yet there is Beauty in the world,sometimes we don't look close enough.


Sometimes were so overwhelmed by how someone looks rather than who they are we dont take the time to see what is right in front of us. Do you find yourself constantly dating the wrong guy?Someone who is emotionally abusive, hurtful, a cheater, a user, unavailable. I bet some of you started dating him because on the surface...he was beautiful. Matte surface, neatly turned out, nice hair, nice eyes, nice mouth, great body, charming...then as the relationship developed you saw someone that was cruel, mean spirited, ugly. Only time revealed to you exactly who they were, and your lack of confidence made you an easier target.

Stop attracting these unappealing characters.

First remind yourself : You are beautiful, worthy of love, and have much to offer a special person; When i felt ugly not only did I attract some serious losers, but it was almost as though i had a flashing sign on my head saying. "Will settle for anything. Give me the scraps of affection you have." We all know the famous saying "People will treat you how you allow yourself to be treated."

Say it and mean it. If you are creating boundaries, stick to them and make them real. Dont continue to play emotional left field with yourself, this person who is making you feel small will attempt to make you feel smaller....and attract more loosers.

Smile....
Say positive affirmations about yourself evey morning. I am beautiful, i am kind, i am loving, i am attracting more love, i am a magnet for love, beauty and harmony. I am balanced.

Take pride in your appearance. Wether it's a gloss, a touch of makeup or something cool from your wardrobe, enjoy and engage. Celebrate your own unique infinity. You can be anything you put your mind to, focus on all the great things about yourself. You are evolving, the mistakes you've made, some may be in the past, others haunt you in the present, set your mind like steel. You will not let them overwhelm you.

What are signs someone is threatened or jealous of you?

                                                                      
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When someone is jealous of you, the people around them can sense it, but depending on hierarchy and status in the group, family, or whatever the setting, that person may continue to be egged on.

They ridicule you. You are always a topic on that persons lips. They may catch glimpses of you. Only one second, two minutes, you coluld even live right next door to them. They need to make themselves look strong, by ridiculing you. Because it could be something as simple as someone close to them paying attention to you, noticing you, even looking at you. The loud laughing or cackling. Often times whats probably been said about you isn't even funny, or vaguely amusing. Yet they laugh at the top of their voice because they need you to know, "i am ridiculing you."
"Look at me, im better than you." Deep down they dont actually feel better than you. It is a strategy used by them to ensure that those around them look upon you as small. They need to make you feel small, so they can look big. Deep down they often know the truth. Yet if you find yourself the object of consistent bullying, nasty comments, bitchy and spiteful behaviour, most of the time the validation their getting is not enough.

The objective is to break your spirit. That is the goal. If you look weak, if you look small, they can write you off as good as gone. So they persist, hammering away, forcing discusssions about you when there is nothing to be said. Wether you are the prettiest girl, or you dont find yourself to be the most attractive. Wether your the smartest girl, or you find yourself not especially the whizz brain. Something about you makes that person feel inadequate. You may be socially liked and very easy going, which is often an attractive trait, people take for granted how far such a nature can carry them.
If you know their behaviour reeks of envy, discontent, a jealousy and a need for control that is burning at them like acid. Keep that smile on your face and keep your head up.

Your head up is one of the most powerful counters you have. Body language works wonders. It says in bold print, you can't break me, you cant hurt me, i'm stronger than you, keep wasting your time and the little energy you have. Everytime you walk past that individual allow the stubborness in you to take root. Keep that head up. Keep that back straight and smile internally.

If they are spreading toxins to people around you, they are doing you a favour. Those are people you dont have to waste your breath on. If you are in a work scenario, and there's poisonous people like this about, keep your communication to them at minimum. If you have to team up with them, be as polite as possible, because your focus is the result. Your not their best friend, their not yours, but you have an objective to meet, ensure you meet it to the best of your ability. Be smart enough to know that someone who is envious of you may often be dumb enough to cut their nose off to spite their face. That means as your working for the good of the team, their so hell bent on sabotaging you, they may not work their hardest to keep you in a good light. If there is another party you can consistently report your progress to then do so.

Tell yourself everyday, i am happy, i am blessed, i feel loved, i am cherished. Celebrate the little things about who you are, and congratulate yourself for your minor achievements. In life what i've learnt, is people who are envious of you, judas's of your time, as much as they despise you still love to talk about you, will find ways to actually be near you, or even despite what they do as desperate for your attention. There's nothing more frustrating than those who rather than paying you a simple compliment so you can pay it back, thrive on their attempts to drown you.

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Do not allow yourself to drown in the chaos of someone else's emotional mire. This means someone else feels small, feels unattractive, unintelligent, as though everything they have is not enough, you become pulled into the riptide of their mess, and are swimming desperately for your life.

Wether it's an emotional connection, or an energy connection, if you dont have to talk to them, be their family member, their friend, distance yourself from them and any negative dialogue they intend to open up. You deserve to be happy, someone else's 'stuff' doesn't have the right to get in your way.

Some people argue that you should befriend those who are jealous of you, let them confide in you, show pity and empathy for them. If you can, i'd say that's great. Your self esteem is more valuable than any forced friendship. A friendship with someone who is overly jealous is like a time bomb, waiting to go off. How long will you have to keep your successes to yourself, how long will you have to keep every good thing that happens to you a secret? Stay positive and keep your head up, and your spirit up.

The emancipation of your imagination: Inspiration and where to find it

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Your walking along a muddy pasture. It's expected anyway, but right there you see a huge pile of dung (shit). When you walk to the left of it, it kind of looks like a human hand, your Friend 'Ben' would probably get a real kick out of this. Although he has a carrot shaped like some bunny ears, and a mango with an indent that looks like MikeTyson .... Inspiration

Inspiration. It can be found somewhere and everywhere. If you don't pay attention, you wont discover it. Maybe it's walks you take, swimming, watching a movie, flicking through pages of an immaculate, uncreased, 1960's issue of vogue. If you don't look, you wont find. Seek, and search deep. Some people find inspiration when they spill too much jam on an overly cooked pancake, they invent a new recipe, maybe pancakes and chilli, with a hint of black eyed beans. A creative way to teach an annoying mother in law, not to intrude on an early sexual encounter with hubby. Whatever it is, Unlike the stories we've been sold many a time about geniuses like Picasso, monet and many others kissed with the gift of inspiration. Inspiration takes imagination, and imagination, takes work. A sense of freedom, and not torturing yourself with perfectionism. Anthony Robbins once said someone who worked for him had made the most genius statement. "We write for the waste paper basket," if your a writer anyway. Freedom to think, explore, design, adjust, should always be apparent in the initial stages.  Enjoy your work, but more importantly, enjoy why your working. Whenever you feel it is turning into a chore, amp up the music, switch on a seminar that motivates and inspires you, go renegade on yourself. There is enough energy, enough flow, to help you on your journey. Take yourself to a peaceful place of flow. It is your treat.

How to deal with Life's distractions

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There will always be something to distract or throw you off a challenge you set for yourself. It was a seed you planted, an idea you had; but a friend calls, the tv beckons, a family member wants to have a ten hour long discussion about something which is barely pressing. You have work to do. It may make you unpopular for a little bit, it may bring out the moaners and the gossipers, it may make those around you become very suspicious. Yet because they are also a top priority, you explain very cooly and calmly, with much assertion. "I am making a choice, which could change my life, i love you, i want to spend time with you, but this is also a priority."

The future is all about the choices we make in the now. Choices that wont always make you the most liked, loved, appreciated, but choices which are pressing. Great futures don't simply happen with talk. Great futures don't just happen because some how, you managed to lazily weave what you needed to do, between the inner crevices of what we have to do. Our daily functions, which can be quite systematic. If you are planning to write and you say i'll produce an hour of work every day, do that. If it's exercise, an hour every day, make it happen. Singing, dancing, a computer program, do it. Your word needs to mean something to you. You need to trust your own word. I've been there there's nothing more frustrating than asking the tedious question, i said i would do this today, but will i? Do i trust myself enough to have the faith to take my work to the next level? Do i belief i've built up enough emotional strength to think i have the mental capacity to take on my own self doubt?

Consistency is the key. Reminding yourself that you simply have to start and you'll build up momentum from there. Get yourself into state, from there you will ease yourself into flow.

Merry Xmas everyone from Red ebony

Hi , just popping in to say a merry xmas and giant thankyou to all the followers, poppers in, and soon to be arriving members of the blog. Have a fab x mas and a phenomenal new year!!!!  Rock on....

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Steve Jobs sells us how to be a success

Tuuuuuuuuuuuune: Limp Bizkit ;Rollin

awesome song: Nirvana:Smells like Teen spirit

I've probably put this on here before, it's still a kick ass song.

Tuuuuune Nada surf : Where is my mind?

Luv this track: Shania Twain, looks like we made it

The magic of mistakes: Why a bad mistake can be a good idea

You did something stupid. Boo hoo...if you'll pause to stop kicking your head in and exacebating your brain cells. The greatest people in history have made some of the stupidest mistakes. Perfection is not what were going for. Humanity is. As a human being you will make questionable choices, so long as they are not murder, terrorism, or some other behaviour that encourages de-progression in society, then your golden. Mistakes happen. Sometimes we surround ourselves with great pretenders, people who are so poised with their own disillusionment, they pride themselves on the lie that they have never made a single mistake.

The richest people in our society, the happiest, the most content people, had to make stupid mistakes.This was so they could learn from them, and became the masterpieces we see before us. Their mistakes made them interesting, their progress showed us they were evolving. Their success verified what their stubborness taught them, that if you push past the mistakes, the wrong turns, the bad ideas, somewhere along the way you'll  find a good idea. A break, an opportunity, to change your fate. You did something stupid....boo hoo....it happens.

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Lifting the lid off limitations

People are always talking about limits, and boy are they happy to tell you when you've reached yours.
How much is your Apr, can you pay your limitations off installmentally or is it a one year plan? You are not a credit card. You are a person, and a limitation is not a great word for the ambituos vocabulary. Focus on your potential and the possibilities around you. The law of attraction states that we get more of what we focus on. Is that what you want, more obsessing about what you cant do? Write a top 10 list of why what you aim for is possible, then make it twenty, then make it thirty. I imagine that you wouldn't have attempted this challenge of yours if you vaguely thought it was impossible. The world is full of impossible things. It's not just great people that have become millionaires, that have become happy, creative people. Passionate people, productive people. You wouldn't give up that easily on someone you love, do not give up on your imagination, it is a thing of beauty. Tap into it and push through the mess to take you to the peak of your happiness, or simply to engage in it. There is magic, mystery, joy and freedom there, simply if you believe.
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Prooving your paradise:The power of the spoken word

Set the tone for your life.Speak words of faith into your future. This is your fight for change, your fight for progress, people may come at you with negative information. Yet we all know the saying where there's a will, there's a way. Determined people always find a route, a path, and have a plan to reach their destination. You can talk them down, but it's hard work. They see themselves at the very top and they fight for it no matter where they are in life.

Are you broke? Unemployed, your career's not heading where you want it to to go, people aren't treating you with the respect you know your worthy of. It's not them, it's about you. Start making those plans, start building. Feel that motivation and that hunger coursing through your vains, feel it getting your blood boiling. Use your negative experiences to talk yourself into success, and not let anybody talk you out of it. People will sing about others who have failed before you, or tell you these positive progressive ambitions of yours are not worth a penny. They may not amount to anything. You could be wasting your time. You want a life with lessons your proud of. You want your dreams, your passions, to not simply be talk, you want to see them come to pass. Success is about taking what sits in your mind, and making it real. You awaken your passion, you jump and you stir yourself to life.

If your ignorant you will assume faith is a christian thing, 'those religious freaks are babbling again.' Faith is not. It's about belief, belief in yourself and what you can do, allowing yourself to get carried away on a tide of momentum. If you know you can do so much more, prove it!

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Learning your lesson the hardway:Crushes from hell

People don't acknowledge the importance of learning a lesson, and most of the time it gets them into more trouble than they need to. Growing up I read a lot of romance books, I was romantic at heart. I especially liked stories where the protagonist would share love letters and romance would develop from there. In high school I wrote my first love letter, it was of course to a sixth former who had no attraction to me. I'd show up at his doorstep love letter in hand, drop it there early morning and wait for a response. Despite being a loud mouth, when it came to the opposite sex I could often be quite shy.

Anyway every week I'd scribble these poetic letters. The guys I made the mistake of writing those letters to we're 2 shy guys, who appeared to be very insecure on the surface. Still in the poetic la la land of the romance books I read, I completely ignored the lack of response, until one day I was walking past a class room window and I heard the guy I was writing the letters to talking. He was talking about the letters and me, he said so many horrible things I had to blink twice. His comments were cruel and because of the letters someone who had been identified by other sixth form females as dull and boring, or as dull as wood. Suddenly had an audience. That year became hell as most of the sixth formers with nothing better to do began to look for ' this girl that was such a hot topic' you'd think I'd learned my lesson.

Years later another supposedly 'shy' insecure guy had acquired a disgusting ego because I had taken the time to scribble a show of respect to someone who didn't actually deserve it. His comments were even crueler than the first guy. I learned a valuable lesson from this. You cannot predict who someone is. When were more vulnerable than usual we pick up signs that we want to see, and draw closer to the wrong type of person. No matter how much you feel you were egged on, what you thought you saw. Maybe staring, gawking, appearing where you are at the convenient time. Attraction doesnt have to be calculus. Yes some of us mighty women, and of course mighty men, like a challenge, or enjoy sharing or expressing our emotions with someone we thought reciprocated. Yet, who are you leaving yourself bare to? If you have seen proof that someone is a weak character, gutless, spineless even, easily controlled and led, i promise you it's not like it is in the movies. They are not going to change exactly who they are for you. Leave their potential to themselves. You are not in the business of humiliation, so why should you employ yourself there.

 Move on as quickly and as stealthily as possible. You deserve more, you are worth more.I had to stop projecting my romanticised ideals on the wrong characters and deluding myself that they we're characters they weren't. You can't define someone by a guess, or in my case a hoped for guess. It takes time to get to know people and understand who they were, that time is well worth it.....for the right kind of person.

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Predictions of power: How to spot a powerful person

In this society we find ourselves overwhelmed with people who need to pronounce they have power. Some use positive ways to reflect their strengths. They believe in community and understand growth isnt about isolation, but effective communication. They become pompus with their little achievements, and their flashy things. Looking down on everybody else and announcing themselves as superior. Others use cruelty to promote themselves as leaders. If they can dominate and be a pack leader without using calm assertion, but snobbery and vindictiveness before themselves, they are god.
What is real power?

Real power is the ability to assess a situation, without judgement, without manipulation, with a clear head and a strategy to fix or resolve any problems. A powerful man/woman is not always rolling in money; but they will be, because their knowledge permits them to govern any room. Knowledge they have taken time to invest in, research they have done. Behaviour they have cultivated to show the world i am not making changes simply for myself, i am thinking of us. Focussed on progress, working with no selfish ambition, but the believe that someday, i can make a change for every one. They are the communicators, the listeners, those who take the extra time to listen before they judge you.

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How to spot a toxic friend: Choosing friends wisely

It's important to hand pick your friends very carefully. If you associate yourself with bitchy people , gossips, envious people who specialise in putting others down, you will forever find yourself tiptoeing on thread, and flicking cautious glances behind your back.

You know what everybody else knows, if they can do it to other people they can do it to you. They are not trustworthy, and trust is the foundation of any relationship. People who build their confidence from putting others down are truly toxic.

When confronted their liars who specialise in giving others half truths. Their often quite charismatic, funny, charming...but their charm is fiction. The reality of their insecurities or inferiority complex is too much for the world to handle. They'd rather be a mime. Self esteem doesnt come from crushing the skulls of those who you feel may be easier targets. Self esteem comes from achieving and accomplishing goals you set out for yourself, and being a version of yourself you respect. Esteem is defined as seeing yourself as equal to or on par with those around you. Esteem comes from taking pride in yourself. In who you are and what you can become. Your too focussed on your own potential to have to throw spears at everybody else. You are busy . You have 'thangs' to do. Life wont wait on you because your insecure. Picking your friends wisely is very important in life. Positive people will help you grow, a negative hyena will scavenge your bones appart.

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How to find the love of your life

When choosing a partner or someone to cancel out the loneliness, sometimes we pick the wrong person. A good looking guy/woman with a poor character, someone who has a history of letting others down, or a person who is known to have in consistency when it comes to commitment. In the short term they may satisfy our physical needs, but what about our emotional needs?

What would you choose? Beauty fades.  Attraction may disintegrate over time, passion can become a precious memory. What qualities will you pick in a partner?Loyalty?strength and honesty?....Of course love. Choosing a partner can be hard work. Look beneath the surface. Pay attention to more than a pretty face, and keep looking. Boy oh boy have i learnt the hard way. You dont know someone in a minute. You dont gain and aquire their trust in weeks, months even. The story begins to unfold over time, you see the gaps, the holes even, and decide wether you'll stick it out for this one. Magnifying glass love is not what i'm talking about. People are like sandwiches it's up to us to see wether we'll wait around long enough to see what's in between.
image by murrme

Sexy Geeks: From Geek Chic to magnifique ( Countdown to the sexiest tv Geeks)

1) Was it just me going slightly insane that super Geek hottie Alison Mac was not ending up with Superman? Chloe Sullivan was an amazing character in Smallville and i was constantly at the edge of my seat, throwing things at the TV when Superman Clark Kent, seemed to go for everyone but her. The fool was blind!

http://the-beautiful-ones.com/allison-mack/25025/

2) Oh my goodie goodie gosh. Claudia Donovan In Warehouse thirteen is not only brilliant, but she's constantly promoting the message that women are allowed to be incredibly smart, good looking, and free spirits. She Rocks!!

 

 

 

 

 

Allison Scagliotti rules!!


3) The O.C started off good and then sort of......you get the drift. one of my favourite characters was Anna played by Samaire Armstrong

Doggy Ditchers: The worst excuses for giving up a dog

I never thought i would be writing this. I never thought i would grow to love my dog, as feisty as she can be. I have a bodacious beagle, who doesn't just bark but sing like she's on x factor. She was hell for a while, people warn you too late that beagles would be. Then something happened. We discovered a routine, patience, toys , gadgets, and a good friend who keeps our dog happy and helps us ensure there is balanced. Anyway the dogs trust released a list of some of the silliest reason's people get rid of their dogs. I found this on yahoo.


It's not as cute as it used to be

It's too big for the house

It barks too much

It snores too loudly
It can't do tricks

It keeps passing wind

It smells of dog

The dog doesn't match the sofa

It scares the goldfish

It keeps barking at butterflies

It doesn't look like he did on the website

The dog was too old and no longer brought me any joy

It hurts my back to pick up my dog’s poop

I need a smaller dog

He wouldn’t fit in my handbag or wear the outfit I bought him

It can’t walk on the lino in my house

The dog gets too much attention

The dog doesn’t like me (after 24 hours)

My dog is teaching me patience. I imagine there will be times where it will be challenging. When i first got my beagle i wasn't experiencing the Lassie, or TV advert connections they bribe you with through media. The dog will not instantly become your companion, the bond will not happen immediately, it takes time, training,support. Wether it's dog training classes or just walking your dog with a steady routine. Walking, swimming, exercising together,bonding. We need to gain our dogs trust, they are out of their comfort zones. Human beings can be quite selfish, we decide that were lonely, or this dog would look so cute on our arm, we dont think of the work that would come with it. A dog isn't just for christmas. Some dogs are easier to handle than others, but with everything in life, they take time, care, and patience.

Mike Tyson has had a sex change?! News spreads huh

The power of the media. A newsbiscuit website started a spoof that Mike Tyson....THE MIKE TYSON...HEAVYWEIGHT BOXING CHAMPION had undergone a sixteen hour surgery to have a sex change into a woman called Michelle. In true gossip, chinese whispers format, this info was picked up and published as FACT by Zimbabwe's standard on Sunday. Zambian watchdog carried the story on Monday. News biscuit say they've had as many visitors in the last few days as they have in a whole month.John O Farrell from News Biscuit told the BBC the story of Iron Mike has been viewed over 50,000 times...Nice. Michelle tyson ....er Mike Tyson defends; he's not a chick....he's still a dick

Adam Lanza goes ape shit and blows the world away

America please stop making guns so easily accessible to your public. Another kid has popped the cork in the U.S. of A. 20 year old Adam Lanza decides he wont just gun down his mother (a school teacher),  in a good ol Connecticut elementary school; he'll slaughter 20 children and six adults. The therapists and specialists on news media produce the same story's they hide behind; he was a loner, spent a lot of time by himself, his parents divorced maybe he just snapped because of that. I have to argue that the world is full of loners who aren't going round killing everyone, children who come out of broken homes extremely successful and incredibly happy. That's a poor excuse. If he just snapped did anybody reach out to him, offer him assistance, help in anyway. The aging process can be quite brutal, and some of us who are not aware were on the wrtong path, or those suffering with mental health problems, can become too scared to reach out and get assistance. The sad thing is this guy's performance will create a stigma for other people who suffer from mental health problems and ensure it's harder almost impossible for them to function in society as quote on quote normal people. People who vaguely keep to themselves will become questionable, and paranoia will reel it's ugly head. Young men need to know having a gun doesn't automatically mean you have the biggest cock in the world. In fact it almost disempowers because it's cheating. Guns outside of the police department should be used as an instrument of protection. Sadly internationally it's rumoured that purchasing a gun in  America is almost as easy as buying sweets. Although i dont believe all rumours. America please tighten your gun laws for the sake of your children.


R.I.P to the lost loved ones.

Elements of Love

What would you choose? Beauty fades, attraction may disintegrate over time, passion can become a precious memory. I choose loyalty and love. Choosing a partner can be hard work. What qualities would be key for you in a partner and why?
image by dargeg

Freeing yourself from the followers: How to spot weak people

People will surprise you with  how weak they can be, especially in the presence of a bully and someone domineering. Jealous. Competitive. Insecure. The visual you had of them standing up and claiming their strength may end up being nothing more than smoke in the wind. Maybe they joined in the put downs and the ridicule because they finally felt like they were part of something, finally felt as though they fit in.

Yet how many people would they have put down, belittled or ridiculed just so they fit in.  Get yourself some piece of mind. As much as their behaviour is hurting you, it will sabotage them in the long run. They will make themselves appear weak and inadequate simply because they have no real sense of independance. Many of us have the assumption that if someone drives a flashy car, are one of the managers in their work heirarchy, has a lot of money or are seen as extremely attractive, popular and well travelled, they are automatically independant. Independance is more than checking all your social boxes. Can this person make up their own mind? Come to reasonable and fair conclusions about those around them? Are not easily led and scared to voice their opinion? Are honest about their feelings and true to what they stand for and believe in no matter the cost? People like this are consistent and steadfast. You dont find your head doing a 360 degree's pivot and getting brain whip lash.You're not caught in a net of grey, or wondering if this is your real life or a fictional experience.

If you find yourself surrounded by people who are fine with you one minute but as soon as they hear a whisper of negativity can only communicate long distance. Keep communication to them at a base level or no level at all.People like this are pathetic be it a man or a woman,they have no dignity, loyalty,honesty, only fear. In a world where your trying to grow into a positive being all they do is crow a cowards song. Poison leaks from their throat and when you see them alone and separate from the masses all they do is swing their head low in shame, dip their shoulders and expect the world to pity them.  Yet put them in the company of nasty people, they are a megaphone for fear and weakness. It's bad enough their a let down to themselves, don't let them drag you down also. Pick your friends wisely and you will rarely be disappointed
image by lonelypierot

Why thinking like a beagle could make you a billionaire

" It just doesn't make sense,"
"but I've seen it work before," you defend. Then you hear the dreaded line. For some it's haven't you got anything better to do, others have another idea neatly pushed in front of them, along with a job application form. They get told strategic stories about how 'settled' and how 'well' a sibling, or a friend is doing in another line of work. Respect echoes through the room, and they shrink with embarassment at having dared to produce their idea in the first place. They then learn to keep their ideas to themselves, lest their reminded about how badly they failed at something else.

Everything you see today was based upon someone else just like you having an 'idea.' They didn't let words strangle them, or other people make them feel inadequate enough to believe they couldn't accomplish what they made their mind up to do. They knew, how precious is. How easily it can evolve and change the lives of those around them. Toilet roll, shoes, cups,cutlery,beds, all necessary things now, but once upon a time they were simply ideas. Messy little ideas that needed to be re designed, reworked, edited, shaped in order to become what they are now.

When you have an idea do not be naieve enough to believe everybody will instantly fall to their hands and knees. Do not be deluded enough to think it will make you an instant millionaire. Care enough to sniff it out and see where it takes you. Be like the beagle.

Beagles are the most curious dogs on earth, my beagle to be precise is much more than your average character. If she picks up a scent, she'll sniff it out until she's leading you and not the other way around.  She has a hunger to find out exactly what the scent is.

Sniff out your idea, it is a scent worth chasing. Ideas have made people leave the scrap heap and become millionaires, billionaires even. From zero to deniro, they call it. In every life there's always someone that talks us out of risks, because they were too terrified to take risks themselves. If its not illegal, damaging to someone's life, sadistically cruel, then it's an idea worth sniffing out.

Rest : The millionaires guide to be radiant

Rest. How much does your body need this? How deeply are you lacking it? Some of us attempt to be superheroes in our lives, not taking the pause to appreciate what we have around us. We become machines, and alienate any concept of healing. It's do or die. To rest is to be lazy, slovenly. Sleep is for the underachievers or people on the dole we tell ourselves. There's so much to do and so little time.

The body needs rest, so does the mind, to rejuvenate itself, bounce back, and be electric for the days ahead. Those who have enough sleep are more energised, sharper, they've even been known to worry less. Statistics also show they have less illnesses, and are least likely to suffer from things such as high blood pressure. An epileptic who suffers from grand mal seizures is guaranteed to have more fits because of a lack of sleep, than if they have a healthy sleep regimen.

Sleep also gives the subconscious the opportunity to generate new ideas, or improve upon the one's it already has. Rest doesn't need to be sleep, rest can be going for a relaxing bubble bath, taking a nice stroll, anything that soothes the energy. Meditation is a great way to soothe your coiled nerves, or being comfortable on your sofa with some camomile tea. Maybe hot chocolate is better for some, whatever. The universe needs balance just as the body does. There's a time to be active, and a time to simply take in your surroundings, and enjoy.

image by martasyrko
image by alifan d4nvte

Quiztime for Love: Why your allowed to ask questions

Hypnotic. That feeling you have when you really like someone and they invite you into their world. It's like the high of being on a theme park ride. Exhilarating, scary, nerve wracking, exciting. Sometimes that magical mood overwhelms us, and we don't think with our rational thoughts. We don't ask key questions such as, is this person right for me? Will they value me as a partner? Are they loyal? Have they shown so far that they respect me? Am i looking for fun or am i looking for a future? Am I looking for something in this person that I can't find In myself?



Ask the questions you need to ask, it doesn't demolish the romance. It adds some structure where sanity can sometimes be missing. It also makes us more aware that any form of love, romance, passion, should be reciprocated, and when were paying attention, we can see when it's not. It saves the painful plummet of heartbreak, or the chaos that comes with mistrusting our choices and skills of perception . How much are these person's actions matching their words? Do they actually like me, or am i being led on by my own romanticism. For the record all passion has it's high's then pen ultimately....it's lows. Are these feelings you are brave enough to pursue. So far what are their actions telling you about their character....consistently?
image by Hyeedaa

Building yourself to bonus: How to stay positive when others tear you down

It's easy to start tearing yourself down because others do. We make the mistake of thinking we have to agree with everyone. If someone tries to tear you down, ridicule you, make you look small so they can look and feel important. Remember they have an agenda, and that agenda wont get them very far. Whatever you do, dont get caught up in their mess, don't find yourself drowning in their issues, because you're better than them, and that's why they tried to pull you down in the first place. Laugh as loudly as you possibly can, be as happy as you are, and as loving as possible over and over and over again. Let their misery rot them and not you. Sometimes we even try to reach out to those who have belittled us or made us feel small, because in our hearts, we want to show that we are better people. Focus on your life, and on your journey. Karma is a very busy bee, it catches up to even those that think they are above it. Fight for your happiness, and live your life. You only get one.Don't let someone negative live in your head rent free,keep your head up, embrace the positive things in the universe, give love, recieve love, and choose wisely. You are worthy of respect.
image by squirsh01

love this: Joel osteen completely rocks

Joel Osteen as usual says exactly what we need to hear. What we need to know!!

Defining the distinct:What is love?

What's love? Every month due to my epileptic episodes tied to my period, family members take time to support me. They help me with breathing, cancel their shifts, inform friends that their busy and may not be able to make adventures they planned, because they want to keep an eye on me, and make sure I'm alright.

They share what they have, knowledge, experience,finance, growth. Their education becomes part of my education. People who love you want to see you grow, they want to see you happy, and they tell you what you don't want to hear but need to know.  Love is the ability to take one for the team. To guide, support, listen, care,make a sacrifice. One word encompasses all these things and so much more. Then there's loving yourself, that's work, but worth it in the end you get to face the world and say I accept all my flaws.
Image by scun, love

How to get over people trying to tear you down

People who try and tear you down, do this, because they feel small or inadequate in someway. Sometimes their bored and they crave attention, other times they do this because they need entertainment. I have a puppy. Who many have called spoilt, like a spoilt child, what she does is up the ante, or start acting extremely inappropriately, ripping things to shreds, jumping on us and snatching our food, she'll even go as far as chewing or nipping at your limbs. Sometimes a trainer advises to bop her on the nose, and say naughty, most times, especially when she is excessively barking, were to turn our backs on her hands folded and ignore her. This is also a strategy to deal with nasty people. They are simply bitches with a bark. Their aim is to taunt a reaction from you, drag you into something negative that doesn't belong to you. Misery likes company. When we focus on ourselves rather than a negative object they feel disempowered. When my dog is ignored briefly she begins to question why she's being ignored, she also knows acting badly doesn't get her the attention she craves desperately. She becomes aware that acting badly disempowers her. Find something to focus on, and take pride in it. There are some people who simply cant say, i'm hurt you dont greet me, or i'm hurt you picked A and B over me. Instead they lash out. We all do it from time to time so we know, the baggage that comes with it is heavy and can literally break your back.
image by chryssalis

Life:The teacher with the stick (Embracing painful lessons)

Life dolls out lessons.
Painful lessons that end up in self blame or us blaming other people. Throughout much of my pain especially with dating, or partners, even friendships. The message was, value yourself. Respect yourself, admire yourself. It's a lesson that takes a life time to sink in. It's a lesson that takes much analysis, over analysis, projection, draining. It's an exhausting lesson. It's hard to play the blame game on yourself, especially when someone has acted appaulingly to you. Take responsibility for your choice, and your agenda. It's tough, many times in life we find ourselves knowing what to do and ending up hypocrites. Remember this though, it was a lesson learned. For example that painful experience with a guy that pretended to be Mr wonderful, who hurt your feelings and lowered your self esteem, you've seen what you need to see. He can never approach you pretending to be Mr nice Guy, those rose tinted glasses are gone, that guy who seemed to spend a lifetime trying to get your attention and when he got it acted like an arsehole, will think twice before approaching you again, the guy who appeared to like you then began to loose interest as soon as others started whispering in his ear, will think twice before desperately hunting you down. You would have changed, you will have something he can never grasp, confidence and self respect. He will look but think twice about touching, will gaze but even the concept of speaking to you, will terrify him, because you have changed. Your stronger, more confident in yourself, happier and completely unavailable. The sad thing about guys like this is that some of us are actually stupid enough to try. Women i've spoken to have often cracked this joke, 'they always come back,' because sadly some guys who seem to have crawled out of the dirt, become drawn to you once more. When they see that they've lost you. All your attentions, and your affections, or there's a possibility they could. Do not be swayed by sulking, or words with cinnamon and honey, the fantasy of who they were has changed, the reality of who they are lives on. Embrace the lesson even if it's painful, the universe is trying to tell you something.

image by (proud of being strange)

Face front first: Cultivating confidence

Some people are told their personalities rub people up the wrong way, their not strong enough, not loud enough, not quiet enough, not humble till their eating dirt enough. I ask the question...Am i to be enough for me, or enough for you. Life drags us through the mud and the mire. There are many of us who envisioned our lives a certain way, and grope with distress in the dark. I used to have friends who would whisper like snakes, judging like a jury panel, about people who learnt to stomach their pain, daring to walk with their head held high, pride hanging off them like robes. It made my friends feel jealous, inadequate, judgemental, and sometimes cruel. I quickly took leave. It's easy to tear someone down, ridicule them, for having strength, yet could you be that strong in their shoes?Would you even be able to tie your shoe laces? Would you be able to pick your eyes up from the stains on the floor, would you need puppet strings for your shoulders? It's often very attractive women, or people that appear to be confident, or bold, or brave,or successful that we as a society need desperately to know their place. Yet it's not your life, it's theirs. If there's a lesson to learn the universe will teach them it. Once i was pissed off at someone for so long i didn't realise my malice wasn't making them change what i believe was the wrong behaviour. When i attempted to take charge of my own life, and focussed my energy on me. I realised condemning them, or whining, or complaining about their behaviour wasnt making me right, it was making me mean. Mean people are not happy people, and happiness attracts in abundance. The world doesnt need to be directed according to our rules, our main rules should be to be happy, have self esteem, and cultivate the free flow of positive energy.

image by A-T-I-S

Awesome movie:Ten tiny love stories

Ten tiny love stories...what a superbly written and directed piece. This is a series of monologues about sex, love, loss and the past. Director Rodrigo Garcia produced a masterpiece. With cast such as Lisa Gay Hamilton, Radha Mitchell, Alicia Witt, we dont get a hollywood blah production of life experiences, but the intricacies and the diverse voices that express real emotions. That life and love isn't just format, it makes you think that those polished women you see on the street, or people you wouldn't look twice at all have a story to tell. It's rawness, one ladies desperate attempt to sever her loneliness by giving a blind date Oral sex, it's pain, a woman who talks about her experience of loosing her virginity whilst in the process remembering loosing her mother. They are the words someone confides to a best friend, a peep hole into the secrets of the heart, it's passion, and it's dysfunction. Check it out, awesome movie

Danger in disguise: How to deal with a wolf in sheeps clothing

If he had continued to show this version of himself, slumped shoulders, soft eyes, the please feel sorry for me invisible tag wrapped like a collar around his neck, until....the dynamics changed. I showed him a vulnerability, this vulnerability made him feel so empowered he began to feel superior. I'm not talking your average i'm Mr Nice guy because i have no confidence, peel the layers back...oh look i'm scum. We all have those moments when a wolf shreds it's mutton, and flashes the fangs within. The wolves in sheep clothing. That's right, if you've come across them, your hurt, you feel sick, betrayed, and some of you may even feel victimised. I have something that will cheer you up. You can recover from this. You will be sore for a while. Maybe it's your boss deciding to terrorise you, a guy you liked who didn't like you back but decided the best way to express this was cruelly through nasty comments, or mob humiliation, a friend who alienates you when other top dogs in the 'hierarchy' are around. Guess how you can get your power back? Deciding your worth ten of them and making a point to cut, no sever this person's toxic behaviour not just from your life, but from your energy. The ego tricks especially weak characters like this. They may have been made to feel small, inadequate throughout their life, instead of dealing with these issues, which guess what....everybody has..They decide to feel strong by making you feel weak. The ego is a funny thing. That high or that hit they have of false empowerment doesn't last long. When the haze clears, and there's no audience patting them on the back, they remember the truth. They remember the moments of kindness. Some will start calling you, others will start happening to bump into you, or they want you to know their still around. Grudges only punish us. Forgive in your heart, but step carefully. I usually cut out people like this. Their poison comes from their consistent feelings of inadequacy, and if they do it once. They may have the same motivations to do it again

image by ishtrish

Freedom from the funk: Exercise as a great healer

Exercise is not just great for your body, it is amazing for your soul. In the past when i experienced deep bouts of depression, there was only one answer. Exercise. Movement empowers us. We focus on something outside of ourselves, and our shrinking moments. What experience is keeping you hostage? Wether it's a walk, a jog, a video workout, treat your body, and your mind to the freedom it deserves. Stop torturing yourself, by replaying your mistakes or failures over and over again. Everybody has suffered the downfall of failure, climb back to the top , by taking action.  Meditation is great, so is yoga, active exercise releases those endorphins our bodies crave.

image by blackharlet

Dating as a minefield: Are you about to emotionally combust

Dating can feel like a minefield. Honestly there are thousands, no millions of does he like me, does she like me? Are these signs they find me attractive questions that bombard the internet daily. I have discovered with much trial and error, if someone is attracted to you, they could be the shyest man on Earth...they want you to know somehow. Those lingering stares are great, people who fancy you always want to be near you, even if there's just a hint of a possibility they might bump into you....They want to see that hair do, new outfit, say hi, or have a brief encounter that could be slightly prolonged. Some go as far as buying you gifts, or popping up everywhere you are, asking questions about you, inviting you to places, or the more confident of the bunch simply ask you for your telephone number, and guarantee you'll have the time of your life.

I've learned with much agony not every man or woman that gives you attention are the right partner for you. Beneath a hollywood smile could lurk hell on Earth, so choose carefully. The worst mistake is being so desperate not to be alone you fling yourself at the first guy/chick you see. Know which qualities you want, set your boundaries and decide what doesn't appeal to you. People forget the reasons they want to date, is because they want to be happy. Enjoy life, share themselves with someone. Dating and a relationship should not feel like a chore. We should at least experience some of the ideals we yearn for. It's a journey and an adventure. As much as you learn about your partner you begin to learn more about yourself. If you are seeing someone and it feels like a minefield watch out, you didn't start dating to emotionally combust.

image by Faylin
image by gilad