The Flyby friend: How to know your worth

friends by x black stars


Have you ever described your friend as a user? That's right, that friend that you crowned BFF, gave special treatment to, only seems to contact you when they want or need something. Maybe its money, assistance, to vent, either way when you get comfortable now and decide to hit them up on the regular, that amazing friend of yours seems out of reach, emotionally unavailable. When you meet them and you haven't spoken to them in months, they launch into a full on monologue about how busy they have been, how they haven't kept in contact with anybody, yet from others you hear about trips theyve been planning, holidays, outings. Quickly take that person off their pedestal, this is what you call a flyby friend. Flyby friends are often very charismatic, likeable, very popular, so much so that they take the people around the
For granted. Sometimes it's personal, other times it's not, you need to socialise make new friends, take new risks, make sure you show, don't tell. Show that person they are not the centre of your universe. Just like you can be ignored or replaced, so can they. If it means having a label next to that persons caller I.d when they call so you can remember, or giving that person a wide berth for a while and responding in text do it. Maybe your so hurt by that person you want to take gaps from a social circle that includes them and find yourself, or even better you want to talk to them and express how you feel, that's fine. It's not about holding a grudge being bitter or resentful, it's about you validating your self to you. Reminding yourself that your worth more than feeling used and then cast aside. If it doesn't matter to you and you don't take it personally that's fine, but if it does and you find yourself irritated, or hurt, frustrated even, you are worthy of better.

Picking the right people to help build up your dreams

If you let insecure people build you up, there will be moments when you feel as though your touching the clouds, and when reality hits, you'll realise you haven't even left the ground and you are barely touching the surface. Insecure toxic people are for example the friend who tells you your amazing in private, yet when any positive news happens to you, she's suddenly not taking your calls anymore, or becomes emotionally unavailable. The jealous friend who decides to tear you down publicly whenever she senses your getting more attention than her.Seriously? No matter how nice these people appear to be from time to time.



If you are around someone you feel you have to walk on tiptoe with, whenever something positive is taking place in your life, protect your goals and ambitions so when you do accomplish them it's too late for that person to do the damage inside out. It takes a lot of faith to accomplish something unusual, unpredictable and spectacular.You don't need the wrong sort of people poking and prodding at your self esteem as your trying to build yourself up. You need that strength of conviction, that belief in yourself. Don't be fooled that it is always rock solid, it can be fragile, and if you don't respect it, and you don't respect yourself enough it can collapse. You can find yourself on the wrong journey on the wrong route.

Jealousy and gut instinct (It's not your imagination)

How many times do we ask that question? Is it my imagination, someone can't be acting this cruelly for no reason can they? And if they hate me so much why are they trying to compete with me? If i'm so much lesser than them..wouldn't they try and compete with someone more....like them? Jealousy is an irrational emotion. Sometimes it can be just as irrational as anger. Are you good looking, intelligent, have wealthy posessions, popular and likeable?Maybe you wouldn't describe yourself as these things, but whatever quality you have,this is the reason some insecure individual is trying to railroad you. Gossip about you, cultivating new and improved vicious lies, sabotaging you anyway possible, or giving you as cold a shoulder as you'd feel if you lived in a fridge freezer. When someone is jealous of you and being vindictive, rather than expressing their admiration, it's shared in a warped abusive way, because their in a negative state of mind. Their not happy with who they are and what they have to offer. Jealous people go as far as copying you,then striving to do things so much better than you, in order to get the praise they feel you've acquired, of which their mind convinces them they deserve. Dont be fooled by their power play. Jealousy is a prison all of it's own. Jealous people are never happy. If you sense that someone is trying to make you look bad, making nasty remarks, that originate with jealousy, distance yourself. Jealous people attack the self esteem if their not offering you growth and support, get it from positive friends, family members and colleagues. What their offering you don't need it, what their selling, you aint buying. Leave them to their insecure devices and focus on doing your own thing. If you care strongly for them, confront them in a non accusatory tone, when aprivate opportunity arises. "I've noticed your acting a bit differently towards me, have i done something to offend you?" Let them share their side of the story, it may not be jealousy you may have actually done something to offend them. Yet the best thing to do is trust your gut instinct, most jealous people wont confess to being jealous because it makes them feel weak.Guess what? There are plenty of more secure confident people in society, it's time to mingle mercilessly.

Joel Osteen says it in one: Toxic People

Joel Osteen is both hillarious and insightful. He's brilliant people watch him and be moved.