Cowards and crunch time

image by Esuu

People often do what they want to do, we make a million excuses to cover their tracks. If their acting badly and were hurt, we try and defend why they choose to act in such an appalling manner. For example when i liked someone once I made the mistake of defending their awful weak behaviour. I said they couldn't defend me because they were scared, and others around them were controlling them. Yet when I listened closely they laughed loudly at my ridicule and egged on the appalling behaviour of those around them. What made things even more pathetic was the same person who was joining others to tear me to shreds, still wanted to be liked, they wanted to be respected. So they'd wait until they saw others that were close to me and beg for validation. They were happy making us the butt off their jokes, or the object of ridicule so long as they were in a power position. Cowardice, cruelty, low self esteem and I realised what had I been thinking?

If someone is weak in a battle they'll be weak in a war. That fear mindset unless they choose to remove it, stays and you find yourself gutted you took a risk on someone who is spineless, and narcissistic, and disappointing. Fools rush in. Heal you, support you, be a platform for you.

Candy crusades: The charm of the abusive individual

Image by deadkitty



Have you ever been so obsessed by how sweet and amazing someone was to you in the beginning, you refused to see anything else? Thats the first step to the emotionally abusive/ physically abusive relationship. The woman/ man so obsessed with the image they saw initially, begins a crusade. A candy crusade. Her abuser becomes airbrushed, and every conversation is an ad campaign to outsiders on how sweet the dysfunctional partner is. I have one question. Is the bruise sweet? Are the excuses sweet? Are the lost friendships and distanced family sweet? No it hurts you... How about the eggshell fear or the lack of trust? Candy crusades won't help our damaged relationships,they are not your jesus Christ.  We have all been through the frustration of having anger issues, low self esteem, if you've lived, you've fallen appart a few times and had to pick yourself back up again. Were all humpty dumpty in our own way.

Someone with anger issues, low self esteem, or past drama doesn't get to use you as their emotional punching bag. Sorry overtime, does not make up for the emotional trauma. Sorry sounds nice. Does it make up for the scars, the feelings of isolation, complete humiliation, misery. Downtimes, depression, all those times when you cry in the dark and the excuses you have to make?

Does it make up for feeling weak? Or being in that constant nervous state of paranoia? Does it make up for feeling on edge? No it doesn't. Emotional abusers are very charm offensive, most of them are excellent at what.....manipulation. If there was a school called manipulation school 101, they'd all have diploma's from it. Ironically enough despite all the things they do, and even some of the things they say they dont want you to leave. They want you to keep you close so they can control you, because what is an emotionally abusive /physically abusive person's greatest fear, it's the fear of being left. Deep seated abandonment issues. When you get away from the chaos and the cobwebs of all their insecurities, when you cut emotional ties and step back you can see clearly exactly whats going on.