Sophisticated Sophelia Goes against the Grain

Gone Against the Grain

I’m such a huge advocate for being fearlessly yourself and embracing our individuality. Why you ask?... Well let me ask you this, why do we need to be like someone else? Why do we all have to be the same? If you’re unable to answer that question, that is exactly it, it’s because we’re not meant to be the Joe next door but the person we were born to be.

I believe life is like one big puzzle and each of us are the pieces that make up the picture. Each of us are created and shaped for a particular place in this puzzle. We are born and destined with a purpose. But how can we fulfil our purpose when we are trying to be like each other and “fit” in because we want to be able to feel like ‘we belong’. For half my life I felt the same way, I wanted to fit in and feel like I belonged to a particular group or arena to the point where I altered my character, personality and even the way I dressed just to be accepted amongst “friends”.

One day I became tired of pretending, tired of being someone I’m not and having to suppress the person I knew I was becoming.  That day was the lightening that struck the tree. I chose to no longer care what people thought of me and worry about their judgements, I just wanted to be… Me. Me-Sophelia. Me –the person that never stops dancing. Me – the energetic, bubbly person with the quirky style. Me – the person who is meant to be the best version of myself and not the best version of Jane, Lauren or Sue.

I came to realise how we are continually force fed the idea that we need to aspire to this so called unrealistic “ideal person”, through media, magazines, adverts and even expectations of others that demands us to feel like being us is not good enough or it’s not ok to be our self. Well, let me tell you something – It’s more than ok to be you. I’m sorry but, ‘why be someone else when you were born amazing?’ Through all this encouragement to self-condemn I realised how important it is to proudly accept who we are and understand that we should be our self, embrace our individuality and how important it is to become your best self so we can find and fulfil our purpose.

Through this long thought provoking and riveting journey the road lead me to where I am right now, starting my brand and blog- ‘Gone Against the Grain’, encouraging people to simply and solely be themselves and PROUD. It is one of the best decisions I have ever made in my life, to help people who want to be themselves and find their purpose.

Being an individual isn’t about being an out-cast or “different” or odd but about creating a league of your own and breaking boundaries. We were all uniquely made and the reason is in our life’s purpose. I believe life is like one big puzzle and each of us are the pieces that make up the picture. Where do you fit in?

I’ve’ gone against the grain, you can too.

Budgeting the Bizarre: How strange are you

image by mothykyu


Far out, weird, wacky, odd, bizarre? From dancing in the street, to discussing your ideas on your tape recorder. What are your strange quirks? Talking to yourself, dreams of wearing black to your white wedding, or having ice cream on prawn crackers...ooooh strange. Whatever the quirk, It is actually allowed. That's right we are allowed to be original, bold, distinct, flamboyant and creative so long as were influencing the universe positively. There is room for the eccentric.  sadly positively different people seem to threaten social norms , people distance themselves from them, alienate or snob them, as if their qualities could rub off on you. Then some of these people become millionaires, then everybody celebrates their uniqueness. Why didn't they celebrate them in the first place?
How much strange can you tolerate?
Your allowed to have your own style
From the Goth, to the style queen, the diva, to the icon. Be wild, unique and free, Express yourself with the positivity that you are and the being of light that you were blessed to be, our own stamp, energy, identity are the legacy's we will leave behind. Let that inner light shine brightly. Why spend so much time trying to budget yourself, over compromise, play hide and seek and sacrifice key elements of who we are just to please those around us, people who secretly are not happy in their own lives.  Celebrate your uniqueness, you are a welcome gift. 

Beauty in it's basic format

www.incosmetics.co.uk -

When I was younger despite being seen as attractive, boyish, a free spirit. I was haunted by insecurities I had created myself. Insecurities about looks, and found all it took was for one person, specifically a guy, I didn't even have to like him....and I'd find myself curled up in front of the mirror sobbing my heart out. I didn't measure, I didn't fit.

As I got older though I learned something. I actually didnt need society's warped photoshop extravagances; neither did I need to be anybody else but me. We are beautiful because we're different. Beautiful because we're unique, have our own intricate features like a secret code we let the world in on. Everybody has their quirks and gods pinch of creativity. If we didn't the fashion and beauty industry wouldn't have made so much money, media wouldn't need photoshopping, and all those immaculate people we see turned out on tv wouldn't need their lighting , video editing software, photoshop and design software wouldn't be so successful. Beauty isn't just skin deep, it's soul deep.

How to deal with feeling left out

Feeling left out? As though your different.....one things for sure your not a Martian right now. Who knows maybe Martians are actually cool. Youre allowed to feel different and experience that platelet shift of not being like those around you. Guess what? Connection is needed.Venture out seek like minded positive and ambituos people. Dressed up,or dressed down, remind yourself that you are something special.Worthy of love and companionship. Meeting new people can be exciting, it's not always plain scary. Seeing what you have in common with them, inviting them for dinners, parties, keeping them up to date, and hearing their good news. That's fun. We all have moments when we feel left out, or the people who knew us, begin to feel like aliens in our carefully padded world.Talk to the people you love and care about explaining that you feel slightly estranged. If it's not being able to find the time to keep up, make time....there's always a fold somewhere. Reach out and meet new people, or get busy and focused on developing who you are. Change is inevitable in life, when the tide moves, we have to move with it. Sharing your emotions is very important, nobody's psychic. They may not know that their conversations with their new friend about all these flashy gadgets you cant afford is making you feel bad about yourself;maybe they've overloaded on time with their current partner, and now their dating that person they seem to know everything about his/her friends, yet sadly they keep missing key things that have taken place in your life. Express how youre feeling. Hard as it is, try not to blame them for your emotional inbalance right now. This feeling of lack comes from within, the fear of being left behind comes from within. If your feeling lost, it means you have to find yourself. In life we deal with these feelings over and over again. We have to master our own mental and emotional strength to beat them.The biggest key is building confidence, and knowing in your heart, that those who love you will always want to see you or spend time in your company, because there's something unique about you. If your feeling left out because of a lack of progress, your time will come. Fight to be happy for when it does. There are people who have achieved goals and are more miserable than if they'd made any plans. image by Stephart09