Mist of change

It's a decision we make within our selves,not to be beaten, to permit access for grand opportunities. When I started my journey as a writer dealing with the disability I had and some of my emotional trials, it always frustrated me not arriving at my destination with the ease others seemed to. Always hungry, weeping inside my head, what am I doing wrong. It had been a perpetual habit of mine to mourn the loss of time, and things that had crept away like shadows. Thoughts that buzzed with so much saturation reporting me back to the chaos of myself. I wanted to be a millionairess, nope I wanted to write, i have a business mind. Nope I wanted to write. Writing is a dream, writing is as far fetched an illusion as me walking out of a mirage and giving you ten million pounds. Then it happened to me, and I couldn't believe it. I signed a contract with my agent and my book Lunchbox Millionaire was being looked at by Penguin? This all began with the redebony blog, I had just lost my job to a case of office politics. In retaliation I chose to start up a blog ranting about this jerk off, who had made the last days of my working life absolutely hell. I was ridiculed, laughed at, patronised the works, but of course my ideas were used because they were great ideas. What would I call this new platform of mine? Red was my favourite colour, I had been criticised a lot for my ebony skin growing up.Yet I took pride in it. Therefore this new chapter of my life I would call redebony, then at some points as you do I got even more jazzed up, and called my blog redebonyhotspot. Last year I wiped a tear off my mother's face as the doctors told her there was nothing they could do about my epileptic seizures, the fear of status epilepticus the last year hung over our heads like a dark cloud, this year I watched my mum's eyes light up as I told her I'd turned my book Lunchbox Millionaire into a company. An enterprise for education. From taking the risk on my work I now have an agent, a new company, and have advised the Financial times, I'm working with the Princes trust,and the Oxford academy. Take that epilepsy! When you have doubt counter it with productivity. You are the change you seek.

Beating poverty: how to make your first million

beautiful garage conversion

luxury estate in Mediterranean

Steering success: Chapbook has over 2 million likes by facebook

"Momentum is one of the key principles of success

Discipline

Focus

Drive

Hunger will carry you to your infinite self.

momentum "

ELEVATION

FORCE OF NATURE

PERSISTENT

What dreams may come

When selves collide

The evening star

The mornings pride

And as the clock

sways stretched out limb

I prepare the day

past dawn the climb

Otatade Iseghohi Okojie

Copyright © All Rights Reserved

STEERING SUCCESS

Real strength takes time to develop. It’s not about the lone figure posing against the darkness, or the person with the biggest mouth chanting about their successes in an attempt to alienate your accomplishments. Real strength is a private thing, a private experience. It’s about building core self belief no matter how traumatic the episode. Its tough watching parts of your identity disappear into quick sand. It’s certainly not easy for the ones that love you.

Furthermore it’s a nightmare for you, standing around waiting for an old reflection. Self esteem, and strength is a ladder you climb, one step at a time. People may not feel the change; they may not get the courage it takes for you to stand there with even a half smile in your pocket. Some may be annoyed and convinced you’re dragging your feet. You know you’re fighting even if the world can’t see. It’s like challenging someone invisible to a dual, and the stakes are incredibly high... The stakes are you. I always found it hard when I’d work and work at building myself up, an old vulnerability would rear its head and the people around me would fixate on that. Convinced I was making no progress at all. Progress doesn’t come over night, vulnerability is not a weakness, it’s a challenge, it’s an opportunity to be a testament. Words can be thick and slow, the action disappearing under a veil of illusion. Here’s the thing though. When it’s hard to be strong for yourself, it’s hard to put the performance on for everybody else in your life. To convince them that you’re still the same person they liked, the same character they joked with, played gin rummy with, went sailing or even played football with. Healing no matter the situation is like a scar. Sometimes it appears long gone. Then you trip in some way or you bump into something, the wound is raw and begins to bleed.

Some people pick at their scars eager to know what lies underneath. Beneath the porse and blood. When your soul is damaged, or you’ve experienced some sort of life jolt, people usually tell you things like love yourself, or snap out of it, even stop being a victim. We all want to be strong. The gloss in the magazine, true life story turned action hero. Here’s the reality, were not always going to get it spot on. Those who are watching, you’re not always going to look at your family member/ friend/ work colleague and ‘say Jesus dude I respect the way your crumbling man. All this crying and stuff, your an icon.’ As hard as it is to do. Celebrate their baby steps; eat up their word to action. It should be ice cream to you, or a snack that gives you that sense of contentment. They’re on their way. The end of the road starts with one step, a journey, a process. It could take a few weeks, a month, and a year. Nobody’s asking you to worship their self pity. Just understand that different people feel pain in different ways. Pain itself is a composition of layers. What someone is hurting with, weeping over can seem absolutely miniscule to you, but it could be the incident that made the wire snap. This person could have experienced a history of discontent, rejection, loss? Maybe they had failed at numerous things in the past. Here’s the thing, nobody’s asking you to be a saviour. It’s impossible to deny how taxing someone’s melt down moments are, the spin it puts on a potentially blissful situation. Adventures that end with tissues, and the repetitive intense cross analysing. Sing about the moments they do achieve something that can get them back to state. A glow in the dark, a snapshot and a reminder. “This is you, you’ve been a little lost amigo, but you’re on your way back. “ The hope will set the wheels into motion. A little hope, a little light.

Where do I start? Start with this. Success is a process. Instant gratification 99 percent of the time is a fiction. The easy answer is passion, determination, faith, belief. Success takes action and completion. There should be no dream without the hunger to activate it. Talk isn’t cheap. It’s expensive. Many people, and I’ve definitely been one of them, rant about a vision that will change their lives in the near future. Something that will translate them from a base level dreamer, to someone the world looks up to. When I first ventured into writing I would talk for hours about the books I would finish, the story line, the characters, all the intricacies of a Hollywood movie plot. Time and again, there would be blank pages, novels gone uncompleted, long winded excuses. Until one day I’d lost so much self confidence in myself, I was terrified to even pick up a pen. Nervous to bring up any ambitions I had, for fear that even dreaming them could bring failure. After writing I felt I needed to make money and boost my self esteem, so I went into photography. “Photography will be a challenge, I’ll make a fortune and I’ll have fun.” INCORRECT. I managed to accomplish finding a potential investor for my business, a partner to provide me with free vintage clothing wear for upcoming photo shoots, a marketing campaign which acquired the customer details of over 300 potential clients. Have you heard the statement if you fail to plan you plan to fail. I had not completed my business plan outline; I had no official website, no administration team, and no regular studio. I had lost more money than I could have dreamed of. After two years of struggling with an up and down business. I finally decided to return to my passion, writing. After years of procrastination, I achieved a feat so incredible even I was dumbfounded. With focus and motivation, I completed my first fiction novel in four weeks. That pride gave me the confidence to start editing, and begin outline sketches for the rest of my stories. Ideas are fantastical things. Where would we be if Alexander Bell, Martin Luther King, and Anthony Robbins all the great leaders of our time simply had an ‘idea’ to become. We’d be living in a world full of holes and half finished jigsaws.

Pick your team wisely. Many people have heard me discuss this, or found the symbolic representations of it in my poetry. Picking your friends and the people you want as part of your life is pivotal in your climb to success. Someone who is negative, controlling, manipulative should not be a regular in your life sitcom. Supportive, ambitious, confident positive, and informative. Insecure, controlling friends who crave attention should not be a topic. It’s nice when you’re out with a confident friend/ associate and you think, hey I’ve got some brochures and some flyers about my business or my book this is a great location for networking. A positive friend will say “well, it’ll be nice to meet some new faces, show me how it’s done maybe I can learn from you.” A negative friend will huff and puff making the whole experience uncomfortable, hurried, and painful. I’ve been both in different circumstances. Another friend to avoid are the ones that kill your dreams or ideas at seed, as in literally suck the excitement out of a dream. An example of a good friend is someone who makes it a point to be happy for you and celebrate your steps towards success. It is a definitive strength of character. My sister is a great example of this. Whatever the pitfall or problem she’s experiencing in her life, she makes it a point to express her pride of the people around her. She’s one of those blessed people. They are always the one’s to hear good news because when something great happens to you, she’s the first person you want to call. My younger brother is valued for his protective, creative and honest opinions. It is important to have people that offer a balance. He’s neither a yes person, or a nay sayer, he simply says ‘honestly’ wether an idea, a business scheme or a project makes sense to him. As a member of the public, or a potential customer. He’s a why person. People who give you fruitful explanations without tiptoeing or walking on thread. My older brother is aggressively encouraging and stubbornly ambitious. He’s ruthlessly driven, and his hunger for success and a brighter future rub off on the people around him. My parents are the foundation. My mother is an action person, a fierce go getter, who soldiers through any attempts at sabotage with both nonchalance and fearlessness and my father is a visionary. Astute in his knowledge.

There are many more people that make up my circle of success. People i’ve learned from awed at, been both impressed and at times intimidated by. Who are the people you respect? It can be a celebrity whose life story engaged you, someone whose passion enthralled you, and maybe has chased your dream and succeeded. Knowledge is wisdom, wisdom is strength.

Invest in your time and building your strength. Things we learn in life are priceless, whether you learn things the hard way or the easy way...it’s up to you. Your choice shouldn’t just be in people, time management, education, investigation. Life is discovery.

How do you want to be remembered? If this was your last day on Earth, how would you live it? How would you communicate with the world, share your knowledge, your experiences, celebrate your growth.

Do as you dare. If you’re scared to be criticised your scared to live. The world is watching? The world is always watching. What do you want them to see? Acknowledge, respect. Guess what? It’s not up to you. People will see what they want to see. It’s like going shopping; we all pick what we like best. The good and the bad, they choose what they judge you by; you choose what you live by.

You have a voice. You may be at your lowest ebb. Crawling through a trench of old memories, Desperate and hungry to be fixed. What a broken clock you are. Where is the watchmaker's son to mend you? To redefine the boundaries of your life, master the formula and produce the equation. Solution is choice. Choose your solution, a day by day plan, to nourish a starving goal. Take the fear from your pocket and bury it as far as you can. Fear is a delicious dessert; too many people are comfortable with the shadow of a risk. Risk takes disappointment, questioning our selves, interviewing our abilities. The commentators in our lives, and their nightingale song, choir the composers in the dark recesses of our mind. Risk is separation. Risk is walking on air and not knowing where to place your footing. Someone told you they failed, “I was a mess,” they dramatise. Even better they always know someone else who failed, “he wanted to be an astronaut and now he’s a postman” “Yeah he was a billionaire, now he sells fried chicken in a stall”. Myths to make a movie by and the stories as farfetched as they seem pour in like sludge. Chinese whispers about classroom geniuses that wriggle in mental institutions. People, who the world respected, made redundant in the blink of an eye. ‘Happy’ at public gatherings, despondent in life. Nobody on Earth can tell you how to live your life, who to become. You can by as many self help books as you want, become a sheep, herded and shoved by the masses. If you recall, you have a voice. Your voice is different. Your voice is powerful.

Failure is a given. It’s the lesson, helps with the evolution of the soul, fuels growth, eternally. If you didn’t fail, you wouldn’t be so ravenous to succeed. I’ve failed at many things in my life. Businesses, ideas that just sat on pages like slobs. I’ve failed at friendships, family ties, job opportunities yet in my lifetime I’ve succeeded at many other things, and began polishing the categories I’d failed at. I’ve learned the importance of Creating opportunities for myself, managing to inspire not always the many, but infinitely the few.

Society is scared of failure, because it’s scared of judgement. What we easily forget? Those people who judge us so brutally have failed too. The history, the pain of the experience is branded so deep in their souls. It’s like a sword in the stone. Only in the animations the sword in the stone empowered king Arthur, for many of us...it traps us. We don’t want to be left behind, don’t want to be compared, laughed at. Others have built a fortress of superiority around them, so high. With no windows and no doors, they can’t even see their next door neighbours. It took years to build, a labyrinth they can’t bear to see demolished

How they make their fortunes.....and keep you on the wheel

I was going to talk about how to be a millionaire, but I think what needs to be said is what the people are dealing with in Britain. The system is structured to keep everyone at a certain level, especially the benefit system. People complain that the British Benefit system is being abused, and these are troubling times for us, more rules are instigated for the working class and the lower class to stay on the hamster Wheel in Jobs they hate. Yet when you strive to push beyond it the system counters you with an attack. Families who struggle financially, yet as soon as the Government hears your moving forward they either tax you more, or you aim to be more intellectually assertive you are penalized by the system for having the audacity to dare to dream of wanting more for yourself and your families. They have shows (Benefit Street), Jeremy Kyle shows, representing people on the benefit system as one label, lazy, greedy, opportunist. That’s three. Yet here it is in a nutshell. How about the governments that endorse the lives of Politicians, Rich people simply get richer because the system ensures they are in a hub that the Socially in elite cannot access. Politicians that are granted outrageous amounts of credit, celebrities on lifestyles they can’t afford, through the screen we watch them celebrate them, yet their living a life we should be in some ways allowed access to. Did you know that Google make’s billions simply from those Text ads and mini infographics most of us simply ignore, data is money. Did you know that if you are a celebrity and your website is linked to Google adsense, Cpc, PPC, and advertising Campaigns through the post, the companies representing them make  a fortune, Millions, just from you sitting in front of your Tv Screen watching their shows adictively, hooking you, and then you search online. Marketing companies pay them a fee to link to those keyword campaigns, and these tools are used to take the layman’s for Millions, so why do the layman simply get penalized for attempting to better themselves, or use Benefit money to facilitate a course, a masters degree anything that can live you above the ton. “ Yet there are laws,” really? Outrageous fines for those who try, why doesn’t the legal system tighten the crime laws? Why don’t they stop investing money in dead end programs to strategically drag everyone into jobs they hate, why not create more programs to endorse and facilitate those who have studied a career, taken years out of their lives in a field, and create a pathways program, instead of slovenly shoving everyone in retail jobs, or employment which has nothing to do with what they endorsed the government, for School fees, they end up consistently paying, for a life they didn’t even choose.

The pretty parade (how to be happy?)

image by Malice


The Pretty woman soundtrack is trending at the moment, maybe it's the nostalgia of valentines day gone, bringing the romantic back in all of us. That wish fulfillment to find love and have someone validate you not for what you are, but who you are, that essence. Most women love the film. The character was feisty, bubbly, funny, warm, loving, endearing, insecure at times, we all have those elements of our personality, and Julia Roberts with that dynamite figure and dynamic smile put the Kapow in the Movie along with Richard Gere's seductive gentleman charms. Yet how do women respond to an attractive female in general? It's an interesting debatable topic.With pretty celebrity women we assume that they have uber self esteem because they are often worshipped and idolised in the media. Wether their Russian women, Chinese women, Any woman in general, as soon as they get the hottest women or hottest woman tag we nstantly think, that's it, your life is made, when actually i think life may be a bit more complex than that. People often forget the ultimate goal in living, it's lost in what i call, the pretty parade.We endorse our insecurities in all these superficial things like makeup, skincare products, jobs we hate to acquire more money to buy more stuff, to validate ourselves in order to show look we have all these things we must be happy. Just because someone has all those things doesn't mean that they are.

 In the act of purchasing, and acquiring new things we feel uplifted for the minute because capitalism does that. It's a marketing campaign to brainwash you into believing if you acquire all these goods and have all these things you'll be happier than your counterparts? Competitors?Yet there are some people who have hardly amassed barely a million and their happy because their greatful for the small things. And their not participating in the pretty parade. It's not so much about show and tell, or show and convince the world, they havent got the time their too busy living their lives. Running the greatest lesson my mother teaches everyday, " their own race" so their happy within themselves.

Initially my argument was going to be that as an attractive woman you should be allowed to celebrate your strengths and boombox them from the top of the roofs. Yet upon speaking to others i realise self confidence is not about boasting. It's not about boom boxing. It's a quietness that comes from within it has that Ninja stealth that get's you from ground zero to level up. I was reading a blog this morning called the housewife down under and the writer complained of being snobbed and treated badly because she was attractive, but someone i know raised a fair point. Sometimes it's an energy we pick up from people that makes us distance ourselves from them. We make assumptions, and if someone is nice and their open, and their willing to let the world in and take risks and be positive, they can crucify those negative assumptions. If you find yourself coming across people who are nasty and negative because they believe you are a threat to them, those are not people you want to associate with. What they've done to you, they would have done it to other people. For key reason's they are scared and they are unhappy, yet someone precious to me said you don't need to take that within you. You don't need to let that be part of you or enter you, let that inhabbit their spirit. People like that have been denied a lot, they have a chip on their shoulder.  We've all been like those people or experienced those people it's never fun. What should be is our lives. There are people who are happy on less, joyous on less, laugh often, and laugh loudly on less than the percieved ideals of what you should have to be happy, and who you should be to be happy.


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Cancelling negative comparisons

www.gtldna.co.uk


Sometimes in life we spend so much time comparing ourselves to those around us, we forget to praise ourselves for even the greatest accomplishment we make. Because it's 'great what we've done' , yet sadly in comparison to A, B, C and D were just not enough. Not smart enough, not successful enough, not attractive enough. If you do not look where your going you will......crash. Your not supposed to be in their skin, living their life, because your lesson is a personal one. Your journey is a personal one. That's why you were born as you. If your best friend wins a million pounds and marries the richest man in the world, if that work colleague you hate suddenly gets promoted, if your sister/ brother becomes a pioneer of science, or a mathematical genius, these are their stories. What is yours? Do you plan to sail the Atlantic ocean, relocate, start your own business, write your own best selling novel? One person cannot drive two cars. Focus on your life, goals, ambitions, and most of all happiness. For some happiness is fleeting, like a tease, or a seductress that weaves a spell and in the morning disappears. Yet happiness for you....is and will be long term. You fight to hold unto it, and follow with much excitement it's magic and the adventures it's taking you on.

Crippling corruptive circumstances

image by vs3

Circumstances are not the standard. Things happen so we learn, we fight, we rise above them and show ourselves exactly what we can do. So the next time circumstance happens, we can say to ourselves I've been here before, I know myself, i trust myself.I have faith.

Use your circumstances to empower your mind. Decide that you aim to get the better of circumstance, rather than your circumstance get the better of you. Whatever your going through, it is a time and a place. This is where you will begin to see if you are a testament of your own faith.

Affirm, think, take positive action. It is so easy to suffocate in the mess of the situation, sink into self pity, and ask a million question's why. You've asked the why, lets focus on the what next.

Plan your steps wisely. Look for opportunities despite your blurred vision. Take action.

Positive Mental attitude: How one Woman made a million simply begging online

Karyn Bosnak shopaholic managed to get a world of people to pay for her addiction alone. It started a trend called cyber begging, and till this day she's an internet sensation. In comparison to Karyn's begging technique, i am a writer,and a skint business woman who is trying to raise funds to support her business ideas, and make it in the industry. Please show your support by purchasing a copy of the book here. Many people look down their noses at things like cyber begging or pledging, but i believe it's a creative way to help someone else. Because you never know, one day we may be in a nick of trouble and need support.