Cowardly Cringe worthy bully exposed: To me anyway

Today god would have it that without meaning to, i just dealt with a cowardly spineless cringe worthy bully. For a year and a half, this fat girl and her mother were trying to pick on me because id dared to speak to their older son. I was convinced the guy had crush on me, i'm still convinced this guy had a thing for me. Yet rather than admitting it, instead of having a backbone because in his family's food chain he's at the bottom of the rung, he saw my very bold attempt to speak to him as an opportunity to gain favour with his family. I was put down, ridiculed, laughed at, they'd join together, never alone, they could never face me on their own. In Archetypal bully format they needed numbers, they needed to be a gang and band against one person. Also, their very insecure people, and they wanted to impress some young girl that was visiting their family. From running to point me out and laugh at me, to making me the hot topic of most of their pathetic gossip. They seemed to get this real kick out of it. Now i can never say i'm a saint, because i'm definitely a firecracker, but i know envy when i see it. I used to think you have to be conventionally pretty and tick all the boxes for people to be envious of you, when actually you can just have something they lack and their envious about it. The guy made it more than clear to his family that he wasn't interested in me, but out of their own selfish agenda, jealousy and spite, this woman and her daughter took it upon themselves to attempt to try desperately to make me feel really small. Now this woman is too terrified to face me because she does a lot of nasty things to people, and she's terrified of confrontation. This morning her daughter who had joined her family to be putting me down, trying to ridicule me, desperately trying to make me feel small, the girl saw me, and was too scared to get out of her car. I don't believe in coincidences, i believe god was saying, these are the people trying to make you feel small, look how weak they are. I couldn't believe it. Her kids are grown up, but they are spineless yet so cruel. I actually walked outside to take the bins out 3 times as though to say, if you've got something to say to me, if you've actually got a backbone, i'm not running anywhere, I'M RIGHT HERE YOU MORON!! This fool stayed and hid in her car like a coward, pretending as though she was looking for something, and she's twice my size as well, and older than me. It's pathetic. She did the same crap when i saw her in the shopping Mall, after having so much 'crap' to say about me, this fool just stood there and stared at her feet the whole time. Classless.

My remit is simple. If you don't want to live paranoid and scared of repercussions, don't agravate people. Don't gossip and belittle them because of your own self esteem issues. No matter what this girl and her family have to say about me, i have my insecurities, but i have more confidence than they'll ever have. They were putting me down because something was lacking in their lives and it is huge. If you have to ridicule someone and put them down to make people like you, to make people find your family interesting, it shows how inadequate you really are. It's the way invisible people make themselves visible. It's the way people who crave attention desperately. That was god's way of saying,  "look, here's the shrimp that's trying to make you feel small. Look how small they are. She's so insignificant, there's absolutely nothing there." This fool that had so much nonsense, vomit, gas, poison to say, was too scared to step out of her car. How spineless must you be. Everybody deserves to be happy, even those fools. Oh and the whole time they've been desperately trying to make me feel small, i've kept my head up. I'm not in the business of sucking the life out of my shoe laces with my eyes. I have what's called self esteem, and no jealous, wimpy, pathetic, fool is gonna steal that from me. The joy we have, it is our right to hold unto it. We deserve to smile and laugh, and be joyful every single day, because life is hard enough. A year later this worm is still trying to make me feel small for a mistake i made over a year ago? Get a grip.

I love this it's so spot on: Twenty signs of a coward!!! Brilliant post, check out the site

IMAGE BY KHI

Twenty recognizable signs of a wimp
You don’t want to befriend them or hire them or marry them. They are the grey little people hiding in the shadows while others do the heavy lifting and take the risks. They second guess, undermine and find fault.

Here are the warning signs:

1.bitches, whines and complains
2.unprincipled, no values base
3.weak
4.a sissy, a wuss5.lazy
6.humorless, goofy
7.unkempt
8.disagreeable9.unfit
10.self-centered
11.gossips
12.dependent
13.sneaky
14.spineless, a coward
15.ineffectual, non-contributor
16.laughs at others’ hardships or mistakes
17.takes unfair advantage
18.must go first
19.selfish
20.uninteresting and uninterested

http://success.org/success/2011/03/twenty-recognizable-signs-of-a-wimp/

How to deal with a cruel rejection from a guy you like?

Pretend like he doesn't exist, literally. You dont have to play nice because...he was an arsehole about it. Yet if 'mr i need some publicity' suddenly gets an attack of the conscience and starts playing uber nice. Going out of his way to bump into you, doing the whole 'hey didn't you hear me calling you routine?' yawn, yawn. Just remember he had the opportunity to be a gentleman, and decided to take the low road.
A road that meant he didn't mind, ridiculing you, humiliating you, and being cruel. After the glory of looking like a Kingpin has worn off, reality creeps in. People constantly need new things to hold an audience. Mocking you was hillarious for that moment, sadly the moments done, and the people who lack self esteem, need to be validated with a nasty story about someone else. Maybe you were always really nice to him, great to talk to, fun, inspiring, well his dmb arse has just driven fun and inspiring away. He needs to produce a strategy, that my love, is the strategy you will avoid and ignore at all cost. The aim is to show that not only did his cruelty mean nothing, there is no desire to be close to him in anyway shape or form.


 What if your crush actually did like you, well those were the signs you picked up anyway; Yet he chose to ridicule and humiliate you because that's what the people around him were doing, it was easier to be a follower than stand up and be counted.I experienced it recently and of course, it wasn't the things that other people had to say that hurt. It was the fact that he was too much of a coward to speak up. Guys like this, tend to bide their time then decide to consistently 'happen' to bump into you when no one else is around. You could be on your way to a class and none of their friends are around, suddenly this guy is hot on your heels despite his lecture being in the opposite direction. Maybe your on your way to the shops, or just waiting around for one of your friends and in higher spirits, Mr 'All GUTS' decides to saunter over to you.

My guess is it will begin with an entourage of 'notice me' nods. You know, when you have that inkling someone wants you to see them, and you happen to spot them somewhere and everywhere. Every chick has experienced this with the shy guy, now witness the ahole do it. A series of nervous and slightly embarassed nods or 'hellos'. Remorse or no remorse, sorry love, its game over from here.

That's right all the key players, meaning you, are gone. don't even let him get past the front door. Keep as firm a distance from him specifically as you possibly can. DOES THE WORD COWARD MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU?

Some women "WITH EXTREMELY LOW SELF ESTEEM," defend, "he wasn't saying anything, just laughing. Guess what laughing is, it's encouragement. It's like saying, it's alright to make someone feel small, it's alright to degrade someone, it's alright to go for their confidence. In a circle of bullies and cowards guess who would be defined as the worst. The person who laughed the loudest who laughed the most.

Give other guys a chance. Socialise with as many people as you can, but don't be naieve enough or stupid enough to suddenly get the urge to see how you communicating with this guy or that guy is having an effect. By nature i've discovered men can be very posessive and very jealous, even when they dont want something. A jealous guy isn't always a guy that genuinely cares. Upgrade your standards and decide you're worthy of so much more, and one hundred times better. Are you telling me that with over a billion men in the world, this crud is the best you can do? I think not.

(2nd picture by Roosalia)

When the guy you thought you liked, is completely gutless

He knew what was going on, his mother knew what was going on. All it took were a few people to ridicule, insult and belittle me, and that was it for him. The same guy that kept parking in front of my house, loitering outside waiting for me to come home, slowing his car down to a crawl had suddenly disappeared off the face of the planet. I knew exactly what was going on. He was avoiding me because he was utterly and painfully gutless, a campaign for coward. Usually when i leave my house, he conveniently steps out of his, pretending to be fixing something, or taking something out. What a wakeup call, originally, i'd just shake my head when i saw him because in my spirit i'd thought to myself how can you let other people tell you who to talk to at the age of 30 something years old, that's weak.Our family had fallen out with his mother, the way most people in the neighbourhood had fallen out with his mother. One day randomly this passive aggressive, vindictive, manipulative woman with a jealous agenda, would suddenly write a letter of complaint. Rather than simply telling you what the problem is, she'll wait till she goes into her house, finds people she's familiar with and spread malicious gossip. That is her brand of behaviour. She never tells you what's wrong, or what you've done to offend her, what she does is suddenly become very competitive, unhealthily so.At first i was convinced it was all my imagination, i didn't say anything for months, as though i were harbouring a secret. I wondered wether i was reading too deep into things. Yet with time i began to sense that he really wanted to speak to me. When i'd first moved to my area, i'd given him my number and he'd called me on the phone.

I had other neighbours and none of them parked in front of my house like he did, i noticed there was always a world of space in front of his house when he was parking in front of my home.Yeah we were next door neighbours but parking in front of my house was a choice. My ex boyfriend used to park in front of my house everytime we had an argument because he wanted to get my attention. He was too nervous at the time to speak to me,so he'd park in front of my house with whatever vehicle he was driving this time. With this guy I'd think why are you parking in front of my house, instead of yours. I noticed he was shy, and found it hard making eye contact. I knew despite being banned from communicating with my family members, he'd approached my sister and nervously told her about moving up in the work environment, and a daughter on the way. I knew i wasn't imagining this because my sister who is class a at people observations, had told me that when she brought up my name, there's a softness in his eyes. Like the look you get when you have a crush on someone. I'm always the first to say a guy doesn't like me, or doesn't find me appealing, yet every woman knows this, that gut instinct you have, that sixth sense when you question is this my imagination, or could this person find me attractive.

It was a simple apology that brought his true character to light. Not being someone that celebrates valentines day, most of the time i have no idea when it is. I'd seen him a few weeks back, my hair had been a state, and my clothes a disaster. It's one of those times when you pray you don't see anyone. I'd seen him coming, and like you do, when you might begin to like someone. You become self conscious. I said "Oh shit," and ran for dear life. Also his mum had pissed me off a few days before. I came back out and he was still standing in front of his house. He hadn't gone in yet, and i'd put on my hat to cover my hideous hair. He looked hurt, as if he felt as though maybe i'd snobbed him. He looked hurt and furious. I didn't see him for weeks, and was riddled with guilt. I may not have been able to stand his mother, and his family members, but he'd always seemed like the nicest guy of the lot. I finally braved it not knowing it was valentines day. I hadn't seen his car around, so i put the apology on his sisters car, not knowing that he had changed cars.


I'd written and re written that apology at least ten times. I wanted him to know that i was sincere, and i was sorry he'd felt bad. I wanted to make him feel respected as he has a soft tone to his voice, and people often mistake that for unintelligence. My apology was ridiculed and so was i. I could hear his mother cackling vindictively, and the laughter carried into my room. I haven't seen him since then...i wonder why. If i did i'd be too disgusted to look at him. He knows that my family are not bad people, we've been nothing but polite and gracious to him in particular, yet he never speaks up, he never said anything. I know why his mother did what she did. The more ridiculous she made me look and sound, the more ashamed he would be of having an attraction to me around his brother and sister. I got the feeling she felt betrayed by the fact he found me attractive....clearly not attractive enough to defend. I don't know wether he said anything nasty as well, maybe to fit in, maybe just to be cruel, but everything i thought about him being a coward and gutless was spot on. It took a lot of humility to write that apology, especially to a woman who is a hypocrite and has no morals. I stayed at my sisters for a while because now i felt ashamed. How could i have liked someone that weak, that emotionally immatured. What was i thinking?

When i returned home his mother was in her garden and i thought heeeeell no. I marched right downstairs,and i called her exactly what i thought of her...JEALOUS.I was furious, i said loudly to her, "if you have anything to say about me and my family, then you say that to me. Because i wanna hear it." As is usually the case with a bully like her she went back into her house. That's not the first time i've confronted her about her dispicable behaviour. The last time i became so furious "i told her to act her flipping age." She was surprised when she saw me pacing in front of her house, but she knew her nasty behaviour wouldn't be tolerated. This woman has snobbed other peoples families, there's an elderly woman who has to visit solicitors regularly because this one woman has been trying to make herself look good by saying she'll have some of the neighbours thrown out. I've heard when people try and apologise to her, or confront her and ask her if they can resolve the issue she has, she wont come out to speak to them even if their really calm. She looks miserable most days, yet i've noticed nothing makes her feel happier than the sadness of other people she's a real piece of work. She seems to crave attention. For example most people having a private conversation would talk quietly on their mobile phones, not this woman. Unlike anybody in our neighbourhood, or anybody i've seen, she puts her phone on the loudest speaker so it's practically a microphone and talks either in her garden or in the front of her house so everybody can hear her conversations. It's utterly strange, it's as though she craves attention.

OF MICE AND MEN:THE PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COWARD

It's a funny thing when people follow someone's negative attitude without coming up with real conclusions themselves, ultimately it backfires.Someone i know used to have a serious thing for me, i don't know wether it was a real crush but it was something.This isn't me being egotistical, i've always been quite insecure about my looks.

One day his mother suddenly decided she was far too good for me and my family, she never told us why, she was just extraodinarily rude, would close doors when she saw me coming, cross the street, leave the garden, back bite and bitch. Before long, this poison spread to the rest of her family.

I've always been polite to his family, it's how i was raised. Yet him, the person i joked with, laughed with, was natural with, would begin to immitate his mothers actions. Would roll up his car window when he saw me approaching, go back into his house, pretend not to see me and turn up the music.It's funny how you don't notice these pricelessly irrelevant things until your experiencing your own delicious form of depression.

One day i simply smiled at him and said, "can't you say hello anymore?" and it hit me,he was doing it on purpose. Despite knowing full well i had done nothing to him or his family. From initially being hurt, and offended, i suddenly became angry. No one has a right to maintain a grudge against you, spread poison, to family or friends, without facing you head on. But people can be cruel and cowardly.

Oh how the tables turned, if only for a little.

Recently i've started doing the same thing to him. Not as dramatically. Just ignoring him and making it as clear through body language as possible, "you are no one to me anymore." I don't even look him in the eye.I'm doing this and looking twice as good, despite experiencing one of the most question mark, arithmetic years of my life. It's my way of saying "good job, excellent idea".

He's now taken to parking his car directly on the pavement in front of my house,despite there being enough parking space outside his house, and opposite. He stands on his doorstep with his hands on his hips acting all alphamale,eyeing me as if daring me to ignore him. We all know when we feel the burn of someone's stare, and the ripples of challenge.

Recently he was waiting in his car, it felt as if he wanted to see if i'd speak to him.Lurking in the shops when i go there, and of course talking and making nice with my family members once again, after giving us a wide berth and the cold shoulder for almost a year.

I get it. Their just neighbours. It's no big deal,i'm not the only person on the planet with ridiculous neighbours. I think it hurt because he seemed like such a nice guy. Yet for almost a year this nice guy chose to pretend as though my family and i were ghosts. After joking with us, laughing with us, knowing full well that we were good people, being in our home a few times, he didn't have the design to simply stand up and say, "these are good people".

There are two questions here: Why is this such a big deal, What the hell did you do? I'll answer question two first, no flippin idea mate. In answer to question 1, why is it such a big deal? Because i know i would never have done that to him. My family would have never acted that way towards him, and when your emotionally more fragile, things hurt that much more. I was glass pretending to be rock. I'd strut with my head held so high, then in the privacy of my home, just crumble and sob. I cried so much, it got to the point i didn't even know why i was crying. Another element that pissed me off was something even more ridiculous. I looked amazing. The more miserable i felt, the better i made sure i looked. Once i was walking home and he was staring at me as if i was a martian with all the best ice cream.His quest to communicate began with those stares.Shallow? Maybe.

If you like someone have the honour to defend them even in the privacy of your own home. Sometimes people are like a house of cards, loneliness creates such emotional desertion. It helps for them to know that the people who they thought were genuine were actually real. As you know depression is mostly about people thinking they made the wrong choice....in everything. It helps to have someone you like simply smile at you with warmth and heart. This is about more than that though, it's about a deeper frustration with people who refuse to speak up.I feel they are personally doing themselves and those around them an unfair injustice.