Respecting your Rules

image by Rasinka


We have to find ways to validate who we are, respect ourselves and honour our own existence; If you are someone who falls under the sweet spell of flattery too easily, beware.. A poison tongue is on it's way. Words have power. And if you let other people's words control you, they will mold you into something you don't recognise. When I was younger I had two female friends who I'll never forget. They were attractive young women who got quite a bit of male attention. They had both been comfortable with me in a supportive role, being a shadow whilst they were allowed to shine and show the best of themselves, counsel them about everything in relation to men, basically be the friend that helps them dissect and overanalyse everything, yet when there was a shift and I wanted to focus on my own life, and fix some of the problems that had arisen, there became a problem. Yet whilst supporting them I was the greatest person on Earth.
People are not lego. Sometimes we get caught up in trying to build them up, fixing them or supporting them doesn't guarantee fixing yourself. Your life shouldn't become their life. You need to work on you. The more i tried to 'fix' my 'friend' who seemed completely obsessed with making all the wrong choices when it came to men, the more distracted i was, the less i focussed on building my own self esteem and confidence. When i did decide to focus on building my self esteem, confidence, business projects and independance , i suddenly became the most selfish person ever.The problem wasnt primarily me, or the guys my friends were dating, it was all of us collectively. We should have all been making better choices i'm considering now. I should have tried to be my own best friend before i tried to be someone elses. My friend should have created some boundaries for the guys she dated so she'd feel valued respected and appreciated. Sadly she thought saying no to a guy you like would guarantee he'd hate you. The guys fully aware that there are plenty of fish in the sea, shouldn't have led on,someone so insecure,vulnerable,and terrified of being left. Ultimately life is full of choices, it would be great if we always made the right ones.Yet simply put, i guess we all have to accept that were only human.

Polvolting passed self pity

image by Crisco


Wow emotional relapse or what? We have moments where our self pity gets the better of us. Pity got the better of me yesterday, my eyes sweated out onions, and my smile needed a treasure hunt. Someone great once told me, failure is not something that happens instantaneously. It is a series of opportunistic regrets. People pleasing is such a destructive trait. We are failures when we give up on ourselves, allow others to tell us exactly who we are negatively or convince us were not good enough.

Other people will try and make you feel small because they feel small about their lives and themselves. Other people will make you question who you are and all the beliefs you hold dear to yourself. You may begin to compare and contrast. That is not your life. It is not your journey. You were not born to be like them you were born to be exactly who you are. To learn, to grow, and to evolve. Your journey is not about them. Ofcourse their opinions matter, without input, we lack the output to shape and evolve. Feedback is required. Yet there's positive feedback and there's negative feedback. Negative people will tell you everything your doing wrong and smugly sit on a throne of superiority, positive people will tell you everything your doing right, everything your doing wrong, yet always how they believe you can do it better. They care about you. They care about your improvements, growth, and successes. When we emotionally relapse it is important to associate ourselves with people who have real self esteem and are not motivated by their own selfish personal agenda's. The right people will be drawn to you like a magnet, the same way the wrong people will be drawn to you, like a magnet. Choose people who like to build and support those around them rather than tear them down.You fail when you quit. You fail, when you give up.

Predictions of power: How to spot a powerful person

In this society we find ourselves overwhelmed with people who need to pronounce they have power. Some use positive ways to reflect their strengths. They believe in community and understand growth isnt about isolation, but effective communication. They become pompus with their little achievements, and their flashy things. Looking down on everybody else and announcing themselves as superior. Others use cruelty to promote themselves as leaders. If they can dominate and be a pack leader without using calm assertion, but snobbery and vindictiveness before themselves, they are god.
What is real power?

Real power is the ability to assess a situation, without judgement, without manipulation, with a clear head and a strategy to fix or resolve any problems. A powerful man/woman is not always rolling in money; but they will be, because their knowledge permits them to govern any room. Knowledge they have taken time to invest in, research they have done. Behaviour they have cultivated to show the world i am not making changes simply for myself, i am thinking of us. Focussed on progress, working with no selfish ambition, but the believe that someday, i can make a change for every one. They are the communicators, the listeners, those who take the extra time to listen before they judge you.

image by Meganlara

Can winning the lottery ruin your life?

There have been a few documentaries on how winning the lottery ruined the lives of people who literally overnight became worth millions. Can they truly blame it on the money though? People who became human ATM machines, or complained their money either alienated people or brought about a sense of paranoia. Money has and always will bring certain traits to light. If someone has a selfish character, or the people who were in your life show up just to play sucubus, who they are will become more apparent because their greed has more to acquire.If you feel as though your being used, take a stand. Dont throw expensive parties to exhaust what you have, and then complain the people you were advertising yourself for, actually showed up because of your advert. There are loads of lottery winners who managed their money well before hand, and managed their friends well also. When that million came, they probably handled it the way they handled most of their money, bought a few treats here and there, made some investments, then got saving again. In the area of money those who love and want to protect us will always want to protect us. Those who weave in and out of our lives, will always appear when there's a juicy treat lined up in the shadows somewhere. We have to create the barriers and the lines of distinction. What does everybody else think, can winning the lottery ruin your life or do we just accept it makes it miles and miles better?