The Libra

"Dare i say it"
Mother speaks
laying a blanket
Of Cinnamon Pancakes
With honeyed syrup
and a fly
pinned to the top
"This is my gesture of love"
I eye it with discontent
Pancakes before our normal
Breakfast time
My stepmothers attempt
at Friendship
once more
Flawed and imprecise
Like her
Pancakes with a fly
On top
No jewellery
Of stainless steel
Diamante earing pods
No hemmed skirt
For a little Princess
Patchwork
Vintage
Olden style
Elizabeth Taylor Iconique
Pancakes with Honeyed Syrup
and a smile
A semi nude
Coffee skinned woman
in a blue velvet Gown
waterfall midnight hair
And eyes like starlets
"You are getting to know me," i extend
"I will keep the damsel as a souvernir,"
For she has negotiated her way
into my house
This coffee skinned woman
Her libran scales of balance
Providing new
seasons of comfort

Postmark stranded

I promised you
Flowers by the moonlight
Something alive
Breathing
Something loved
Needing Oxygen
The way i needed you
Needing water
You are cocooned
Within this soil
Lovers trudge by in dirty
working man boots
and timberlands
Just to tell stories
Journal the days of the living
To those whose
Ears have slept
I miss the laughter
that bubbled from you
before the wine would come
Filling the room
Like a ghost
claiming glares like a gossip
Your laugh was a postcard
Of where we were
Our stamp
First class
Royal air
I am deciphering
my grief
Scared to embrace it
That it will morph and become me
Such a greedy
wholesome thing
Like a baby suckling
At your breast
Claiming buds of milk
I am only 3 months
into this cycle
By the moonlight
The ghosts of other peoples
tears
and snatches of their conversation
piercing my eardrums
It is like being at sea
With a tempest
Like an angry Horizon
It is like being on
an Island
with no boat
My eyes are wild orbs
From lack of sleep
I grow restless in my
own company
pacing the brackets
Of the limitations i set
I miss most the scent of you
Like a burning incense
Making my whole body shiver
The talks into a purple night
as my complexion would pale
For you were somewhat
extraordinary
Where are you now
My extraordinary love
For i am stranded here

splash

I have baptised myself in a new lie
That i am happy without you
I pull back the soft silk of the bed sheets
Mosaic printed
studying the wrinkles
and the stains you left
On your side of the bed
The cd plays jazz on repeat
our favourite song
dances into my eardrums
as tears burrow like
critters deeper
into my skull
I have baptised myself in a lie
strands of light are a strain to
this purple lit room
Where my flesh rots
with dirt
It has been days of mourning
Weeks of pain
Hours and minutes of loss
Clothes are strewn across
our once Canvas room
There is an echo
Of sobs i wept
A shadow stalls in the corner
glaring angrily at me
Yet dare i remove myself
From the bosom of so much pain
Dare i dual
Once more with love
and life.

The new song

Theres a song in your heart
A poem that has brought you to your knees
You crush the grapefruit
of words between your tongue
The sweet yet sour taste of truth
embedded with sweet lies
That were delicious
Once upon a time
And you tell yourself
This narrative,
My narrative
makes sense
Beneath the sting
Of old pain
Wounds that bleed
With welts and scars around them
A map of pain
A globe of history
Experiences
And you prepare
new words
new songs
a new poem in your heart
Featherlight
To float into tomorrow
Countering the sting
Of yesterday

what it means when a shy guy gives you all the green signals and nothing happens

Lady, so you are sitting there blank as a sheet, you flirted up a storm and now your emotionally exhausted. Wow did that take some skill, you don't even giggle like that, and those more conservative colours you wore to express a more subtle style... Well the tights were itching the hell out of you. Let's be real. Men, all men are hunters, although feminism has made women more empowered  and believe they can take the lead truth is, the guy your interested in can use a phone. He can text, call, send an email, by heck if he's really creative he can send a postcard.



Buy my new ebook The whisper of dreams Purchase a copy of my new ebook The whisper of dreams https://www.amazon.co.uk/Whisper-Dreams-Otatade-Okojie-ebook/dp/B07N687SRR/ref=zg_bsnr_362718031_17?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PHKC2M5RNJ78E04HXP55)

We love to make excuses for the one that got away, so we can go into uber feminist mode take the action away from the guy, yet you reframe the power in the situation. You become the hunter, not only will he tell his buddies, it will be the ego boost a guy with low self esteem needs and you might be setting yourself up to be someone's foot stool for self esteem. I've learnt from very toxic experiences with men that the more you make them work for it the more you show you have value.

Low self esteem guys are complex creatures all in all, they are a conumdrum. We are all fixing ourselves, the guy you want, may not be ready for a relationship, he may not be confident in his skin, he may have baggage, or he may actually just have been a guy who enjoys flirting which is actually some peoples way of communication.


Here it is in a nutshell, what you need to know. You are gorgeous, and lovable, and worthy of love, the right guy is right round the corner. One day you'll think of this guy and the next day you won't anymore. You are special, continue to build yourself up, and don't spend your lifetime analysing people who have probably moved on and are living their best live. Yet then we all need to take our own advice, I kid you not.

Purchase a copy of my new ebook The whisper of dreams https://www.amazon.co.uk/Whisper-Dreams-Otatade-Okojie-ebook/dp/B07N687SRR/ref=zg_bsnr_362718031_17?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1&refRID=PHKC2M5RNJ78E04HXP55) 

Life and your liasons

life will throw some opportunities your way, what you do with those opportunities define the type of individual you become. Change comes. It is a torrent pushing some to the edge ,others will find a stream, a narrowed path and travel through it. The biggest affliction is a mind that cannot succumb to change, it will overwhelm you, you will see boobie traps laiden ahead, mine pits of fear, and you will chorus from a shadow of your own misunderstanding.

Utilise these opportunities that come your way, ask the mind many questions, it will guide you if that is what you want of it. Seeker, empath, guardian, keep a keen eye. You must have your wits about you, you are no passenger in this trial we call life. Listen twice, and observe before taking action.

Your millionaire mind

It doesn't matter what people say about you, it's what you know about yourself to be true that counts. Low self esteem is a slanging match with one's self. We claw ourselves down, because we have the ammunition of other people's razor blade words, words that bleed out every core . Chain you to a new shadow, and sink you to a grave of self contempt. As an entrepreneur, a creative, an individual, as a self, you must love this self, you must affirm positivity to this mind. It is not your passenger, it is your driver, for it to steer you, you must respect it, bless it with new knowledge, connect it to people who have engaged with wisdom whose paths are growing, and excite it with new challenges. The mind loves challenges, your mind wants to show you your potential, but it must ease you into it, with goals, vision, and hunger. In the quiet times speak fire to become flesh, ideas waltz when they are given legs with actions, they parade themselves before you, triumphant, look what I've become, see my path, share my journey. Knowledge doesn't just empower, it heals.

T

To the victor goes the spoils?

It makes sense to want to dwell, we live in a world where people don't always play fair. They cheat. They use certain tactics to gain access to the information you have, to empower themselves and yet so they win? Not really. victory is a mindset. You are a Victor when you learn the art of happiness, some people will never be happy in this lifetime. It is a choice they make consistently with the actions they take. Greed, cruelty, envy , and when the light grows dim, they crawl their way back to you hoping you'll welcome them into your bosom. We are a product of the choices we make, we are a fragmented self, distorted self, damaged self, at times a broken self, yet in this lifetime, be an honest self. Be true to the reflection you see, do not be supported by other people's fears and other people's failures. It makes sense to dwell, yet we live in a world where dwelling is not the key to the answers you seek.

Why you need to fail

Evolutions of the self

I began my journey with the frustration of a series of epileptic seizures, and the lesson, that life always wants to teach. God is a master at organising our growth through the experience of pain. Yet my journey begins once more with new tools at my disposal, other 'crimes of humanity,' at which i screamed, God it's not fair! By jove it's not bloody fair! Then i looked around and realized, i wasn't screaming on my own. There were an army of Worlds around me, thick with longing, desperate with desire, eager to appease this insidious thing that moved with such stealth, and such simple mania. We are all tormented in our different ways, facing trials, wanting retribution. I spent years thinking fighting was about scrapping, was about the other, until at the very edge of a precipice i struck gold. I was fighting with myself. The demon of control, that laughs at the chaos spread about you like a chinese buffet. Life in our minds is supposed to be easy, we believe we jumped through one hoop, then spent an eternity on stilts, terrified the world would reflect what ran amock inside. Those twisted wires and cables that vibrated like a cellular phone, jerking the body in spasms, writhing, twisting simple faces. Of simple people, that wanted simple things. I live therefore im hungry, passionate about the changes needed to be made, the paintbrush with the etching in the corner, the sounds of fear like a calypso in your head, twirling, circling, baiting you with such vulnerable ease. We are our own greatest harlem, the Ghetto of the mind, and if you dont grab its poky dusty heart, let it drip as it pops in your fingers, it becomes real to you, and the architect of the panic. I call them panic because we have no idea what we are afraid of , where the acid leaks from, the scent oozes from, and the new questions arise, yet you are only human, there are more questions to come. You will define your goals by your answers, your answers will direct you on a higher path.

Infinite waters diving deep: This is real growth

I love this guys vlog he provides such insightful, thoughtful information on healing the human spirit and growth. Imagine experiencing the things we go through, and having your own mentor and coach to advise, guide and help you heal, day by day. He helps build confidence, and teaches you to understand the psychology of human behaviour, before you judge yourself too harshly.

labelling the liar:How to deal with someone's lies

image by karikarma

Liars know the secrets buried within their own hearts. No matter what they speak, deep down they know that they are being dishonest and there is an anger that comes with that. Anger that they weren't brave enough to tell the truth and face the consequences, especially if beneath it all lurks a good spirit. This would put them in a state of internal conflict. How do we define good? People who go to church ? Eat all their vegetables? Pay their mum's rent and bills? A good person will not suffer anyone their own personal consequences. They won't creep out whilst some other person deals with the consequences, or creep in secret hoping they won't have to bump into the person they've disappointed.

Outside of priests and the pope everybody tells lies. Maybe it's little white lies, or straight up denials. If your in the presence of someone who is a compulsive liar, it's time to move unto steadier ground. Someone you can trust is not decietful, and doesn't lie at the cost of someone else's reputation or theirs.

Liar is a label. Sometimes people are scared, and they lie. Insecure..and they lie, Some lie to protect the ones they love, others lie because it just comes easily. Be honest, if you know someone close to you is lying, or being dishonest, let them know you are aware of their dishonesty, and you will not condemn them for having the courage to speak up and tell the truth.

Simply put, the truth will set them free. If they continue with their lies you have to decide how much of their stories or fables your willing to put up with. Tell them where you stand on lies, set those boundaries, and make them clear. Explain that you are understanding, believe in compromise, but will not be lied to as if you were a fool. You are no fool.