Sobbing women

Take it
All the way
Your little mind games
You say
I say
I'm cast iron
You'll break my
Will
You'll scoop my insides
And eat my skills
And when maggots
Crawl,
Blood pumps in your ears
Your pulse is lightening
Erection hard
This turns you on
Those battered shards
Those weeping women
Who sob
In corners
Here comes I
Offering a sperm donor
To a man
Whose never slept
With only ambition
So filthy and unkempt
It's puss stained
And bulging
An orchestra of fat,
Like somebody messed
Or someone don what
Take your lazy ambition
I'm more than words
I bring fruition
Enjoy the saliva
Of a challenge slicked
Tongue
Yet sobbing women
Always need to
Be wrong

Beating betrayal

My discussion topic for today is betrayal? How do you get part someone else's cruel betrayal, and the jealous malice of which they do things. Remember in the short term they think their hurting you but in the long term their hurting themselves. 3 years ago or so a guy i knew was down on his luck, his confidence was shot and he had nothing but a series of issues that kept him stranded on an island of self pity. Noticing this, i took it upon myself to write him a letter, it was the sort of letter that was supposed to cheer him up, make him feel good about himself again. To my astonishment and horror, he used this letter to humiliate me, spread malicious rumours and gossip , alienate me from family members and socially. It was the most sadistic thing anyone could do to me at the time as i was battling confidence issues of my own. If i were to describe him id call him a no hoper, a looser, and a bully, in true cowardly form as he spread his poison he hid in his house, would wait for me to disappear then pretend to be a man in front of his friends and family, concocting a fake beef, and stirring things up as much as possible.

When someone betrays a kindness, the warmth you show them, dont be a glutton for punishment, cut that person out and never invite them back into your life, until they've genuinely changed. Some people can never change, this is how they survive, how they navigate through life's difficult decisions, because they dont have the strength of character to utilize the common sense god gave them. Till this day i believe i had made the mistake of writing to someone who was damaged goods, who didn't love themselves, and that self hatred was projected unto me. If he had been a man he would have told me what his conflicts were, but my belief was that  his jealousy of my family life, happiness and little achievements over ruled the need to be his most masculine self. Take charge and conquer, the chaos as it spiralled further and further out of control. In fact as i wept privately he remained unphazed because not only had he manipulated others to finally see him as what he wasnt, he couldn't tell the difference between real respect, and other people just using you for their entertainment.

Don't hate them, i realize. They hate themselves enough, their a dissapointment to themselves enough, when they look in the mirror they see something gross and disgusting, so why shouldn't you. Imagine them being like a flame that can singe you, keep your distance. There are many arguments in their defence such as things happen, have a forgiving heart. Its great to forgive it helps you move on, all you can do is focus on yourself for now. The pain of betrayal doesn't sting, its like someone taking a blunt object and driving it into your chest with almighty force. I came to two realizations. That was no man, and certainly not one i wanted to be around.

How to spot the Ultimate Looser

image by tx01c

The ultimate looser in my eyes is a guy whose too scared to go after what he wants. Rather than face up to that. When he knows he lacks the confidence to go after the girl he's probably wanted for a while, even you've sensed it. Maybe it's the guy that's been watching you and didn't think you saw him looking, asking questions about you, happening to be exactly where you are, at exactly when your there. It's becoming too much to be coincidence.....and you finally give in.

Rather than face up to his fear of rejection. Mr absolutely spineless decides the best thing to do is to slate you. After all if you feel small about yourself, maybe you'll feel small enough to date him...WRONG!!

There is nothing more cringe worthy than a guy like this. Not only do you not respect him, but he actually doesn't respect himself. He's so riddled with insecurities, he's such an advert for aself slander campaign, that after a while it becomes clear to you, a guy with this much of an inferiority complex, not only should he not be given the time of day. He should be avoided like the plague, he is what is known as an energy stealer, an emotional succubus. This is the type of guy that wont actually have the guts to tell you he likes you, would like to date you, would like to be given a chance. Instead he let's the opportunities pass to other guys with nicer personalities, more self esteem, more confidence, happier within themselves, and will spend the rest of the time slating you to as many people that will listen. The only problem is. With time he will begin to incriminate himself. People will begin to wander, if you are as ugly, vile just unappealing in general, how has he managed to pay so much attention to who your dating, seeing, talking to. Even ridiculous things like what your wearing. If he doesn't care so much, why is he beginning to sound so bitter? People will start to question the motive, and why is the reaction so dramatic. Sometimes in life it is not the things that we say, it is the things that we don't say that reveal all. Those who know us well, or those who are observant, can pick up things that we think were hiding so effectively from others. For example we find ourselves wondering why certain people choose to focus on us as targets to vent out their frustrations. You may have done something to piss someone off but then you think to yourself wow it wasn't that bad. Well often times people have a lot of frustration and pent up aggression, that aggression needs a target. Wether it's anger, sexual aggression, sometimes we find that people relieve their frustrations not on the person who actually pissed them off, but the person who they see as a threat or competition in some way. The best way to deal with a competitive or over competitive person is take the game of competition away.  They have this hungry need to compete with you and it's the only way to validate themselves.

If you find that you are in a scenario where the guy you thought you liked not only showed himself to be spineless, but immaturely a bit of a bully, or emotionally abusive in some way. It's not normal. Tv shows sometimes cutify this and express it as, well this guy is doing this because it's the only way to get your attention, it's pulling pigtails syndrome. Actually, it's not cute. Most of the time when it's happening, you end up feeling quiyte small, then are kind of furious to think that in which paralell universe. Which warped existence or dating manual does it say ridicule someone and forever and ever, and ever, they will be yours. A smart girl with self esteem says "you wanna play it like this....fine, i'll date someone else that respects me. Likes or loves me for who i am."

Establishing your ideals

image by hexdeflective

Ideals are such beautiful things. We dream of the holidays we'll go on , the cars we'll drive, the houses we'll live in. Coulds instead of shoulds. For our ideals to be realised it takes hard work. Hard work not glory work. Hard work is the work you get on with privately. Work that doesn't need a voice box. When I was younger even sometimes at present, I think the more you talk about it, whistle and sing; the more it gets accomplished. Here's a painful reality, talking isn't doing. Nobody is going to hit that goal, and do the work for you. The universe is testing us, she wants to see wether were all show and no go. If you are, or you have been. It's time to make a change. Then again, everybody in life has been a hypocrite. We talk out of our own excitement. Talking consistently about something, doing nothing about it, will ensure that nothing gets done. Commitment is realising that whilst your gruelling away you wont get that pat on the back. Sometimes you may be struggling on a product, and find that your being called a looser, being put down, made to feel small, inadequate, inferior. Yet in your heart you know that you are pushing and striving away. One day, that work will come to fruition. That hard work you put in that nobody saw, nobody respected, nobody got, will work out, and you will be filled with pride because you accomplished something spectacular.