when your dating crazy

There's a book called what seems like crazy on a......no ain't nothing cute about crazy. There's a difference between having mental health problems, and being bat shot crazy to garner as much attention as possible. My argument is this. The morons who act foolishly, forcefully discredit their sanity in order to be hailed with such terms as, " wow your crazy," to " wow your nuts!!" People are very diplomatic, and have a habbit of telling us what we want to hear. The psychotic individual through a series of foolish behaviours wants to be known as wild uninhibited, free, so moron why not simply have your friends call you an eccentric. I recently came across a guy with so much bitterness, jealousy and no self esteem whatsoever. Unaware that I knew his obsession with me was verging on insane, and a thorough lack of confidence, he became worse as the years went by. Desperate to alienate me in a sense so he could have and control me all to himself, manipulate others, abuse and bully me. He was older than me, yet had this sadistic obsession with me and everything I came into contact with. I'd often wondered once upon a time why he seemed so separate from moving things, lost, alien in happiness, when God sends you a message about someone heed it. Clearly, he was someone the universe had decided didn't deserve to be happy, upon acknowledging the company he kept I realised why. This was someone who was cursed by their own cruelty and malice , watch out for those who are desperate to compete with you or others around you in an unhealthy way. They want to control the people you have access too, what you wear, who you talk to, most of all how you invest your time. I hate to be brutal but people like this don't deserve to be happy, because no one around them actually is. They are beyond emotionally exhausting, draining, yet what we realise as the saga continues is how deadly they are to both yours and their pieces of mind, you see what they do to you, they do to themselves.Therefore they retain orbit around their own misery. Despite many protests that he would never go near a lady as myself, I was too imperfect in some way, he continued to actively sabotage any relationships I tried to get into. The happier I was, the more rejected he felt. The more my attention was elsewhere,the more he'd feel he had run out of narcissistic supply. Everything done became about proving to me how strong he was, how attractive he was, how he was the catch. This personality trait is identified as narcissism. Crazy is as crazy does, just make sure your not part of it.

Run

If you could run 
From yourself 
How far would you get, 
Would you recognize 
You hadn't gone far enough 
Yet, 
Till your shadows 
Behind you, 
And your thoughts 
At your side 
Where could you go, 
And where would you hide 
Go on, 
I swear, 
I dare you 
To run like the wind 
Run with a fire, 
Run with the fuel 
Of the belief 
That you could escape 
From the one person; 
Yourself, 
Run 
Burn some energy, 
But you'll spot you in a crowd 
In a quiet corner 
When everything else is loud 
Run I tell you, 
How many states did you get, 
Until you realise 
You hadn't gone far enough yet

Written by Otatade Iseghohi Okojie

The jealous jinx: When jealousy is getting in the way of your friendship

image by hetherz


First you must understand which I never did. This isn't about you as a person. This is about what she/he feels they are missing, qualities they feel they lack within themselves. People who are not at your level will try to desperately claw at you, and bring you down to their lower level. Jealousy is about insecurity. It is about low self esteem. If someone is being cruel, malicious, and you haven't done anything to them, then it is all about envy. You cannot take that envy from them. It is an inferiority about what they feel is absent. You need to build up what is present within you, so you can raise your game to the highest level. A jealous person needs to see you in the pits because that's where they are. The more miserable you are, the happier they will feel. The less you achieve the less of a threat you'll be, and you will be less competition.

focus on your abilities and what you can do. Build yourself up, smile. The more they try and tear you down, the harder you need to focus on building yourself up. If their envious because they lack confidence and your outgoing, bubbly, sociable and have many friends, don't give into their envy. Continue to build those social skills. Laugh, smile, invite, new, and more people to you, you are clearly inviting, continue to be warm. If your attractive, continue to take pride in who you are, your appearance, your style, your beauty, your stunning looks, if it attracts the opposite sex 'go you' you are attractive that's not a crime. Celebrate who you are. Jealous people are terrified of you shining, don't just shine, beam, go on full blast, be epic, because you have something to be in awe of. Yet don't be ego maniacal, build up those around you advise them on confidence classes, tips, cool things, they can do to also build themselves up.  Yet if you find yourself associated to people who don't want to grow, who want to continue to stay in a negative pattern, and drag you down.....you need to either emotionally detach or socially detach. Bring yourself to your highest level of excellence.

Notice key things

Noticing a friend who never seems to be happy for you,  they want what you have but they dislike you for having it.

They try and secretly alienate other people from you, by spreading gossip or telling half truths because their jealous and envious.

Be who you are. One of the many mistakes I made with jealous friends was not acknowledging my qualities and let my confidence get battered, before from being, loud, bubbly, outgoing, fun, smiley, I let a completely jealous insecure person  encourage me to become more introverted because it made them feel better about themselves. I was aware they were discontent and completely miserable

Be who you are
Don't get manipulated

What do you perceive to be the real reason's behind the jealousy?
What are the actual reasons behind the jealousy?
Communication is key, if you can't communicate, then create distance. There are certain types of people that you may love key qualities about them so if you can talk to them, tell them how you feel, tell them how it's affecting you, if their negative behaviour persists, begin to spend more time with people who wont turn everything into a competition.

If you care about them and you know it's a friendship worth working on and you understand their just going through a tough time, be supportive, but do not be a slave to someone else's inferiority complex. You have your own life, and that will always need your attention.

The chink in a challenges armour

image by MikeSchwarz

Facing a challenge is like a marathon. Yet in any race there are different athletes. Some athletes take the home stretch and power through till they collapse near the end with exhaustion, others pace the track, strategy heavy on their mind. Whatever your strategy or style one things certain, you are determined to get to that finish line, wether you walk, run, or crawl, you can visualise yourself at the end of it all, so why not go for it.

The only thing holding us back is often our fear. Has fear got a hand on your shoulder? It's not there to support you, it's there to disarm you.Tap inside that greater power, look deep within yourself. The next element we need we often have, we just are not looking closely enough.

Research is the key to any calamity. Meditate on New ideas, relax yourself before planning them out. Intimidating yourself with overwhelming pressure, will not be useful to you.