Grief and Growth: Moving on from lost friendships

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Loosing a best friend can be even more heartbreaking than loosing a boyfriend. Especially when you have to cut them out of your life because they have become too toxic. It is the pain of loss, and sometimes the grieving process can take years. Our emotions can creep up on us like samurai ninja's, slashing at emotional stability, because it's something that hurts.

Key things to remember don't get mad at yourself for not getting over it quickly enough. It hurts. It sucks, it's raw pain.
Go out often, network, socialise, meet new people. Go to events, parties. If you feel like being mellow write out your feelings, chill out, read a book, get in touch with old friends to reconnect. Be sure, the pain will still sneak up on you from time to time, memories, glimpses of the laughter you shared. Just remember though, you are moving on, and they wont always just disappear. Grief is still grief. Any pain can be used as a weapon of motivation. Channel it and be strong.

Point of Projection

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Projection is a powerful source of miscommunication. Sometimes we can place the burden of our emotions on someone else, creating scenes or feelings they might be feeling. We have all been there, where someone feels, vulnerable, or insecure in someway, and they say the souce of their discourse began with you. I.e that person who gets threatened when any woman even his own sister looks at their boyfriend, and they call you posessive. The person who calls you ugly yet feels inadequate when their walking the streets on their own. How about that individual who goes out of their way to make you feel like a nobody when they haven't actually accomplished much in their own lives, or are constantly complaining to others about how discontent they feel about their lives. Are you really going to let people like this make you feel small? Turn you into a shell or a crumb of yourself, i seriously doubt it. They may choose to put the weight of their insecurities upon your life, but if  it's not you, it'll be someone else. It's because its not personal, it's an issue within them. We've all dealt with people like this, and we've all been people like this. They are going through something. Sometimes the haze of pain blocks out everything else. We can have empathy, which is hard to do when your the target, or you can simply come to the conclusion within yourself, this isnt about me....it's about you. I will keep my distance and build myself up. I do not need negative influences in my life. Outside of our family, we can choose how close we let others get to us. Choose the right friends, companions,and positive role models.
 Pay attention to what's actually going on, not just what someone else is