condemning the cowards

What makes a coward? A selfish person who wont deal with their unresolved issues. A discontent manipulator who is too involved in your life, to want to deal with the discontent in theirs. A man who feels brave enough to take on a woman but never has the backbone to face men his age. Someone who spends time looking for the trouble of those who they believe are weaker than them. Those who can never take responsibility for their poor actions. Those who do malicious things and try and jusify them to themselves, choosing to ignore the balance of right and wrong, those who neeeeeeeed to be the centre of attention constantly, as though the world needs to revolve around them. The forever victim, No one needs people like this in their lives. Life is hard enough.

Real respect

image by Canoneos

I once took a risk on someone and watched in awe as they showed themselves to be everything i actually found unappealing in a person. Dishonest, manipulative, cruel, sadistic. What i had offered as kindness was used as a platform to ridicule me in an attempt to appear more appealing to others, and in their very insecure maner....make people stay. Make people find them funny, or likable, attractive in some way, and the more i tried to move forward from the mistake of such a bad choice, the same person that had tried so intensely to ruin my reputation, became jealous, and was actually investing more time to show themselves more toxic. From allowing myself to be wound up , getting angry, becoming furious, it became clear to me, the sadness of the choices they were making. How pathetic it was that they had to stoop so low in order to try and get others to stay, ultimately those people would leave anyway. They would require someone with more confidence, more adventure, more stories to tell, more of a likability factor. When you love yourself you have more to share than the flaws of others.I realised that i was better than such poor behaviour. There is an old saying i used to tell someone close to me, "sadly the bad one's always come back", they are like a revolving door, and are often deluded enough to think despite treating you so poorly you have such little respect they can gain entrance. Time soon comes. The same people who merrily tear you down will be eager to talk to you, or curious about the intricacies of your life. I've learnt with age that when people are hostile to you.....dramatically, and it is unprovoked, they are often hostile with an agenda. The more he ridiculed and belittled me with those around him to support his envy and that of others, i reminded myself that i wasn't a revolving door. We make a choice, to treat others with respect, and to ask the right qestions when we sense there is something amiss. Love yourself no matter what, you are worthy of the utmost respect. You are worthy of love, friendship, companionship, and most of all people who don't specialise in trying to use you as a platform to gain negative kudos.If they respected themselves they wouldn't have to stoop so low.

Lies for the Languid: How to spot an easy liar

image by Apokryphia art

I recently had an experience where someone who I thought was an honest person began to lie, consistently. Along with their lies came their justifications, came their aggression, and what lurked within the sheets of a warped elongated tongue. Fear. Exposing a liar, is in those seconds of miniature expressions. Those things that a keen eye cannot miss. "I didn't take the money," they argue aggressively, their tone is defensive, saying don't push this, their eyes dart towards an exit looking for a potential escape. It's in the crevices of body language, and the throbbing of your gut instinct. The friend who says their happy you've just landed your dream job, then dismisses further chatter or excited banter about it, eager to focus on a past mistake you made. Or decide to make you feel insecure by going for a topic of discussion in your social group that either makes you feel alienated or has you feeling as though your barefoot walking on hot glue. What about that friend who says she's happy your new boyfriend and you got together but spends most of her time flirting with him or discussing your other exes to make them feel uncomfortable, or question you in some way.

There are different types of liars. Some liars are very strategic, tactical, and manipulative. One thing is guaranteed, in time with all liars, the more you collect fabrics of the story, the more none of it will add up. There will be holes in their story. Their reactions to certain incidences and their behaviour wont add up.

There will be a drawn out silence, some liars actually by instinct elongate the mouth a little, in a curved smile. Liars are the bane of every principled person's existence. Some liars lie so regularly and so effectively you actually believe their lies are genuine. The false victim who is actually winding up someone till the person lashes out.
Sadly some liars are so good at telling lies, they should get an Oscar for it. Pay attention to body language. Someone who lies yet looks away
A mini expression
A diversion of eye contact
Backtracking
Stories that just don't add up
A dramatic reaction to something minor. Ask the liar the same question at a later date, in a more relaxed tone. When the liar feels they are less under surveillance, they wont stutter or stammer, they will just reproduce the story in a completely different format. Key things to do when sensing someone is lying to you is act completely natural and calm. Learn the art of hiding your true hand until your ready, this means, not narrowing your eyes, not turning a simple conversation into an aggressive interrogation. If you have a boss that tends to lie and be deceptive, with certain people you may need to document or even record what they say because their agenda is not just to backtrack but could actually be more sinister than that.

Grudge grippers:Letting go of a grudge

image by Ladynatthz



Letting things go Is officially one of the hardness things to do in history. Forgiveness takes a mighty strength. Hate is like arsenic to the walls of our hearts, it shreds us to mere particles, we become less than who we thought we were. There are many justifications for hatred. You become disgusted by someone for so long. The sound of their voice, the way they walk, their gutlessness or the cruel malice behind the things that they do. Those filthy agenda's which no one else can seem to see. Hatred can consume you, and become the very air that you breathe. I was once disgusted by someone, whose poor behaviour I knew stemmed from their own insecurities. I remembered once when I was younger I had confided in them about the pain in my heart. I was like a butterfly with a damaged wing, even I had to check emotionally if I was still breathing. I was older now I walked with confidence and pride, despite life's little scars, or the emotional javelins that were thrown at me. I found a way to be happy but most of all for sometime I became very popular. This person wasn't happy in their skin. They pretended often and lied a lot. They'd have petty reactions to seeing me like slamming the door in my face, spreading rumours, spiteful gossip and complaining about me and those close to me. They'd go as far as crossing the street. It was during a tough time in my life, and maybe some poor behaviour which I should have passed over and plain old ignored planted a seed of fury in my heart. I began to retaliate myself with vicious words of my own. For I had realised two things. When I had confided in that person about so much pain, I was young and not fully developed yet. Now that I was older I was told that I was attractive, beautiful sometimes, and had curves, but also the attention of someone close to them. Jealousy in spades. I realised then how cruel and manipulative someone can be, a woman who'd spent a lifetime being ignored and not being given attention, or feeling taken for granted by those she loved had turned rotten, cruel and competitive. I tell this story because loneliness can turn us into toxic versions of ourselves. Hatred will do the like. Insignificant, insecure people will always try and pull you down.

The reality is if it's not a problem with you, it will be a problem with someone else. Trying to make people feel small makes them feel better about themselves. Often it's because their envious of you, their unhappy,other times it's because they want your attention and can see that as the only way to get it. Most of the time it's because they've been through a lot of shit and are venting. Be the celebrity that you are, shine and freeze negative people out. Someone i know once said to me if the haters hate, give them more to hate about.
Keep your distance and stay away from negative toxic people. Their a virus who have already infected themselves why should they get to infect you too.