The Bitch and the Basketcase: Stepping away from a toxic headcase

image by oudemia

Head cases are hard to get your head around. In some instances their an absolute joy to be around, likable, charismatic, charming, sadly in the other instances their either competitive, jealous, toxic, or eager to nip and drag at your self esteem. The more miserable they are, the more your confidence is set to take a nose dive, without a doubt your friend, family member, or associate is on another emotional rollercoaster, and your for the lo jacking.

a) Understand that it's actually not personal. We are our energy. They feel crappy, therefore this crappy version of themselves needs some crappy company. You upbeat just makes them feel like their lacking or inadequate in some way. How come you can be happy , and they cant.

b) Gage their mood. It's great to be a good friend give good advice and be supportive, but you are not their saviour and you are not their emotional punching bag. If you find that your in a pattern where your friend seems to just call you up to dump more emotional baggage, and tell you what's wrong with the world and what's wrong with you. Sorry but you will be a good listening ear. You will give advice briefly, point them in direction of positive feedback books, motivation, a counsellor maybe, or if you can help be supportive. Yet if you notice their pattern is to look for what's negative in other people and focus on what's wrong with you. Sorry, you don't need your energy being drained down the toilet, the problem isn't anyone else it's your friend.

c) If you feel guilty about lying about being unavailable, get on meetup, create some events and classes, and positive affiliation opportunities for you to meet with more like minded, positive centred people.  This is mainly if they are the type of person who tries to drag you down. This can be minor digs , put down's around friends, things they do to make you feel small because they feel inadequate.

Our self esteem and piece of mind is very valuable, it draws people to us. Or drives them away. If you have a negative energy around you because someone else is a sack of negative energy desperately trying to pull you down,  you will find it hard to keep the right people close. Keep positive people around you and positive energy around you.

Distancing yourself from a toxic person doesn't mean being cruel, or telling everybody how much of a nightmare they actually are, it just means focussing on your strengths, and building yourself up.

The sin of unrequited love: How to get over it

It sucks when the object of your affection is constantly rejecting you, infact it bites. How do you get over those compulsive moments of daydreaming, mental exhaustion from over analysing how every sign, or body language reflects a hidden passion?

Accept that it's not in your control. No matter what you do in life, you cannot control someone's attraction to you. Acting this way or that doesn't guarantee you'll be their perfect match. Infact sometimes the more perfect you make yourself seem to someone, the more they may subconsciously retreat.

For the record there are billions of people on Earth. Out of those billions there's bound to be someone else who rocks your both, and who is convinced you turn their world upside down. Infact it's a known fact that the more you focus on building your self esteem, making yourself emotionally available for others to get close to, which includes socialising with friends and potential partners.I personally don't believe in frustrating your eggs in one basket. It's literally sin, to keep one person on a pedastal whilst you close your window to others who might be twice as eager for the chance to get to know who you are, ad celebrate that. Ask yourself a key question, if you were a hero or a heroine in a big blockbuster movie would you want them to go out with a bang, or would you want the movie to finish with them sobbing in their soup. You decide.

(images by Dragonae and Trocloc)