Leading from loosers

image from saveto76.blogspot.com

I recently typed in how to deal with a jealous person, then I corrected myself. We do not need to waste precious time on people who themselves are emotionally rotting away. They are jealous because they are unhappy. They are mean because they are unhappy. They are cold because they are unhappy, and they are bitter because...they are unhappy. If you find yourself being the target of someone's specialist subject, the 'object' of ridicule, a hot topic for gossip, ask yourself a simple question. Why am I so significant to this person's life. Why do they need to hide behind me to cover up the fact, that they can't take responsibility for their own life. Mistakes, poor choices. Leave them to continue rabbiting on about you whilst you focus on building up your own life. Focus on trying to be happy.

One thing I will guarantee you, is that it will be hard. But if you focus on building up what you do over what they say. Your light will continue to burn bright. You may find that people who seemed nice enough but are weak enough characters will quickly turn, they'll notice you've gone quiet, and because their weak people continue to be drawn to the stronger party. Focus on you, on your progress, on your growth and let negative people entertain themselves.

How to stop beating up on yourself

image by Kefirux


In this lifetime you will make mistakes. Mistakes that embarrass you, mistakes that damage your name, reputation, and sometimes even friendships and those we love. Lessons are always painful, but we need to learn them. We need to discover the most important thing of all, a bounce back mentality. Taking responsibility after you've made a mistake. Yet still claiming your victory. It's easy to beat yourself up constantly recycling the old measures and bad choices of the past. You did them. It's done now. It's time to move on. It's time to just be free of wounds that continue to chorus and persecute you. Yet when you step out into the street, every face you see, everywhere you go, there will be people that have made the same mistakes as you. Some have made even worse, some just keep making mistakes over and over and over again.

In life we come across people who judge others harshly. They live in immaculate glass houses and they don't throw stones, but boulders. That adds to us judging ourselves so intensely, determined to be perfect creatures. There is no such thing as a perfect person. Perfect people do not exist. Infact our flaws make us interesting. Our mistakes give us a story to tell. Stop beating up on yourself, you dont deserve it.

Life:The teacher with the stick (Embracing painful lessons)

Life dolls out lessons.
Painful lessons that end up in self blame or us blaming other people. Throughout much of my pain especially with dating, or partners, even friendships. The message was, value yourself. Respect yourself, admire yourself. It's a lesson that takes a life time to sink in. It's a lesson that takes much analysis, over analysis, projection, draining. It's an exhausting lesson. It's hard to play the blame game on yourself, especially when someone has acted appaulingly to you. Take responsibility for your choice, and your agenda. It's tough, many times in life we find ourselves knowing what to do and ending up hypocrites. Remember this though, it was a lesson learned. For example that painful experience with a guy that pretended to be Mr wonderful, who hurt your feelings and lowered your self esteem, you've seen what you need to see. He can never approach you pretending to be Mr nice Guy, those rose tinted glasses are gone, that guy who seemed to spend a lifetime trying to get your attention and when he got it acted like an arsehole, will think twice before approaching you again, the guy who appeared to like you then began to loose interest as soon as others started whispering in his ear, will think twice before desperately hunting you down. You would have changed, you will have something he can never grasp, confidence and self respect. He will look but think twice about touching, will gaze but even the concept of speaking to you, will terrify him, because you have changed. Your stronger, more confident in yourself, happier and completely unavailable. The sad thing about guys like this is that some of us are actually stupid enough to try. Women i've spoken to have often cracked this joke, 'they always come back,' because sadly some guys who seem to have crawled out of the dirt, become drawn to you once more. When they see that they've lost you. All your attentions, and your affections, or there's a possibility they could. Do not be swayed by sulking, or words with cinnamon and honey, the fantasy of who they were has changed, the reality of who they are lives on. Embrace the lesson even if it's painful, the universe is trying to tell you something.

image by (proud of being strange)

Ditching the dating Blame game

Unintelligent Cringe worthy So not my type, Jerk....as I scribbled another list of why I should move on from the wrong guy, feelings of pain and bitterness etched in my heart, I realised something. I could spend a lifetime pointing the finger and insulting the guys I'd made the mistake of showing affections, or I could take responsibility for the poor choices I was making. I chose them. Despite knowing in my spirit these guys weren't for me, they were not guys who would respect me because they didn't especially have much respect for themselves. Life was teaching me a lesson. I could either rot where I was and end up bitter and twisted or embrace a key message, there was a lesson to learn here. Value yourself, respect who you are, and celebrate the positive choices you've made within your life. This is your life and no one else's.

You are bound to make mistakes.There is no such thing as an immaculate human being. We are all deliciously flawed.The importance of mistakes are the potent lessons we learn from them.I learned to choose who i give my time, attentions,affections too more wisely.I learned to pay more attention to character, rather than a sweet tongue, or some pretty eyes. Judge judy once said beauty fades but dumb is forever.Translated? Prize yourself.It's not ego or arrogance, it's a message that speaks volumes, you want my respect? EARN IT.Every so often you'll make a bad choice, take responsibility for it and move on. image from the texas tribune