Fine tuning ourselves out of funk:

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Stop telling yourself that you can and you will control everything. Sometimes in life there are things that we will not be able to control. When I was younger. I used to believe that everything was black and white, simple, things had the boxes they slid in between. Black and white good or bad, nice and nasty. Yet if everything was so organised.....nobody would have written the book when bad things happen to good people. We learn that we are reactors, and how we choose to deal with a situation, defines who we are and ultimately who we become. Years of anger can turn to bitterness....wasted energy. Feelings of fear mean avoidance and missed opportunities. You have but one life to live. Try your best to live it with joy. Write a list of positive things you will say to yourself every morning, positive choices, and positive celebrations. There is no one else like you on Earth. Affirm your success, affirm your progress, and focus on change and growth.

Friending up the Frenemy: Tired of playing fiend with the foe

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Friending up the foe will be hard work. They will have trust issues, after all how would you feel if you're enemy suddenly started being nice, you'd wonder what exactly they want first of all. You'd be suspicious, cautious, wonder why captain cruel has become captain charisma. It may be a long arduos process, or you may find that you click after a few sessions of bonding.

Pay attention to them. What are their likes? Dislikes? Little things, Birthdays so you can say Happy Birthday.
Even things like acknowledging their star signs and sharing star sign info
Compliment them, loud enough for them to hear or do some thing nice and say something nice that will get back to them
Defend them against someone cruel who is spreading malicious gossip about them
Share something with them,
Create a  habbit of saying good morning, good evening, and good afternoon to them
If you have any information that might be useful pass it towards them, or someone related to them
Be friendly to someone they know, so they can go back and tell that person how nice you are.
Smile often
Give them an invite somewhere exclusive. For example if your having a drink up at your house, if your having a party, if you and some friends are going to the cinema, or going to
Make them laugh, a joke always breaks the ice
Apologise and clear the air if deep down you know you were wrong for certain things

You guys will not be Bessie mates instantly...but if you try not to be needy. You focus on your own life and just doing your own things, showing your sociable, likable and friendly, you will draw them in like a magnet. If their agenda is to stay angry, stay bitter, and enjoy the lack of benefits it brings, let them reap their own miserable reward.

Reason and Respect

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We have to find ways to validate who we are, respect ourselves and honour our own existence; If you are someone who falls under the sweet spell of flattery too easily, beware.. A poison tongue is on it's way. Words have power. And if you let other people's words control you, they will mold you into something you don't recognise. When I was younger I had two female friends who I'll never forget. They were attractive young women who got quite a bit of male attention. They had both been comfortable with me in a supportive role, being a shadow whilst they were allowed to shine and show the best of themselves, counsel them about everything in relation to men, basically be the friend that helps them dissect and overanalyse everything, yet when there was a shift and I wanted to focus on my own life, and fix some of the problems that had arisen, there became a problem.

So long as i wasn't getting attention everything was fine. If i went ignored or they sensed i was rejected in some way, there was a sort of relief that they shared. It was only years later that i realised both these two women had been jealous of me. Despite their own qualities and their own strengths. At the time one of my supposed friends drove a sports car, she'd climbed to an upstanding position in her job, and when we were out she got a lot of male attention. Yet i would consistently recieve these stinging biting remarks, and every so often a stranger would come along and actually compliment me. The looks i'd recieved from her, or the scathing comments, were enough to make me run a million miles. In true form as well people like this, they'll put you down, ridicule you, belittle you, until you dont trust them. The irony is, they actually want you to like them, and they want you to trust them. They actually want to be close to you. Who knows why? Maybe your a nice person and you have a kind heart, maybe your popular and outgoing, laugh easily, are fun, bubbly, and likable, are confident.There's something about you that makes them draw near. Focus on building your self up. Fix your focus.

Naughty vs Nice: Nice guy nausea...Do girls really just go after bad boys

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aurora demasi Girls don't go after nice guys, because nice guys are too nervous to ask them out? Nice guys are too nice? Too easy to leave....give me a break....Pish Posh, i read something like this in a series of articles where guys have harped on as to why women abandon them for mr hot and nasty. I know...Let's play the chameleon game. How about sometimes those 'nice' guys are not what they seem, and even more delicious, Mr nice can turn out to be Mr nasty. Some women tend to chase the hope of a good guy, no one wants to believe they made the wrong choice, and went for the wrong character. Captain charisma who turns out to be nightmare on elm street Neil. There seem to be all these generalised posts online telling men, that if your nice, you'll be walked all over, stamped on. So much lovely advice only leads to delinquent dating. You get genuinely good guys, some even slightly geekish, catch a chinese whisper and the next thing you know Mr nice is behaving like Mr nasty. Just for the record people generally go after people they are attracted to. There are some strategically dysfunctional females out there, yet there are also men who find a woman, that can care for them, love them, support them, be a partner and everything in between....some of them run for the hills, that's way dating subscribtions have quadrupled, and self help dating guides become blockbusters. People make choices not simply based on who they are now, but the version of themselves they came from. Energy has a lot to do with it, attraction, but most importantly self esteem. There are an army of stunning women with gorgeous looks and gorgeous personalities going after "Mr nice" because they had a positive male role model in their childhood and they want consistency because they've built up their confidence are goal orientated and know what they want. There are also women who are drawn to the big mouth with the bad ideas.Ultimately i've been there you end up regreting it.So if you have a best friend that's spitting poison in your ear, wether your a man or woman....acting like an arsehole wont do the trick