Storm Clouds in Fiction

 

Storm cloud

Once we were fiction
Caught in the rough
Distilled in a poem
Broken enough
These words 
They would chide 
Us
Our season so dim
Hack us to pieces 
Making us thin
I stand on an Island
Caught in a  war
Reaching out to your 
Fiction
Thats bleeding me raw

Now we are fiction

Soon we are smoke

What was this love?

I cannot cope

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By Otatade Okojie

 

Tastebud

Run with wolves
Let your hair
Fly freely
There is a spark
Of electricity
between your fingertips
A salsa in your hips
Magic on your tongue
You are young
Still
baptise yourself
In the warmth
Of the Sun
Love is a tastebud
Swallowing
You
Whole

Inside his head

I thought about the perfect things to say. Sharp, polite , precise sentences, that roll in our heads. I see you in my minds eye, perfect as you are, a vision to escape to. The man with the heavy voice and the soft brown eyes. Capture me in the moistness of all your selves,an identity sandwiched, secreted in layers of fear. I am lost in you, yet searching me. We wake up in separate places.

This is you

I stood still, 
for you 
Time couldn't, 
She's like clockwork. 
You're not. 
I've wasted 3,656 days on you 
Work it out 
It's a troubling equation 
An ideal, 
Holding idealist hostage 
A crack heads illusion, 
Tainting realities fate, 
Hope was brown eyes, 
Sparkling with charisma 
You were the speech, 
The gypsies promised. 
You were the speech
The gypsies promised 
We dreamt of things 
United in our failure 
A fading bliss 
The world would punish 
We left salt in our mouths. 
We left salt in our mouths 
We marched corners of 
A postcard 
Grinding our teeth 
Roaring oxygen out 
Clothes have been folded 
For over a year 
Folded clothes have been here 
for over a year 
I hold my breath, 
You have nothing left, 
This is the you 
I should have met.

Written by Otatade Iseghohi Okojie

Yours

Do not condemn me, 
For being in love, 
I have lingered beside you, 
Till my bones rot in the tearful snow, 
I have stroked you in the moonlight, 
Glared at you in the sunlight, 
You, 
My love, 
Are my every conversation, 
When the world fades, 
And the busy disappear, 
We will be alone, 
Together and pointless, 
Beyond the stars 
We will exist; 
Amongst the silence, 
Of it all; 
Do not condemn me; 
For falling in love; 
I have seen the concrete path 
Of confetti, 
The silhouette of a wedding dress, 
And the smoke 
Of a receding car; 
I have seen children; 
Crying you to sleep; 
I have seen walks in the park 
Of a crisp dry autumn; 
Let me hold your hand 
In this passing time; 
Moments are far gone 
To cry now, 
But a broken heart weeps 
Like a hungry dog, 
I have lit a candle 
For your every dream, 
And lay you down 
Beyond my loneliness, 
I have emptied the 
Bodies, 
In your Paradise, 
Simply because 
I am yours.

Written by Otatade Iseghohi Okojie

Erodyte

Dynamic is such a simple word
I paint the sky with all your flaws
In the oven
Must I bake
Those question marks
Upon mistake
For squandered beauty
Hence is lost
We walk the mines
Just because
These broken stars
This midnight moon
Dynamic
Is a word too soon.

otatade iseghohi-okojie

Scapes

Slinky eyes
and bedroom talk
All our fears
They take a walk
Shadowed corners
Private Scapes
From this trap
Ones no escape
You are self
and self as I
My morning juice
My lullabye

Quest for love

image by Tealove

A quest for love

We search within

We perch on

Tins 

Of broken dreams

The chain of life's

Evaluated obstacles

Questions that collide

With answers that refuse to reveal

Themselves;

This is life with stepping 

Stones;

Jump, leap , hop 

And strive towards freedom, 

A well of imagination

Of scribble pads, and romance books, 

We came we saw

We're eager and took.

A quest for love

We search within

Always to arise

and win.

Red ebony

Signs of a bitter ex: Absolutely hysterical!!

This is absolutely hysterical, i almost wet myself laughing....so true to life.

Other people's insecurities

image by:ineedahero




Sometimes we get led on by other peoples insecurities. A guy whose got low self esteem may see he's getting attention from a girl / woman he's not actually interested in. A woman may go on a series of dates after an epic breakup with a guy she's not especially interested in. Everybody wants to feel wanted, sadly some of us go about it the wrong way. If we can't get the affections for the person we like, we make the mistake of settling for the wrong person. When you find yourself being the wrong person, painful as it is, you had a lucky escape. Who wants a lifetime of excuses, playing second fiddle in a life that could be better.Could be happier. The question we have to ask ourselves is, not how much do we love them? Or how much do they love us ? How much of our own personal happiness are we willing to sacrifice on someone that's not even vaguely sure.

Realising Love

image by raven 529

It's easy to escape into the mystique of romance novels. We meet out captains there, kings, companions, and thrash out more pages hungry for more romantic idealism. Yet we stumble out of those pages into real life not knowing precisely what we are looking for. When love; Real love, with real partners who are looking towards a functional relationship come knocking sometimes we turn them away. Hungry for the hurricanes we read in books which convinced us, love had to be drama central.

Love is real companionship. Real understanding. Someone who cares, takes the time to understand, listens to you and gives you honest feedback in return. Love is trust and effective communication. Yet the first relationship we often fail at, is the one where we have to love ourselves first. Learn to love yourself first. Until we love ourselves, we cannot love others the right way.

Luv this track: Shania Twain, looks like we made it

Quiztime for Love: Why your allowed to ask questions

Hypnotic. That feeling you have when you really like someone and they invite you into their world. It's like the high of being on a theme park ride. Exhilarating, scary, nerve wracking, exciting. Sometimes that magical mood overwhelms us, and we don't think with our rational thoughts. We don't ask key questions such as, is this person right for me? Will they value me as a partner? Are they loyal? Have they shown so far that they respect me? Am i looking for fun or am i looking for a future? Am I looking for something in this person that I can't find In myself?



Ask the questions you need to ask, it doesn't demolish the romance. It adds some structure where sanity can sometimes be missing. It also makes us more aware that any form of love, romance, passion, should be reciprocated, and when were paying attention, we can see when it's not. It saves the painful plummet of heartbreak, or the chaos that comes with mistrusting our choices and skills of perception . How much are these person's actions matching their words? Do they actually like me, or am i being led on by my own romanticism. For the record all passion has it's high's then pen ultimately....it's lows. Are these feelings you are brave enough to pursue. So far what are their actions telling you about their character....consistently?
image by Hyeedaa

Awesome movie:Ten tiny love stories

Ten tiny love stories...what a superbly written and directed piece. This is a series of monologues about sex, love, loss and the past. Director Rodrigo Garcia produced a masterpiece. With cast such as Lisa Gay Hamilton, Radha Mitchell, Alicia Witt, we dont get a hollywood blah production of life experiences, but the intricacies and the diverse voices that express real emotions. That life and love isn't just format, it makes you think that those polished women you see on the street, or people you wouldn't look twice at all have a story to tell. It's rawness, one ladies desperate attempt to sever her loneliness by giving a blind date Oral sex, it's pain, a woman who talks about her experience of loosing her virginity whilst in the process remembering loosing her mother. They are the words someone confides to a best friend, a peep hole into the secrets of the heart, it's passion, and it's dysfunction. Check it out, awesome movie

Dating as a minefield: Are you about to emotionally combust

Dating can feel like a minefield. Honestly there are thousands, no millions of does he like me, does she like me? Are these signs they find me attractive questions that bombard the internet daily. I have discovered with much trial and error, if someone is attracted to you, they could be the shyest man on Earth...they want you to know somehow. Those lingering stares are great, people who fancy you always want to be near you, even if there's just a hint of a possibility they might bump into you....They want to see that hair do, new outfit, say hi, or have a brief encounter that could be slightly prolonged. Some go as far as buying you gifts, or popping up everywhere you are, asking questions about you, inviting you to places, or the more confident of the bunch simply ask you for your telephone number, and guarantee you'll have the time of your life.

I've learned with much agony not every man or woman that gives you attention are the right partner for you. Beneath a hollywood smile could lurk hell on Earth, so choose carefully. The worst mistake is being so desperate not to be alone you fling yourself at the first guy/chick you see. Know which qualities you want, set your boundaries and decide what doesn't appeal to you. People forget the reasons they want to date, is because they want to be happy. Enjoy life, share themselves with someone. Dating and a relationship should not feel like a chore. We should at least experience some of the ideals we yearn for. It's a journey and an adventure. As much as you learn about your partner you begin to learn more about yourself. If you are seeing someone and it feels like a minefield watch out, you didn't start dating to emotionally combust.

image by Faylin
image by gilad

Drop dead dick donkey: How to get over a jerk

As much as i love the concept of karmic retribution, there's another concept i believe in which is that of loss and gain: What do i mean?Drop dead dick donkey. This means after a guy you like has humiliated you, ridiculed you, made you the butt of everyones joke, there's something else. When that laughter fades and that feeling of false heroism. Basically when all the attention runs out, because attention is like....soda, or a burger even...i cant believe i'm going there, but i am. The same things that person found attractive about you,may draw them curiously back to you again. That's right, they actually may have liked you. Maybe they weren't attracted to you, maybe there was some sort of connection there, or a potential friendship. Who knows don't play hard to get, play not to get. Whilst your licking your sorry wounds, train intensely. So you feel good in spirit and your body looks good in shape. Drowning yourself in self pity and garbage food wont leave you feeling good in the long run. Dont allow the person whose made you feel like crap be a double agent. That means being overly friendly, instantly returning text messages and phone calls, or being amused and pleased when they start lurking or shadowing you to get attention again. It's not a good thing.

They've shown you key things, they are nasty, weak, and their not a nice person. More importantly their duplicitous, they cannot be trusted. I mean seriously they can't even trust themselves to be strong. If their saying or showing one thing to you and saying really humiliating things to other people, not only do they not respect you, but they dont respect themselves. Their fake. And the last person you need is a fake armani for a gucci relationship.When we like someone we can provide a series of bizarre, deluded explanations for poor explanations. Their just confused, yet somehow they've made up their minds to boast about a series of flirtations with really uber fit individuals to their shy of their feelings, yet somehow bold enough to turn you and your feelings into a joke. Time to saddle that horse and move on to bigger, brighter, better pastures.Hit up your social network group, those gorgeous friends of yours that say all the right things. Or basically all the things that make you feel like an idiot for liking this person in the first place. Friends or even family members have a keen eye and come spot all the flaws you chose to ignore in your dream state of mind. Oh well, guess you've got a lot of socialising to do, and a lot of hot people to at least have aconversation with. Likes, dislikes, and if your interested dates,just a more positive energy, whilst you work on validating yourself.

You can do better, and the most messed up thing about guys/girls like this is they know it too. In true universe form, they become less interesting because ironically their selling point is played out. They recognise how fleeting and shallow the attention they got was, and it's back to the drawing board for them.It can begin with an apology, i just want to talk to you, a sudden show of friendliness, there's nothing wrong with being polite to someone like this, but keep it firm in mind they have no place but on the outskirts of your life. People like this can be quite manipulative and hold the carrot of "i wonder what we could have become," you wondered too, but now you have your answer. They can become whoever they want to become, you can continue being strong, happy, and positive.

The Semi Crush and I

My scenario with my semi crush has gotten so ridiculous, even i don't know what to do next. He liked me first, then acted like a prize idiot because someone close to him was implanting her own conscious poison,like a 3 course meal. For a while i think he's been wanting to talk to me, but i just ignore him. It's gotten so silly, that even when he's swerving his van, beeping his horn, waving, i completely blank him.It's not out of pride anymore, or even out of principle, it's fear and panic, and shyness and mistrust. If he hadn't chosen to be such a follower, despite knowing that i'm not a saint, but my family and i have always been kind and warm to him i think id be acting differently.

The shoes are now on the other foot, and unike him, i'm not acting cold, and unfriendly because someone whispered in my ear. The funny thing about crushes is we have scenarios and literally pole volt them out of proportion. It wouldn't surprise me if he's simply a guy wanting to say hi to his neighbour. Nothing more, nothing less. Sadly im a hopeless romantic and a writer. Life is a spectacle of drama. Bah humbug, maybe one day we'll both be comfortable enough to say hello, good morning, good afternoon, crack jokes like we used to. The frustration is that he's quite shy, and i never was towards him. Now there are two shy people attempting to communicate in the language of fear.

The moon and back (Short Story)

"It's very simple," i projected in my most smug adult tone. "Admit you're in love, crazy, smitten, hopelessly, painfully, ruthlessly in love with me." I fashioned myself to my full height, fixing my toddler hands against my hips, pouting watermelon and posing opposite an organised reflection. My brown hair fell loose, in a tangle of waves down my back, and the kiss of blue i added to heavy eyelids made the gold of my eyes shine like medallions. Teenage Fever. Last Week i'd hated Jason Emille cross, this week i'd studied him walk up and down our crowded school corridor for fifteen minutes. Analysed his discussion with Mickey Bults in front of Mrs Kafan's lunchtime vegetable spaghetti. I can lip read so across a twenty second distance i saw their mouths, rotate and halt.It was an intensely political debate about Xmen versus Batman, the original animation. I grit my teeth as Jessica Jones trotted by 'slag' swinging her huge buttocks from left to right, fully aware that 99.9% of the male eyes swam towards her. Hungry shark eyes. I patted my bum self consciously, noticing with a tinge of irritation that my denim stretch Jeans had too much stretch, and my pink t shirt didn't display succulent breasts, but an arrested development in growth. "Jeeze i hate being fifteen."
My friend Mia lifted her orange curls from the tray of glamour magazines lined on the bed. "Fuck i hate being fifteen,"
"Who needs teenage years anyway," her sapphire eyes spun with amusement.
"Seriously, all you do is analyse life, or spend time disecting guys you never gave the time too before," i groaned dramatically.It was like the groan you make with runs on the toilet seat. "When did this happen to me. I never..ever..liked this guy before,"
"Shit your obsessed with him now,"
"You call it obsession. I call it intense distraction." Mia fixed her mouth to a thin wire line. " It's the whole face stretching, tyranosaurus rex, height thing," i nodded in detailed agreement.
"Age is such a cunt. Why did his face have to stretch, and his voice have to break so deeeeeep," i remember Syrine Wilcox describing a conversation with him being like swimming in a bath of hot chocolate. It depends how you look at it. Hot chocolate makes some think of sex, whilst others just relate it to falling asleep. The worst thing about being a teenager is having to admit you'r just as shallow as everyone else. Suddenly a flood of girls admitted to liking him, and i didn't have to feel weird, or pretend to be angry when his bedroom eyes dripped all over me. On one School trip to 'make believe mars' an adventure to the local safari park, TOTAL SHIT, i'd actually spent the whole bus ride ice block frozen in the same pose. A vogue pout, which included an exclamation mark scowl, in case he knew....i'd begun to enjoy his heated stares. So much so that despite my jelly belly, and owl like frames, i had moved three seats closer in spanish, watched a complete season of xmen, and accidentally on purpose put his name down for school prefect. He didn't win. Yet some idiot had told him i put his name down. "Gina yax would never put me down she loathes me," he announced in a thick tone, loud enough for me to hear,and possibly contest. The room was busy with silence, eyes oohed and mouths mutely uhmmed. "Gina," he teased "i'm your biggest fan." Which translated means F you, i don't give a shit about your opinions.

"It's very simple," Jason Cross had cornered me by the edge of the basketball court, his lean frame a sky scraper, his magnetic eyes absorbing every flinch of movement. "Gina Gi you nominated me to be some stupid class prefect, you know i stare at you,"
i smiled coyly, "sometimes i wonder what your looking for." I flicked my crisp white watch pretending to be distracted. I had my red chequered mini skirt on, and the black polo neck my mum had kept, a gift from her latest divorce. "I guess..." he glanced up at the grey white sky briefly,the scene looked like a painting i'd seen on one of those free art websites. His expression intense, seemed to match the afternoon sky, his navy blue denim jeans, with fitted matching sweater, were almost a click match. Blue was his nervous colour. Every presentation he'd stammered through on Shakespeare, or economics he'd advertised how amazing navy blue could look on an image of raw beauty. I crossed my fingers anxiously behind my back, he soldiered on,smacking his tongue against a plump mouth, worshiping shuffling suede shoes every 3 minutes. I was counting mentally.
" well," he began in a flat lecture monotone "Jennifer Layman asked me out this morning. She says i was too shy to talk so she did it, and erm," he cleared his throat, "some crap about me being intimidated and bull. Like erm.." he paused to pull threads of thought together. "Like one of those guys whose scared of women."
"So?"
"In Laymans terms, i told Jen Layman, if i liked her enough i'd ask her out." I thought id quit biting my lips, but i could feel myself chomping them. "I think your pretty in that interesting way that not everybody likes,"

"Your basically saying i'm ugly." He shook his head adamnantly.
"I like the look of you. I'm not on any athletics team, or a zillionaire's son, i stare a lot," his gaze levelled and narrowed " and i think you like it." I scanned the growing audience ignoring helicopter whispers, and green eyed stared. "Get to know me? I'm not bad,er..will you go out with me?" he released in one full expulsion. It was like a drowning person expelling that belch of air and water. Moses Bright and the other players had clambered unto the b-ball court, spinning two red and white autographed balls as the coach bounded on screeching authourity through the high pitched shriek of a whistle. My heart leapt like a junior jumping skipping rope. I waved at my cousin kev, Mia's boyfriend that would be driving me home shortly. "Yeah Okay," i tossed cooly. "Where?"
"3 trips to the moon and back." He flashed a brilliant smile that made my whole body melt. "Yeah whatever, that pancake house right?" He shoved his hands in his pocket self consciously, "yeah."
"I like chocolate. I had a coffee pancake once." He quirked his brows in confusion. "Who does that?"
"Me i guess."

CRUSHES: the number 1 moment we fantasize about: Que Showreel

The most fantasized moment despite all illusions is not the sex, or even the Earthshattering, deeply moving, intense conversations. It is infact....the kissing. Have you ever accidentally watched your crushes mouth move and thought about how puuuuuuurfect their lips would be up against yours. Peach soft, tender, infact in our minds no crush has dry lips have you noticed. We imagine the movement of the kiss, slow and rhythmic, or rough and hungry. 'I am sooooo a hopeless romantic!!"  So for a breakfast special red ebony is giving it sweet and giving it loud. I found this on youtube....it's absolutely delicious, i had to share the love.