Distractions deceased

Don't let jealous people distract or throw you off your journey, you are ascending without their permission, insecure people love to be in control. It is easy to let small minded people and their hate, take over your line of vision, yet use their negativity as motivation. Confidence during any battle . Your biggest battle is with yourself, the illusion that you may fail before their eyes. The mighty have moments where they crumble, and they return to form. You are a jigsaw, locating all its missing pieces, this takes time . This takes vision, objectives and strategy, you don't have time for the chaos of someone else's disordered mind, you are still folding away your linen. It is easy to become distracted, it is easy to listen to the poison of others, every plant experiences shadow and every plant experiences light. You are healing, growing and returning to form.strengthen yourself with wisdom, challenge your insecurities with self belief. Fear is what the enemy feeds on, lunch is closed.

Fight for fun and fruitfulness

image by Mothykyuu

Fight for what you want. Go for it because you only live once. I'll say this a thousand times. It's weird that i say it so many times on redebony but it's the truth, so many people in life, live it afraid. They are in this natural passive state of fear, and their so used to being afraid sometimes they don't realise that is what their feeling. sometimes if you don't try. If you don't tap into the frequency of the explorer, you will not venture into the unknown and see what you need to see, find the answers you need to find, know what's right for you or who is right for you. It's so easy to slump back in life and let everybody else live, because were just so scared to do. Scared of being judged. What will other people think of us? Lets rise above what they think? Decide that it's not about what they think, or who they are. We respect ourselves, lets continue to do that. And not let envious people rotten with their own inferiority complex , try and drag you through the mire of their own pain. Focus on fighting for what you want. Focus on fighting for who you are, and refuse to let anybody steal your joy, and take your strength from you. Remain focussed on your goal.

Jinx in the Juice: Understanding jealous older women

image by Meisterdeszirkuss

For years i was bullied and targeted by an older woman. I never fully understood where the depth of her contempt came from, i just knew that suddenly a woman who had years on me, had birthed this obsessive need to compete. This jealousy and envy she felt, meant she manipulated those around her, and completely villified me, and someone who should have shown just a hint of backbone didn't just stand back and watch it happen, but he was so utterly spineless and so desperate for his mother's approval, he'd egg her on viciously in secret, desperate to fit in with the mob. Not aware that there's things only a woman can see, that sometimes, a man does not acknowledge.

This woman was dumpy looking. despite being attractive, she looked like she'd had a fight with life it had kicked the crap out of her, and all that was left was this old battered soul. Her shoulders always slumped when i saw her and nothing said she had even an ounce of self esteem. When she walked past me it was as though i was superior in some way, and she felt inadequate, yet whenever there were people around this woman's ability to hide her own self loathing was more than magical. She'd cackle like a witch as i heard shouts of "she's disgusting," and any other derogatory comments she could think of. The words would spew from her like an acid well, and those around her who clearly had insecurities of their own because some were fat, others were overly shy and insecure, some probably had issues with rejection. I could tell that for a woman who clearly seemed as though she were lonely, and craved attention, when she had something to talk about, it fed that need to be spotlighted. The need to be acknowledged, and to gain respect, in her bizarre, messed up her hierarchy.

There are many women who deal with getting old extremely well. We see it's worked for them. There's a confidence about them, despite their age, their like supernova's , you move towards them instead of shy away from them because you respect them. Getting old is not a bad thing. It is transition. Age means wisdom for some it means growth and polish, those who age gracefully age well, and those who rot and stew in the bitterness of past mistakes and insecurities carry a ten ton truck of insecurities. I know, i've been different versions.

As i heard this 'witch' launch more attacks about who i was, the way i was, how flawed i was, i realised something. no matter how much she criticised me, she couldnt take away the disdain she felt for herself. The self loathing that would probably never leave because in life we make choices, and her choice is to alienate people then beg them back. It's a funny thing life. The more she shrieked and howled and tried to tear into me, i realised, she was complaining about me to people i never wanted to associate myself with anyway, to people i didn't like and to people who clearly didn't like themselves. As she became more bitter, and childish, resorting to schoolyard bullying to validate her own life, it hit me then. Something was truly missing in this woman's life. Everything she was doing as much as it appeared to be about me, it was far from that. Her hate campaign was about her. It was also her issues with aging,it's not like she was becoming help the aged, but i imagine for a control freak, that fear of things furthering to spiral out of your control. Along with that of abandonment. Although i had many imperfect moments, i realised how sad it was to be like this, filled with such bitterness, about life and so cold. The goal of living is to be happy, that is the ultimate goal. Not all older women are envious like this, but this woman was truly coming from a place of lack. When someone is this bitterly envious, it's because you have something, and it's not something that can be acquired, it's something that lies within you.

Principle of progress:The journey

image by tobomboan

Its not about how long it will be before you get there. Just keep going and flowing as you reach for that goal. Tongues will wag, minds will flutter, but it's not their journey, it's yours. It will take time. You will be mentally and emotionally exhausted, but by the end of it, it will be completely worth it. Not only will you fly but you will soar. Keep your head up. It's hard sometimes in life, especially when we feel as though were near the bottom, yet in the bible ironically, it says it's darkest before dawn. This is your time, make the most of it. It's cheesey and said often that you only live once, so whilst you do, why not live life happy.

Navigating to need: How to get things done!

Make what you want what you need, so there are no room for excuses. There's nothing more frustrating than being stuck on planet idea, with no consecutive action towards it. You find yourself amongst a lifetime of great ideas and bad strategy. The worst strategy of all being the favourite, curl up in front of the tv, talk to your friends about how great-no amazing your idea is, and hoping people pat you on the back for how intelligent you are. People will get tired of giving you high fives with absolutely no action and no result. Laziness is the poor man's best friend. Hopefully we are trying to proove to ourselves, not only are we not lazy but were also not afraid of a challenge. Here are the top key needs that are necessary before you face this.

1) First of all smile, it's not torture. You are setting up a series of events that are changing your lifestyle and changing the way you see yourself.

2)Remind yourself why this is fun! Fun! Fun!

3) List all the reasons why it is a necessity you get this goal accomplished.

4) Map out a plan of action. Strategy,strategy,strategy
What is your strategy? What are steps Ato Z? Who are you gonna call?...hopefully not ghostbusters

5) Start researching, and produce a portfolio of people who have done what you want to accomplish. What are their backstories? How many times did they fail? Who did they connect with to try and accomplish this goal?

6) If you could accomplish your goal by next week? Next month even? How would you feel? Visualise yourself, hold unto that feeling and let it push you forward

7) As much as fear is a great deterrent it's also a great motivator. What are the downsides of you not taking action and accomplishing this goal?

The muscle behind motivation

What drives you do you know? Sometimes we're motivated by anger, resentment, the need for change, the hunger to find ourselves in a better financial situation, the passion to prove a point and the need for escape. If we are the guns, our drive, which forces our actions are the trigger. What happens when a gun is fired? Instant impact. I am very much against the use of firearms, so this post isn't to encourage anyone to pick up a weapon. Actions are like bullets in the air, you never see a bullet being fired out of a gun, what you do see is the damage and the chaos once you hear that sound. Let's make positive impact instead of the negative. Once you've sounded that alarm about a goal, an ambition, a choice you are to make ensure, the impact takes place within you.This means instantly celebrate the fact that your taking charge of your personal future, instantly celebrate that you met the demands, and didn't hold yourself hostage by praying for the back handed high fives of the world around you? Can you do it? Are you really a testament to yourself? This as ive said many times on red ebony....isn't about everybody else's praise. It's about you being a testament to yourself. It is so you prove that your words instantly impact you. Quickly,privately they resonate within your being. image by 00rein00

Bounce back mentality: Combating negative self talk

Today was about to be a kick myself day. I had a plan, and hadn't predicted that when the morning rolled in, not only would I have missed out on some sleep and wake up exhausted, my frame of mind would have sunk to an almost depressed compressed state; there would be a string of rebuffs, rebuttals, insults for myself a mile long. I was furious with myself. Things needed to go according to plan, and I needed to prove I could validate myself. Life doesn't always go according to plan. We'll have high days, low days, moments when energy is sucked out from us through a straw. Do what you can on that day. Listen to what you can if it's classical music motivational speaking seminars, exercise, and take everything a step at a time. Do not overwhelm yourself with negative self talk, you will slip up and make mistakes from time to time;yet for your goal to be accomplished,these moments are where you learn the most powerful lesson.Crippling your imagination and growth with toxic put downs. Ripping yourself apart will not do the trick. Whatever this challenge is, especially if it is something positive that can carry you into a better place. You can do this,finish the biscuit bite by bite. whatever the goal, plan, ambition; remember it will take time, and time provides us with a buffet of mistakes. So we can learn from them and see how quickly we can bounce back. We are a product of our mistakes, and what defines strength, is how you handle yourself in the midst of the chaos and your recovery. For example in gymnastics we awe at how many triple somersaults and backflips a gymnast can do. Yet if you look closely what they're also marked on, is how effectively and gracefully they land. 1st Image by GDS WORLD 2nd Image by Clashed