A timeless classic: Beat the Bully

People who are jealous of you have a habit of tearing you down, then copying every single thing you do. As a leader, you have to be aware that in life there are winners and there are looser. Those who set themselves up to loose and fail by cheating, by faking skills they don't have in order to justify an inadequacy they've felt all their lives. Someone sick did this to me, most of you who follow my blog and follow me on Facebook know my story. I was severely bullied and alienated from the rest of my community by a guy and his family who were upset simply because, I just wouldn't sleep with him. His mother had been acting cruelly towards me, competing with me, until I later discovered she had severe mental health problems. This was a woman on the fringe. Yet lest not focus on that lest focus on how i asserted myself as a leader throughout this whole situation as this turned into a witch hunt. I was called Racist names, people were told to avoid me, and harassed consistently by this guy's family and his friends. They were determined to keep me at the bottom, I am rising to the top. I now have an agent for my book, I am working with the phenomenal miss central London GB, have a host of connections which include Royalty and I'm hosting an event with Richard Bransons mentee. I've been through the depression, I've been through the why he's, there is always something about you that makes that person feel inferior.They target you because their weak and joining together to make one person feel small makes them feel strong. Never keep their secret. The mother who was the instigator would cheer on the kids for calling me sadistic names, she would spread vicious and malicious lies about me throughout the neighbourhood. I'd have families with really bad reputations, families I'd never given the time of day too , bonding together, to say things like ' don't go near that girl,' because I was different. It is not your job to cloak a coward in shadow, do not hide their malice in myth , if someone really wants to help your character, they would look you directly in the eye and challenge you, on these flaws they say you have. Weak people and those who lack social skills, use malice as a way to bond. They don't have social flair, these are people you probably wouldn't give the time of day too, so what is the other option, they use stupidity, nastiness,and cruelty to draw you in.  These are people you wouldn't give the time of day too . If your so ugly, if your so flawed, if your so less than up to par why are they so taken up with what your doing, wearing, how your talking. Bullies have always been bullied themselves, or abused in some way, jealous and something about you is pretty amazing. So keep being amazing. Avoid them, ignore them, for me these people will never get my time. It is precious. In this lifetime if you see someone outnumbered don't join the pack, you wanna be a leader not a looser.

Real respect

image by Canoneos

I once took a risk on someone and watched in awe as they showed themselves to be everything i actually found unappealing in a person. Dishonest, manipulative, cruel, sadistic. What i had offered as kindness was used as a platform to ridicule me in an attempt to appear more appealing to others, and in their very insecure maner....make people stay. Make people find them funny, or likable, attractive in some way, and the more i tried to move forward from the mistake of such a bad choice, the same person that had tried so intensely to ruin my reputation, became jealous, and was actually investing more time to show themselves more toxic. From allowing myself to be wound up , getting angry, becoming furious, it became clear to me, the sadness of the choices they were making. How pathetic it was that they had to stoop so low in order to try and get others to stay, ultimately those people would leave anyway. They would require someone with more confidence, more adventure, more stories to tell, more of a likability factor. When you love yourself you have more to share than the flaws of others.I realised that i was better than such poor behaviour. There is an old saying i used to tell someone close to me, "sadly the bad one's always come back", they are like a revolving door, and are often deluded enough to think despite treating you so poorly you have such little respect they can gain entrance. Time soon comes. The same people who merrily tear you down will be eager to talk to you, or curious about the intricacies of your life. I've learnt with age that when people are hostile to you.....dramatically, and it is unprovoked, they are often hostile with an agenda. The more he ridiculed and belittled me with those around him to support his envy and that of others, i reminded myself that i wasn't a revolving door. We make a choice, to treat others with respect, and to ask the right qestions when we sense there is something amiss. Love yourself no matter what, you are worthy of the utmost respect. You are worthy of love, friendship, companionship, and most of all people who don't specialise in trying to use you as a platform to gain negative kudos.If they respected themselves they wouldn't have to stoop so low.

Dragged to emotional Debris: When people try and put you down

Whenever somebody is desperately trying to bring you down, there's only one agenda behind it. Bitterness and envy. Ask yourself one simple question. Why am I so important in this person's life? Why do I even matter to them? Why am I even significant? Let me give you the answer. You just are. They see something in you that you may not even see in yourself yet, and it doesn't just threaten them it makes them feel inadequate. People don't like to feel inadequate, therefore the only way they can gain significance in your world is by being that idiot who hovers near to cackle at insults about you, or other people ridiculing you. Lets look at this, because for ages I felt small because someone who didn't know me was spreading vicious gossip and ensuring others would judge me without giving me a chance, this was all about their own insecurities and inferiority complex. Then I put it in perspective, could I see myself associating with people this dim-witted? Would I respect their opinions? Their ideas and beliefs about life, would they inspire me, or would I cringe with embarrassment every time they opened their mouth to speak?  Could I see myself socialising with them, laughing with them, ever quoting something they said as genius? Would these people ever be the next president, prime minister, business mogul, with all the time they invested talking about me would they put it towards making themselves successful? Doubtful, highly doubtful. People like this would spend the rest of their lives just talking about what this person and that person did, does or may or may not do. They'll spend a lifetime glorifying any tiny mistake you make because their insecure, threatened and unhappy with their lives, and when you do or say anything positive they will continue to not acknowledge it. You have no choice but to take the anger out. I used to be furious at people like this but then I realise now these people are secretly unhappy with their portion and their trying to share the responsibility of their pain with you. These people  have lost a lot most of it things their probably too proud to speak of. It's their fear of loosing that makes them hungry enough to feel this deep seated need to compete with you. Your probably not the only person they have done this too. The more they try and drag you down have your boosters ready, the things you say to yourself, the things that make you happy, and live your life. Counter their negativity with your own positivity.

Tearing down titanium: How to deal with people who try and tear you down

Image by thirteen13

In life there will always be people who try and tear you down. They may have experience the burns and scars of pain. They may have been hurt or broken in some way, don't let that person be you. It's a shadow that's easy to turn into. Hurt people hurt people. Damaged people, damage people. Yet somehow everyone has experienced the trauma of pain. It is easy to allow others to make you feel small. Don't give them that power, they really don't deserve it. Show them what your made of. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP . Strength isn't without, it comes from within. Your strength is in your blood, it pulses through your veins it's something you were born with. Don't deny yourself your gift, your talent, and dont let someone who is weaker than you try and tear you down. Most of the time, they are talking about you because they are jealous. It's a sad thing about life. That sometime you will find people who see a quality in you, rather than simply ask, or attempt to learn from you, they'll criticise , judge and condemn. Let them burn with the acid of their own envy, let them burn with their own jealousy. Let their essence eat them alive. Why do i say this? Because it's their time, and their life that their wasting. Whilst you continue to achieve accomplish and grow, they struggle with their own feelings of self loathing and self contempt. If they felt so great about themselves would they have to bring you down?.....I doubt it. They would be too busy focussed on being happy.

Keeping your confidence: Staying away from energy stealers

image by dreamscatchme

Everybody knows a bitch. The friend or family member, maybe even work colleague whose mouth seems frozen in the flaws of others. Most of the time we listen in paralysis as the bile flows freely from their lips, secretly knowing their agenda, be it jealousy, or envy, or even greed, yet we smile and engage them. We continue to keep company with them, ignoring their words about others, praying the boomerang won't come back on us. Remember the law of the universe, you are the company you keep. That individual chooses to be this way because they are unhappy. Human beings are not just organs and blood, we are made up of energy, if your around someone that draining, take them in small doses or not at all. After all where do you think they get the energy from.....their stealing some of yours.

Cowardly Cringe worthy bully exposed: To me anyway

Today god would have it that without meaning to, i just dealt with a cowardly spineless cringe worthy bully. For a year and a half, this fat girl and her mother were trying to pick on me because id dared to speak to their older son. I was convinced the guy had crush on me, i'm still convinced this guy had a thing for me. Yet rather than admitting it, instead of having a backbone because in his family's food chain he's at the bottom of the rung, he saw my very bold attempt to speak to him as an opportunity to gain favour with his family. I was put down, ridiculed, laughed at, they'd join together, never alone, they could never face me on their own. In Archetypal bully format they needed numbers, they needed to be a gang and band against one person. Also, their very insecure people, and they wanted to impress some young girl that was visiting their family. From running to point me out and laugh at me, to making me the hot topic of most of their pathetic gossip. They seemed to get this real kick out of it. Now i can never say i'm a saint, because i'm definitely a firecracker, but i know envy when i see it. I used to think you have to be conventionally pretty and tick all the boxes for people to be envious of you, when actually you can just have something they lack and their envious about it. The guy made it more than clear to his family that he wasn't interested in me, but out of their own selfish agenda, jealousy and spite, this woman and her daughter took it upon themselves to attempt to try desperately to make me feel really small. Now this woman is too terrified to face me because she does a lot of nasty things to people, and she's terrified of confrontation. This morning her daughter who had joined her family to be putting me down, trying to ridicule me, desperately trying to make me feel small, the girl saw me, and was too scared to get out of her car. I don't believe in coincidences, i believe god was saying, these are the people trying to make you feel small, look how weak they are. I couldn't believe it. Her kids are grown up, but they are spineless yet so cruel. I actually walked outside to take the bins out 3 times as though to say, if you've got something to say to me, if you've actually got a backbone, i'm not running anywhere, I'M RIGHT HERE YOU MORON!! This fool stayed and hid in her car like a coward, pretending as though she was looking for something, and she's twice my size as well, and older than me. It's pathetic. She did the same crap when i saw her in the shopping Mall, after having so much 'crap' to say about me, this fool just stood there and stared at her feet the whole time. Classless.

My remit is simple. If you don't want to live paranoid and scared of repercussions, don't agravate people. Don't gossip and belittle them because of your own self esteem issues. No matter what this girl and her family have to say about me, i have my insecurities, but i have more confidence than they'll ever have. They were putting me down because something was lacking in their lives and it is huge. If you have to ridicule someone and put them down to make people like you, to make people find your family interesting, it shows how inadequate you really are. It's the way invisible people make themselves visible. It's the way people who crave attention desperately. That was god's way of saying,  "look, here's the shrimp that's trying to make you feel small. Look how small they are. She's so insignificant, there's absolutely nothing there." This fool that had so much nonsense, vomit, gas, poison to say, was too scared to step out of her car. How spineless must you be. Everybody deserves to be happy, even those fools. Oh and the whole time they've been desperately trying to make me feel small, i've kept my head up. I'm not in the business of sucking the life out of my shoe laces with my eyes. I have what's called self esteem, and no jealous, wimpy, pathetic, fool is gonna steal that from me. The joy we have, it is our right to hold unto it. We deserve to smile and laugh, and be joyful every single day, because life is hard enough. A year later this worm is still trying to make me feel small for a mistake i made over a year ago? Get a grip.

Healing from hate

Bullying is like a virus. Those who have been bullied become the bully. Despite someone telling a lot of stories and spreading a lot of poison and gossip at one point i actually even became the bully by default. I was so infuriated. I thought it was so unfair. Then i realised, What am i fighting for. What on Earth am i fighting this person for? I was happy before i allowed myself to be embroiled in their miserable agenda. I could tell that they were an unhappy, discontent person, and they seemed to resent everybody else their own happiness. They seemed to be really cruel and almost take pleasure in seeing others miserable because they were, but the strength comes in your ability to deal with people as nasty as this.Keep your head up. The goal is to make you feel small , Remind yourself your a giant in your own mind. Speak positive things in your mind, smile, bless yourself, with a spirit of kind words and a warm heart. Counter negativity with positive words and positive experiences.

What are signs someone is threatened or jealous of you?

                                                                      
                                          image by greeneyesofrain




When someone is jealous of you, the people around them can sense it, but depending on hierarchy and status in the group, family, or whatever the setting, that person may continue to be egged on.

They ridicule you. You are always a topic on that persons lips. They may catch glimpses of you. Only one second, two minutes, you coluld even live right next door to them. They need to make themselves look strong, by ridiculing you. Because it could be something as simple as someone close to them paying attention to you, noticing you, even looking at you. The loud laughing or cackling. Often times whats probably been said about you isn't even funny, or vaguely amusing. Yet they laugh at the top of their voice because they need you to know, "i am ridiculing you."
"Look at me, im better than you." Deep down they dont actually feel better than you. It is a strategy used by them to ensure that those around them look upon you as small. They need to make you feel small, so they can look big. Deep down they often know the truth. Yet if you find yourself the object of consistent bullying, nasty comments, bitchy and spiteful behaviour, most of the time the validation their getting is not enough.

The objective is to break your spirit. That is the goal. If you look weak, if you look small, they can write you off as good as gone. So they persist, hammering away, forcing discusssions about you when there is nothing to be said. Wether you are the prettiest girl, or you dont find yourself to be the most attractive. Wether your the smartest girl, or you find yourself not especially the whizz brain. Something about you makes that person feel inadequate. You may be socially liked and very easy going, which is often an attractive trait, people take for granted how far such a nature can carry them.
If you know their behaviour reeks of envy, discontent, a jealousy and a need for control that is burning at them like acid. Keep that smile on your face and keep your head up.

Your head up is one of the most powerful counters you have. Body language works wonders. It says in bold print, you can't break me, you cant hurt me, i'm stronger than you, keep wasting your time and the little energy you have. Everytime you walk past that individual allow the stubborness in you to take root. Keep that head up. Keep that back straight and smile internally.

If they are spreading toxins to people around you, they are doing you a favour. Those are people you dont have to waste your breath on. If you are in a work scenario, and there's poisonous people like this about, keep your communication to them at minimum. If you have to team up with them, be as polite as possible, because your focus is the result. Your not their best friend, their not yours, but you have an objective to meet, ensure you meet it to the best of your ability. Be smart enough to know that someone who is envious of you may often be dumb enough to cut their nose off to spite their face. That means as your working for the good of the team, their so hell bent on sabotaging you, they may not work their hardest to keep you in a good light. If there is another party you can consistently report your progress to then do so.

Tell yourself everyday, i am happy, i am blessed, i feel loved, i am cherished. Celebrate the little things about who you are, and congratulate yourself for your minor achievements. In life what i've learnt, is people who are envious of you, judas's of your time, as much as they despise you still love to talk about you, will find ways to actually be near you, or even despite what they do as desperate for your attention. There's nothing more frustrating than those who rather than paying you a simple compliment so you can pay it back, thrive on their attempts to drown you.

image by Imustbedead

Do not allow yourself to drown in the chaos of someone else's emotional mire. This means someone else feels small, feels unattractive, unintelligent, as though everything they have is not enough, you become pulled into the riptide of their mess, and are swimming desperately for your life.

Wether it's an emotional connection, or an energy connection, if you dont have to talk to them, be their family member, their friend, distance yourself from them and any negative dialogue they intend to open up. You deserve to be happy, someone else's 'stuff' doesn't have the right to get in your way.

Some people argue that you should befriend those who are jealous of you, let them confide in you, show pity and empathy for them. If you can, i'd say that's great. Your self esteem is more valuable than any forced friendship. A friendship with someone who is overly jealous is like a time bomb, waiting to go off. How long will you have to keep your successes to yourself, how long will you have to keep every good thing that happens to you a secret? Stay positive and keep your head up, and your spirit up.

Anger: How to deal with narcissistic people

Anger is defective when dealing with  nasty narcissistic people. You may think sparking yourself up with fury, being the one person that will take them on makes you the hero. Sadly sometimes by default we find ourselves turning into that which we despise the most. Push down on your clutch, that is not your destination. Maybe youre the type of individual that believes if i just show this person the error of their ways, they learn they cant do cruel things to decent people, they'll change. Change is a choice that comes from within. Let their own vicious spirit disempower them. Focus on running your race. If you become the target of their abuse, or malice, make yourself like teflon with your goals,passion, and eagle eyes on your own life and ambitions.If you can make a positive change in your own life, you can make a positive change in the lives of those worthy enough to deserve your attentions. Everybody has insecurities and weak people especially narcissistic strategist will go out of their way to make you look weak so they can feel strong. That momentary high lasts only for a minute, in private these people are often bought crashing down with their own reality. The holes, gaps, and longings they have. The envy they feel for you and others is like an acid in their throat. In no way must you allow their energy to tie up with yours. In no way must you allow yourself to be plagued, condemn and emotionally whipped, by the inferiority complex which rests perched on their shoulder, like a parrot in their ear. You are worth ten of them, and they know it. Anger leads to blind strategy, it's as if your crutches have been whipped away from you, and there you are stumbling on the pavement. Walk tall, with your head up, as though it were touching the moon. You are worth ten of them......you need to remember because everytime they wind you up, or you hear something nasty they've done to someone else, you'll feel that shock of anger, and you'll need to co ax yourself off that ledge.

image by Meagan Marie

How to snob a snob

image by pixie cold Wow what a title. We've all been there, were your going about your own personal affairs, and are constantly up against some snob who thinks their better than you. Looks down their nose, and takes the time to judge you, not even by commentary alone, but the old evil stare and the turn of the head with disgust. How do you snob a snob? My strategy is to communicate with everybody else,and simply keeping your distance. A nod, or a brief hello, will keep your conscience at ease, but when it comes to intense communication, laughter, jokes, time, give that to every body else. Snobs love to alienate people and feel as though the world should worship them, yet when you ignore a snob and make a point to not give them the time of day...despite their destructive energy. Snobs tend to seek you out, happen to walk past you a million times, be as loud as they possibly can,and some are just low saying any nasty thing they can think of about you. Suddenly the person they thought they were too superior to, is the person whose attention they begin to crave with an almost desperation. Watchout though ultimately this plea for attention may simply be that.....a dire plea for attention. Meaning you may not get a real friendship out of this person or will be in a scenario where your constantly guarding your tongue and your secrets, made to look at your life through a magnifying glass. Some people who appear to think their superior to you, are usually bitterly envious of you.

Their like rotten fruit, if you swallow their words they will make you sick.They are not happy people, and misery always loves company. The way to deal with a snob? Keep them outside of whats precious to you, and you dont have to shout it, scream it, or holler it, but make it clear not only do you think your the bees knees, and superior to their false often hypocritical morals and judgements, but your too good to contaminate yourself 'intimately' with someone whose scales are broken. Someone who needs to measure themselves against you to feel like their anything, your just happy living your life.

Beating the jaded and the jealous

Jealousy by lady imogen


Jealous people are raw. They'll do just about anything say just about anything in an attempt to shred your confidence. Your happiness and free/ independant spirit is like acid seething into their bones, and you find yourself being the subject of gossip, and someone's hungry attempts to 'make sure you know your place.' Here are key things that will give you piece of mind.

The person laughing at you, trying to ridicule you is not actually happy. That laughter is false and those 'brave' comments they love to say behind your back are actually helping you. Someone's jealousy is motivation for you to keep going, if life is a marathon, your exhausted beyond belief, that envious person might as well be your cheerleader, because their telling you, 'keep going, your doing something right.' I recently experienced the complexity and the frustration that comes with a jealous person, someone they valued took an interest in me and it haunts them. Those moments where you feel someone is trying to make you the object of pure ridicule, and deciding that what they'll do is gather a bunch of people just as insecure as them, who also have their own hangups about you, determined to make you feel small....Guess what? Their doing it because their thinking about you, something about you makes them feel small, insignificant, discontent, inadequate. You begin to notice key things, the jealous person despite knocking at you, trying to humiliate you, is starting to do similar things to you. That's right. Your so flawed that this person is trying to impersonate you, even in the little ways.

jealousy by creatively bankrupt

People often give the advice befriend or ignore. Befriending a jealous backstabber may subdue some of their nastiness, but it wont stop those catty comments which they'll throw with such olympian steel everytime you get praise for something or you achieve something. I support the concept ignore and continue to succeed there is nothing more frustrating to a jealous backstabber than you ignoring them and acting insignificant.Deal with them the way the celebrities deal with the press,ignore them. The more someone who you sense is jealous dramatically tries to humiliate you, with performance, and grandeur, the more its clear that its not just that they want you to feel bad, but ironically enough they want your attention. The people around them validate them, but most of all secretly they want you to validate them because whatever your skill, what you have, be it beauty or strength, or intellect, maybe your wealthy, or maybe your popular, their like a child lashing out because they want your attention. Because they've been acting badly, your not giving it to them. Your happy, which means you dont need them, active and it's frustrating them more and more.

jealousy by littlemewhatever

I'll give you an example of this. I knew someone was being very nasty because they were very jealous of me. I questioned it many times and thought what do i have which they yearn for. It was the attention, confidence, fearlessness, and ease of communication. They didn't like the fact that i was likeable and somebody close to them had begun to show signs of liking me, even being attracted to me. Not only did this person feel they could lose someone they cared about if they didn't react fast, they already had a very bitter competitive nature and were quite lonely. I knew that it was their jealousy, and would look at them dead in the face and shout out things like "your jealous! your bitter," and their behaviour was only frustrating me. Then i changed my attitude started focussing on my goals and ambitions, inviting some of my male friends and basically laughing and being happy. The more i showed signs of happiness and ignored this persons existence, the more they upped the ante screaming their heads of with malicious laughter if i passed by their residence, doing whatever they could to get my attention,basically making a show of themselves. Everytime they did it, i was let into a secret, that nobody else knew about them. They were deeply unhappy.Or they'd actually spent their time thinking about something in relation to me and it was burning them.

Backstabbers often put up a brave front around the people around them so they look and feel important to those around them. Everytime i saw the same woman on the street, she dared not make eye contact with me. In fact most of the people who joined her to criticise me would look at their feet, or be filled with a sense of nervousness and fear. You may not feel you are better than this individual, but they do. The more they run rings around it, talk in circles, try and cover it up, the more real it becomes to them, and they hate it. Because we may be able to lie to others but we can never lie to ourselves.

Wow Petty women? Interesting video

luv this:Life branding, How to deal with haters

Understanding why people are mean: Amazing video

This advice is absolutely spot on.

Understanding Jealous people

We assume that jealousy is always about material, and superficial or shallow things. We understand that jealousy is about fancy cars, modellesque beauty, iconic clothes and promotions. Sometimes people can be jealous of who you are, or things that even you can't see. Jealous of your confidence, creativity, guts and gusto. Envious that someone else is more respected than they are, and frustrated that these flaws they hold on to about the object of their jealousy and loathing, are not validated with the intense envy they feel. Jealous people can often appear to be nice people, warm and kind, but a sinister sinisism lurks beneath their false smiles. What are the signs of envious people? One of the key ones is someone who hates you for absolutely no reason. Someone who randomly chooses to dislike you and spreads poison to ruin your reputation. Jealous people bitch behind your back, but are often too cowardly to express themselves to your face, why is that? Because of their envy, they don't want you to challenge them, because not only will a face to face confrontation with you expose their behaviour for what it truly is, but it is an issue that they dont want to resolve. It is an issue that they have with themselves.Something that makes them feel weak. Someone whose lonely may resent the fact that your popular and outgoing, they may describe you as loud and brash. Someone whose insecure about their sexual appeal, may call you easy, unattractive, or even desperate because you get more attention than them. Someone whose unconfident, may see your confidence as a threat.Jealous people will often make biting comments or attempt to humiliate you when they can. Some jealous people will attempt to socially alienate you, so you start to loose self esteem and the thing that you celebrate about yourself you begin to question. You'll notice that envious people will often seem/look happier or stronger the more down you feel. That's them getting high off the confidence they stole from you.

Just for the record, their jealousy isn't about you. It may seem to be, but actually it's not. It's about the things that individual feels their lacking in life. Being around you makes them react so negatively, because it reminds them about their flaws and insecurities.Rather than face their confidence issues and past emotional baggage, they project their problems unto you.You become the target of their own personal hate campaign, Because face it, your an enemy they can see. Overly posessive people will often turn on a target their intimidated by, saying things like that person is too clingy, too needy, or anything they can think of, because they need to distract others from their controlling nature. The more isolated you are. The more vulnerable you are to their insults and bullying. I've noticed that most of the people who made my life hell were jealous of something i had, how did i discover this? The same people would try and imitate me, copying how i spoke or how i acted to prove to themselves that not only could they be me, but they could be me better than i could. People who acted completely normal, nice, rational with everyone else, would come around me and begin to desperately compete. Jealous people are often people who don't feel like they measure up. It can be confusing as you may meet someone that seems to have it all, beauty, finances, great partner, yet towards you their behaviour shows extreme jealousy, that isn't just witnessed by you but by others. Human beings pick all sorts of reasons to feel inadequate. We just have to remember, as frusrating as it gets, it's a good, phenomenal, positive quality they see in you, which they dont have, and they cant have.

Here's some more positive information. There is many a time we come across nasty, jealous people, and those around them canot see their behaviour for what it is.We start to feel feelings of betrayal, hurt, and even anger at our peers for not seeing what we see, yet guess what? That persons agenda will be found out eventually, because it's not the person they have the problem with. It's the quality, or the trait. All you have to do is sit tight, or find some people you'll have an amazing time with, it's only a matter of time before that person reels their ugly jealous head on someone else. In the meantime, you'll be getting on with the business of being happy.

The jealous are troublesome to others, but a torment to themselves. ~William Penn, Some Fruits of Solitude, 1693

How to Understand jealousy and work towards healing

We were fine throughout the conversation, and then it appeared. The flash of a sadness in the eye. A quickly sinking posture as a smile trembled and shook like an Earth quake.He had achieved something. Something i knew he deserved. Yet i couldn't help that snake of envy weaving it's way forward. I was sad for the things i hadn't accomplished, dreams i hadn't achieved, and failed attempts that throbbed even when they were forgotten.At the core i was happy for him, yet felt sorry for myself. Yet i'm proud that i still managed to keep smiling, and although it was a dramatic, highly exaggerated attempt at support, i'm proud that i could be strong enough to show it. Jealousy affects different people in different ways, some become nasty and vindictive, some become scared and isolate you, some simply have the class to admit they are coming from a place of envy, and their life is not the charade they've put on display. I've been jealous before, and experienced the cruelty of jealousy.

It always comes from a place of fear, lacking and an inner feeling of being abandoned. Being left behind. No matter how many books you read, articles you chow down on, church seminars we drill into our lives. Jealousy is part of the human experience. It's an emotion you can't always control, but out of respect for yourself, your principles, Karma, and the people you love...challenge it's negtive energy by focussing on something positive. Find a way to simply be content. A lot of jealousy is about insecurity. The reality is there will always be someone whose better looking than us, more intelligent, more successful, more popular. Yet we can always learn from them. We can learn not to be so hard on ourselves, not to mould our lives to our own visuals of perfection. There is nothing perfect under the sun, eveything can be adjusted. Many seeds can be sewn and grown.





Not everything makes sense,it's not always going to be easy, but it's our journey and we have to do it our way. By countering negative scared energy, with positive, focussed, and driven energy. If you have to say it to them face to face, write it in a letter, tape record yourself expressing your emotions, say it with honesty of heart. This isn't about you, it's about me, i'm not where i would like myself to be. I'm not who i would like to be right now, i feel like everybody's passing me by, i'm not as happy as i would like too.This isn't about you. Then in the kindest voice, speak to yourself as though you were a best friend, someone that loves you, and understands your vulnerabilities.
jealousy
Tell yourself the truth, you may feel left out now, it may sport, and hurt and throb, but keep busy, stay focussed. Time reveals itself and turns caterpillars into beautiful butterflies. Yet your life is not a showpiece for everyone else, it's a journey for yourself. Which will involve, many wrong turns, mistakes, errors in judgement, because simply put...your only human.