Showing posts with label resentment. Show all posts
Showing posts with label resentment. Show all posts

Monday, 20 May 2013

Jekyll and Hyde of Mr Nice guyZeus phenomena




image by domesticviolenceuk.org 

People say power corrupts, or sometimes they say money does. I think someone has to have those yearnings deep within themselves, somewhere in the dark recesses of those contrived organized placid systemic smiles. We say everyone has a dark side, but what happens when Mr nice guy turns nasty. What I've learnt over time is that everybody has a side, everybody has a coin element. I wrote this piece for every woman or every man even whose kicking themselves right now because someone who appeared to be so regular and so nice, over time revealed such a nasty nature to themselves. An enjoyment of cruelty, or a contemptful nature, and slowly sucking the self esteem out of others through a straw because they had none. For women who have dated emotionally abusive men, bullies, liars, controllers, manipulaters, and you begin to have a deep resentment towards yourself because why you? Why do you keep picking these guys? How could you not see who they were, or how they were? How did they trick you? They tricked themselves. That abuse that they throw at you, those comments, from the person who manipulates you with the silent treatment when they don't get their own way, alienate you from family, drive you so far away yet hunt you down like an animal because suddenly they need you so near. You need to understand all these things that they do is not about you, it's about how they feel about themselves. A man who may be jealous of the fact that your bubbly, likable, outgoing, and attractive, may make it his goal not just to attempt to make you feel small. Yet to really bury you in their feelings of inadequacy. Sometimes we do a lot of self blame, we question our judgement, and forget to tell ourselves, we chose those people not because we thought they were bad people. It was because we thought they were good people. A guy who later decided to try and bully or ridicule me for over a year because I was no longer interested in him, wasn't especially good looking, he didn't have a lot of money, he had a strange tone to his voice, he wasn't charismatic, or intelligent. What I saw to him, was a nice guy, he seemed like a kind hearted soul, and he seemed reliable and the sort of person that was honest. Despite the signals and signs which appeared to me as though he were interested in me, it was a funny show of events to see the other side of him. Weak, a follower. His family didn't find me especially physically appealing, they favoured lighter skinned women, rather than simply admitting that he was attracted to someone they may not approve of. I was called every name under the sun, lied about, gossiped about, and because it was feeding into his ego and need for validation, he went right along with it.

People have various sides to them. Time reveals all, within us, we have to decide what were willing to tolerate. What we will stand for and who will allow to engage our lives and our energy. Your energy is precious, your joy is precious, share your essence with the right type of people, and don't brutalise yourself for making imperfect judgements, we are not perfect people. Time reveals all. If you've made a mistake and bad judgement call, it was that....a mistake. Don't let other people drag you down because they feel inadequate.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

The muscle behind motivation

What drives you do you know? Sometimes we're motivated by anger, resentment, the need for change, the hunger to find ourselves in a better financial situation, the passion to prove a point and the need for escape. If we are the guns, our drive, which forces our actions are the trigger. What happens when a gun is fired? Instant impact. I am very much against the use of firearms, so this post isn't to encourage anyone to pick up a weapon. Actions are like bullets in the air, you never see a bullet being fired out of a gun, what you do see is the damage and the chaos once you hear that sound. Let's make positive impact instead of the negative. Once you've sounded that alarm about a goal, an ambition, a choice you are to make ensure, the impact takes place within you.This means instantly celebrate the fact that your taking charge of your personal future, instantly celebrate that you met the demands, and didn't hold yourself hostage by praying for the back handed high fives of the world around you? Can you do it? Are you really a testament to yourself? This as ive said many times on red ebony....isn't about everybody else's praise. It's about you being a testament to yourself. It is so you prove that your words instantly impact you. Quickly,privately they resonate within your being. image by 00rein00

Saturday, 24 December 2011

How to empower yourself:Forgiving the enemy









Clinton story about Nelson Mandela

“Mandela made a grand, elegant, dignified exit from prison and it was very, very powerful for the world to see. But as I watched him walking down that dusty road, I wondered whether he was thinking about the last 27 years, whether he was angry all over again. Later, many years later, I had a chance to ask him. I said, ‘Come on, you were a great man, you invited your jailers to your inauguration, you put your pressures on the government. But tell me the truth. Weren’t you really angry all over again?’ And he said, ‘Yes, I was angry. And I was a little afraid. After all I’ve not been free in so long. But,’ he said, ‘when I felt that anger well up inside of me I realized that if I hated them after I got outside that gate then they would still have me.’ And he smiled and said, ‘I wanted to be free so I let it go.’ It was an astonishing moment in my life. It changed me.” http://lenski.com/letting-go-of-anger-resentment-and-grudges/



I thought about anger today, and how resentment swallows you up like a starved prisoner. In the short term we feel strong, in the long term the negative things we focus on claim us. Do you want to give your life to someone who you know is not worthy, not of your time, not even of your spiritual communication. It's such a load to hold anger and resentment in your heart. It causes illness, creates more fear, and are you actually happy for being able to recollect all the nasty things, someone who right now could simply be as forgetful as a fly has done to you?forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. I've spent ages resenting a woman who unrightfully acted negatively and superior towards my family. A woman who hasn't achieved, neither her family accomplished some of the accolades we have as a unit. Each member of our family has their own creative style, and cv of success. This woman i knew was governed by her own jealousy, and feelings of inferiority and discontent. No matter how nice or polite we were, sometimes members of her family would be locked out and we'd let them pass through our house. This is a basic neighbourly thing to do. Her family have never done that for us. During a panic attack i'd asked her partner to simply dial the ambulance's number, as when i have panic attacks, or as an epileptic my body is preparing for a seizure, her partner refused yet as god would have it my sister was on her way home. You don't have to be best friends with someone. You just have to try and forgive them in your heart, so you can move on. Resentment taints the ability to trust, it creates a barrier not just between you and someone that made the wrong choices, acted in the wrong way, was negative, hostile and wicked. Celebrate your empowerment, celebrate your free mind. One day people will bring that person's name up, you'll hear a vicious or decietful comment that person made, you may bump into that person on the street, and you will feel nothing anymore. They will mean nothing and all their power is gone.SET YOURSELF FREE!!!

Saturday, 16 July 2011

Top funniest website find this week: I hate him.com

It's true, i am not kidding. There is a website online called i hate him. com. Who would have guessed it. A site to vent all your anger and frustrations about someone you truly loathe. There are over 600 stories, which means over 600 people decided to start a delicious rant about some guy in their life. www.Ihatehim.com


No kidding, this is actually real. Someone actually took the time to market this website, paid money for a domain, used their networking abilities both online and offline. Then again when people need to vent, they need to vent.

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