Looking For

Not a man 
Whose tall and dark, 
Fairskinned 
And has no spark, 
Pretty face, 
With pretty eyes, 
Pretty shoes, 
And pretty ties, 
Flashy clothes, 
And flashy cars, 
Flashy things, 
Hide who you are 
Not a beauty 
In his sight, 
Not a man, 
Who awes 
his might, 
Not a man, 
Who'll love myself, 
Or comfort, 
And keep myself. 
You, 
Are not the heart of me, 
Not, 
My rock, 
And not my tree, 
Not the shoulder, 
For me to lean, 
Not the one, 
Who'll keep me mean 
Been, 
And gone, 
Many times before, 
I was whom 
I was searching for.

Written by Otatade Iseghohi Okojie

Dealing with mixed messages

image by : Takemetoanotherplace

Mixed messages, the bane of dating for the single entrepreneur. If your giving your attentions to someone who is giving you mixed messages, it means that person is unclear. A house built on poor foundations cannot stand . In the long term there is one person guaranteed to get hurt, that person is you. Ask the person your interested in where you stand. If there actions continue to show you the opposite of their words, back away and decide to either focus on building your self esteem up, or entering that dating pool and finding someone better suited to you. Someone who knows exactly what they want.

Dont involve yourself  with a greedy gourder. Sometimes people like our affections and all the things that come with us, but dont want to sacrifice. They dont want to commit. How many women or men have been there. Youre constantly chasing someone who appears to be interested, yet when you really want them to step up, it's a completely different ball game. Focus on you, on building yourself up and building yourself esteem up, i say it time and time again. Our outer selves is just the shell, our inner selves are where our vulnerabilities lie, we must build ourselves up so were strong from within. That way its harder for the wrong type of people to come in and try and play games with us.

There is no shame in asking where you stand. If we dont ask the right questions, we dont get the right answers.

Why he cant take his eyes off you but wont ask you out?

Picture by beautiful nobody


How frustrating. The guy of your dreams keeps looking at you, and it's not the yikes you disgust me kind of look. Its those lingering stares you see in the movies, you know, the ones that make you freeze midway into your popcorn. Damn, you want that moment, the hypnotised stare, the nervous, "i er..i like you a lot, will you..." Yet your cap'n Romeo stud slash prince charming is turning this into a marathon. Simply put, you wont actually know until he tells you, or he gets comfortable enough to tell someone your close to. Maybe you make him nervous. I remember liking someone that made me so nervous i used to cross the street everytime i saw him.

Hypnotised by phoenixkeyblack

Are you sensing this dreamboat is trying to get close? Is he always licking his lips, do people keep telling you they saw him watching your bum,  asking questions about you, likes and dis likes, finding ways to be of assistance,  warming up to it. He just needs to be a bit more comfortable in his skin, so he can be the alpha male he worships on tv. Get the lay of the land, and then go for what he wants. If your picking up signs of shyness, smile more often when you see him, don't turn yourself into a macleans toothpaste advert, just a subtle smile will do the trick for now. Maybe even a polite compliment here and there, Then simply go back to all the amazing topics you were discussing with the person in front of you.

The smile will invite him in. If he starts happening to be where you are, doesn't disappear like someone running from debt collectors everytime he sees you, narrowly missing the bus right in front of him, sounds like a plus to me, my love. If you keep getting mixed signals from him which most shy guys tend to give because of their terror of the opposite sex, step back a bit. All men like a challenge and love to chase. Sometimes guys wont follow up for other key reasons, he's seeing someone already , he's not ready to date, he has other options, he's dealing with a broken heart,is insecure and doesnt feel he has much to bring to the table. In the meantime whilst he's working those gorgeous issues out in his muddled head, youre still foot loose and fancy free. YOUR AVAILABLE! So feel free to talk to, and let the other guys who do have the courage to step up, and introduce themselves. They could be great to talk to, and have a laugh with. So long as you dont exhibit yourself as some sort of playboy pornstar, there's nothing wrong with you socialising.It shows your likeable, and everyone likes desired things.