Fight for fun and fruitfulness

image by Mothykyuu

Fight for what you want. Go for it because you only live once. I'll say this a thousand times. It's weird that i say it so many times on redebony but it's the truth, so many people in life, live it afraid. They are in this natural passive state of fear, and their so used to being afraid sometimes they don't realise that is what their feeling. sometimes if you don't try. If you don't tap into the frequency of the explorer, you will not venture into the unknown and see what you need to see, find the answers you need to find, know what's right for you or who is right for you. It's so easy to slump back in life and let everybody else live, because were just so scared to do. Scared of being judged. What will other people think of us? Lets rise above what they think? Decide that it's not about what they think, or who they are. We respect ourselves, lets continue to do that. And not let envious people rotten with their own inferiority complex , try and drag you through the mire of their own pain. Focus on fighting for what you want. Focus on fighting for who you are, and refuse to let anybody steal your joy, and take your strength from you. Remain focussed on your goal.

Celebrate who you are!!!

People can tell you that your worth nothing. Useless, pointless, a waste of space. Yet it's not what they say that counts, but what we think of ourselves. Human beings seem to need perpetual validation. We need to feel we're good enough, loved, worthy, respected. How often do we place value on ourselves? How often do we look at the reflection in the mirror and praise ourselves for the smallest achievement. Celebrate the little things you accomplish so the universe can see you take pride in who you are and it can celebrate alongside you.

Greeting greatness

Image by Slatkatajna

How do we motivate ourselves when we're down? When our self esteem has shot to pieces. We can think of the great ones that have gone before us, model their behaviours and the methods they used to get to where they needed to be. We can think of those that have failed us and the glorious Polaroid expressions on their faces when we do succeed, or we can think of our family and those who support us. Most importantly we have to think of us and remember exactly where we see ourselves a few years from now. The image, the vision, the actions. What you do now will define where you end up in years to come. It's up to you what actions you take to set the clock in motion, greatness isn't sweet words.

People pleasing and why no doesn't make you an outlaw

image by: Heather Wallet Rivet

People pleasing is one of the hardest things to do in life. Sometimes we disappoint those we love when we step outside the bracket of validating their needs. The people who love you may become disappointed in you, angry, distant for sometime, but if the love is real, then it remains. The problem with people pleasing is we spend a lifetime saying yes, when sometimes we want to say no. With that comes a hint of resenntment, anger within ourselves, because we're too scared to say no. Scared of the rejection, the potential to be alienated, the sadness that comes with their hurt and anger, and the labels we might get. If someone is angrytalk to them and ask them what they need. If it's space give them the space and distance they require, but do not be afraid to say no. You said no for a reason. It wasn't because you hate them, or you were being cruel. You said no because yes wouldn't have been the right thing to say.

Other people's insecurities

image by:ineedahero




Sometimes we get led on by other peoples insecurities. A guy whose got low self esteem may see he's getting attention from a girl / woman he's not actually interested in. A woman may go on a series of dates after an epic breakup with a guy she's not especially interested in. Everybody wants to feel wanted, sadly some of us go about it the wrong way. If we can't get the affections for the person we like, we make the mistake of settling for the wrong person. When you find yourself being the wrong person, painful as it is, you had a lucky escape. Who wants a lifetime of excuses, playing second fiddle in a life that could be better.Could be happier. The question we have to ask ourselves is, not how much do we love them? Or how much do they love us ? How much of our own personal happiness are we willing to sacrifice on someone that's not even vaguely sure.

Quiztime for Love: Why your allowed to ask questions

Hypnotic. That feeling you have when you really like someone and they invite you into their world. It's like the high of being on a theme park ride. Exhilarating, scary, nerve wracking, exciting. Sometimes that magical mood overwhelms us, and we don't think with our rational thoughts. We don't ask key questions such as, is this person right for me? Will they value me as a partner? Are they loyal? Have they shown so far that they respect me? Am i looking for fun or am i looking for a future? Am I looking for something in this person that I can't find In myself?



Ask the questions you need to ask, it doesn't demolish the romance. It adds some structure where sanity can sometimes be missing. It also makes us more aware that any form of love, romance, passion, should be reciprocated, and when were paying attention, we can see when it's not. It saves the painful plummet of heartbreak, or the chaos that comes with mistrusting our choices and skills of perception . How much are these person's actions matching their words? Do they actually like me, or am i being led on by my own romanticism. For the record all passion has it's high's then pen ultimately....it's lows. Are these feelings you are brave enough to pursue. So far what are their actions telling you about their character....consistently?
image by Hyeedaa

Life:The teacher with the stick (Embracing painful lessons)

Life dolls out lessons.
Painful lessons that end up in self blame or us blaming other people. Throughout much of my pain especially with dating, or partners, even friendships. The message was, value yourself. Respect yourself, admire yourself. It's a lesson that takes a life time to sink in. It's a lesson that takes much analysis, over analysis, projection, draining. It's an exhausting lesson. It's hard to play the blame game on yourself, especially when someone has acted appaulingly to you. Take responsibility for your choice, and your agenda. It's tough, many times in life we find ourselves knowing what to do and ending up hypocrites. Remember this though, it was a lesson learned. For example that painful experience with a guy that pretended to be Mr wonderful, who hurt your feelings and lowered your self esteem, you've seen what you need to see. He can never approach you pretending to be Mr nice Guy, those rose tinted glasses are gone, that guy who seemed to spend a lifetime trying to get your attention and when he got it acted like an arsehole, will think twice before approaching you again, the guy who appeared to like you then began to loose interest as soon as others started whispering in his ear, will think twice before desperately hunting you down. You would have changed, you will have something he can never grasp, confidence and self respect. He will look but think twice about touching, will gaze but even the concept of speaking to you, will terrify him, because you have changed. Your stronger, more confident in yourself, happier and completely unavailable. The sad thing about guys like this is that some of us are actually stupid enough to try. Women i've spoken to have often cracked this joke, 'they always come back,' because sadly some guys who seem to have crawled out of the dirt, become drawn to you once more. When they see that they've lost you. All your attentions, and your affections, or there's a possibility they could. Do not be swayed by sulking, or words with cinnamon and honey, the fantasy of who they were has changed, the reality of who they are lives on. Embrace the lesson even if it's painful, the universe is trying to tell you something.

image by (proud of being strange)

Wishful thinking wasted time: How to piss over procrastination

Wasted time. We can never get it back. Wether it's those five minutes, ten minutes, twenty five minutes of our lives we spend in procrastination mode. That clock shows no mercy. Take action, take a risk, on something you care about,are passionate about, or find yourself quizzing that stubborn wooden brain of yours. Be the sponge. Take the risk, even if we fail. We cannot spend or waste our time quizzing ourselves on what could have been. We beat ourselves up in life,kicking sawdust in our eyes. It could have been perfect if we'd only done it like this, or worked our way around that. No wonder why many of us spend much of our lives walking on pins, tiptoeing on giant needles. What if i told you you'd fail the first time,second, twelfth, tenth,100th, how many chances are you willing to take on something you can visualise so perfectly in the peaceful waters of a calm mind. We fail, and we bounce back. Were sore, damaged, broken, cautious, but we bounce, and we have a story to tell, a 'how i met your mother' i call it, 'or how i changed the world.' That is what your minutes, seconds, hours, weeks and months are for. If enoughs enough fine, but you dont waste time, when your learning something valuable you might be able to teach someone else.

That's right, we are all teachers, be it by talk, or be it by actions, everyday the people who come across us learn something about us, and something about themselves.his is your life, and you cant live it to anybody else's standards but yours, it will destroy you. Demand the best from yourself, and piss over any concept of procrastination. Fear can sometimes be reliable and warns us if were going too far. Fear in relation to growth, tells you there's time to be used. A sentence, a sketch, a spidergram, building the actual object of our mental design. You are the architect, and that future your looking forward too, wont happen by itself.