How to keep your head up when your broken hearted.

Who would have guessed it, the dreams have become an illusion. Nothing leaves you as sore and mistrustful as dealing with a broken heart. All those future plans left cremated, and absence really does make the heart grow fonder. The longing is enough to leave you gnawing at your pillow in frustration. Enough of that.

If it could have worked, it would have worked. There were two people in the relationship, and two people needed to put in the work. Give calling obsessively to ask why your partner decided to demolish both your hopes and dreams. The "i need to talks" lets work things out, i don't understand. The hateful rants and "how dare you do that to me's!" I dont deserve it. It's all blah for now. Give them space, but most of all give yourself the time you need to heal. You may need to talk just to understand exactly where you stand, fair enough, yet in the meantime.

Hang out with friends
Socialise
Mix, meet new people
Focus on a goal or set about accomplishing something you gave up on
Talk to people about it
Write a letter which you may or may not decide to send
get a journal to document your feelings. Writing helps purge the soul
Focus on building your self esteem
Get a new hobby
Give yourself time to heal.It will take time. Accept this
If you're brave enough go on a few dates
Cry a lot, because it's completely allowed
Keep fit and exercise, just because they've let you go, doesnt mean you have to let yourself go. Obviously we all go through the phase where food becomes our ultimate best friend. You have to get past that.

If your ex boyfriend or girlfriend calls you up consistently deciding that they want to give you the frustrations of their day to day crisis. Talking friendships, but actually being too selfish to be a true friend and realise you need space right now then you need to be clear with them. You need to heal and try to move on. You're not their counsellor. If their telling you they want to just be friends, that they see no future in a relationship with you, then getting angsty or jealous when they hear you've been socialising or dating is selfish. It's not their right, you dont owe them that commitment anymore.
Do not take their envy, or sudden desperate attempts at persuasion for luncheons or dinner brunches to mean an equal relationship is on the cards, this will only bring you false hope. It means they are scared of loosing something that they believed belonged to them.
Definitely don't get lured in to being sexually intimate with them.

I will advise though that each person has their own individual perspective on how to get over a breakup, this is just mine.



image by jujubakiller

Knowing what to pay attention to

When I was younger and I had to fight my way through high school, I had a poor Habbit. It was a Habbit that made me popular with my peers, infamous for being gutsy, rowdy and fearless. I tuned my ears, tight, and would listen carefully to all the negative things other girls might have to say about me. Nasty comments, put downs, if someone was trying to bully me or make me the butt of their joke, I would confront them publicly. Ensuring that other people saw how weak they were. Despite the voracity of which I fought back, I began to feel negative about myself. Years and years later I realise my mistake. People will talk no matter what you do. Some of the greatest people in history were ridiculed and torn down, they translated the negative into a positive. They left the talkers to talk whilst they focused on building their self esteem. Growing and enhancing their authenticity. When people tear us down it can be devastating, it rakes up old wounds, different insecurities can be hurled up like vomit. Yet in the long run its not what other people think of you that defines your stance in life, it's what you think of you. Are you gonna waste time putting your ear to the wall to take in poison, or are you gonna focus on healing and growth.

image by Theumbrella

Belief

Believe beyond your circumstances. You have to it's called survival. It's the only way you can exist with a positive mindset. If you believe in failure, you will fail. If you believe in success, you will have that peaceful smile on your face whilst you climb that ladder a rung at a time. When the explosions happen, or even some dramatic flying saucer blocks your path, your mind is mapped for an exit. You have a goal to reach and nothing is gonna stand in the way of you getting there.
image  by oshrit182

Icarus: Are you too close and falling?

Icarus. The story of the boy who flew too close to the sun and came crashing down, one of the most infamous Greek myths of old. There are many Icarus in our society, people who have reached for the sun with both hands only to plummet to the earth. The many Icarus of our Icarus breed warn us how much trouble our greed could get us into,Some give a kind word in our ears warning us of the dangers of our plight, the threats that lurk like ghouls in the air. We know though that we were out of Orbit, it wasn't sheer greed it was ambition, as ammunition. Risks don't always pan out. Then we dust our Ego's off, lull our insecurities to sleep the best we can, and hurl ourselves back on the bucking bronco. We're allowed to take risks, risks that lead to positive progress. You only live once
image by catgirlkakari

Elastic mindset:How far can you fly?

Expect the best not just for yourself, of yourself. Have faith in who you are and what you can accomplish, a loosers mindset will set you back 1000 paces, a winners mindset will push you forward. When trial meets triumph, you'll be able to say with much amusement to your doubters, "see I told you I could do it." yet it's not about them, it's about you. How far can such an elastic mind stretch and expand. When I was younger I used to have this saying, "if you told me I couldnt fly, I wouldn't believe you." Now I'm older I say it, and despite all the mist and the smoke in my eyes, if you asked me what I can see?.....I still see that. Someone determined to push forward with such granite belief. We all have that deep within ourselves. Wether it's dancing, singing, being the fastest person to down a whisky bottle in a minute, if someone told you you couldn't do those things you wouldn't believe them, because you've seen it with your visible eye.....Now i'm not saying i can flap my wings and take off like a bird. It's a metaphor, for faith and belief.

image by 123 Stella

Recycling respect

Fury gives us amnesia. In rage we forget a friend who sat and listened to our tears. The colleague who supported us during a troubling time, and the family member who seemed to have the answers even when we thought we didn't need them. In fury we become our own lawyers, justifying everything with bullet proof arguments. I've been angry many a time, enraged, pissed off, but when the storm cools most days I can look myself square in the mirror, because despite my anger I'm not scared to put my hands up and say "I was wrong. Sorry."  There are people who literally cant bare to apologise, even if they know they were wrong. A potential apology is replaced by cover up gestures, maybe someone you know screwed up insanely and their bad behaviour is usually smoothed over by jokes, or a "i accidentally pressed your number on my phone," type of comment. Maybe there's a guilty tone in their voice, dont let the anger over take you. Be honest and say. "Apologising doesn't make anyone weak. Were close and i show you respect, im allowed to want some respect back." It's called recycling. Having a humble heart does not make someone weak. People who respect you know when they've crossed a line, they apologise because they respect you. Wether it's pride, or ego, when you take a stand against someone's poor behaviour, they'll think twice before doing it. Saying sorry isn't tainted.

image by Ryo says meow

Climbing Fences: Trust and why you should Let the world in (again)

If you let me see beneath your beautiful;
If you let me see beneath your wonderful.....

Emily sande and Labyrinth lyrics
How often do we find it hard to let others get close. Close enough to see beyond the barriers we put in place. Barriers that sometimes look like tidy garden fences, then you get close enough and you see it's the great wall of China. Some of us are bold enough to flood the world in. We say to ourselves if you can take me, then i'm ready for you. Others have been made shy through pain, trauma or damage. We let them tip toe in like fingertips across a new keyboard. We invite our 'strangefolk' one slice of pie at a time. We are so neatly cotton wrapped in old regrets, the fear of sinking to the bottom and watching everything come appart, watching those who we grew attached to leave, because their too many flaws we had which they didn't see coming. Suitcases packed, jet pack at the ready. Here's a lesson that I learned the hard way. When your on your last legs, damaged, broken, or simply vulnerable, the real people show themselves. Not the plastic shapes. Or the contacts that are great to talk to when your life's neatly folded. The real people suit up, and their ready to duke it out with you, because everything else before that was a test. Their comfortable to show you if your employing their the person you should be hiring. If you've alienated yourself from everyone because someone you loved so dearly let you down, or showed you something you didn't want to see. I've been there many times before, you have to start letting the world in a smile or a slice of pie at a time. There is growth in isolation of course. Loneliness leads us to ponder a whirlwind of thought. Yet whilst we play hide and seek with the world, were missing out. On potentially good people, adventures, clues that lead to great ideas, potential connectors for whatever scheme you're working on. The right people will be willing to take the time, to scale that fence of yours, and land on your doorstep or even in your backgarden. Letting people in doesn't guarantee everything will be amazing and they'll be immaculate in character; it doesn't mean people will never disappoint you in life, it means that you're stronger than any jack in the box situation, and you bounce back.

image by typepper

Navigating to need: How to get things done!

Make what you want what you need, so there are no room for excuses. There's nothing more frustrating than being stuck on planet idea, with no consecutive action towards it. You find yourself amongst a lifetime of great ideas and bad strategy. The worst strategy of all being the favourite, curl up in front of the tv, talk to your friends about how great-no amazing your idea is, and hoping people pat you on the back for how intelligent you are. People will get tired of giving you high fives with absolutely no action and no result. Laziness is the poor man's best friend. Hopefully we are trying to proove to ourselves, not only are we not lazy but were also not afraid of a challenge. Here are the top key needs that are necessary before you face this.

1) First of all smile, it's not torture. You are setting up a series of events that are changing your lifestyle and changing the way you see yourself.

2)Remind yourself why this is fun! Fun! Fun!

3) List all the reasons why it is a necessity you get this goal accomplished.

4) Map out a plan of action. Strategy,strategy,strategy
What is your strategy? What are steps Ato Z? Who are you gonna call?...hopefully not ghostbusters

5) Start researching, and produce a portfolio of people who have done what you want to accomplish. What are their backstories? How many times did they fail? Who did they connect with to try and accomplish this goal?

6) If you could accomplish your goal by next week? Next month even? How would you feel? Visualise yourself, hold unto that feeling and let it push you forward

7) As much as fear is a great deterrent it's also a great motivator. What are the downsides of you not taking action and accomplishing this goal?

Anger: How to deal with narcissistic people

Anger is defective when dealing with  nasty narcissistic people. You may think sparking yourself up with fury, being the one person that will take them on makes you the hero. Sadly sometimes by default we find ourselves turning into that which we despise the most. Push down on your clutch, that is not your destination. Maybe youre the type of individual that believes if i just show this person the error of their ways, they learn they cant do cruel things to decent people, they'll change. Change is a choice that comes from within. Let their own vicious spirit disempower them. Focus on running your race. If you become the target of their abuse, or malice, make yourself like teflon with your goals,passion, and eagle eyes on your own life and ambitions.If you can make a positive change in your own life, you can make a positive change in the lives of those worthy enough to deserve your attentions. Everybody has insecurities and weak people especially narcissistic strategist will go out of their way to make you look weak so they can feel strong. That momentary high lasts only for a minute, in private these people are often bought crashing down with their own reality. The holes, gaps, and longings they have. The envy they feel for you and others is like an acid in their throat. In no way must you allow their energy to tie up with yours. In no way must you allow yourself to be plagued, condemn and emotionally whipped, by the inferiority complex which rests perched on their shoulder, like a parrot in their ear. You are worth ten of them, and they know it. Anger leads to blind strategy, it's as if your crutches have been whipped away from you, and there you are stumbling on the pavement. Walk tall, with your head up, as though it were touching the moon. You are worth ten of them......you need to remember because everytime they wind you up, or you hear something nasty they've done to someone else, you'll feel that shock of anger, and you'll need to co ax yourself off that ledge.

image by Meagan Marie

How to stop jumping to conclusions

It's easy to jump to the worst conclusions, especially when you've been through the worst. Everyone becomes a suspect for our fear and old wounds release the puss that makes us emotionally chlaustrophobic. An ex cheated on you, your current boyfriend is consistently running late, a best friend was spreading lies about you, what are all these secret meetings your other friends are having without you, your boss wants an impromptu meet, your nerves have gone into over drive. Have more than one conclusion you jump to. Conclusions are such final things. When we consistently make the wrong ones we keep ourselves paralytic with fear and paranoia. We begin to separate ourselves from people were close to. Making snap judgements whilst treading on the eggshells of our mind. Accept this, no matter what someone's intention, agenda, or feeling is, you will rise above it like a phoenix.Maybe it's gut instinct that has the wheels of your mind spinning in motion, there's something about that person you just dont trust? Trust you. Trust your own strength. You've come back from negative people and sinister agenda's many times before. Focus on giving your time to people you do trust, your attention to people who you do believe respect you enough not to violate such sweet raport. Don't waste your time judging to conclusions, you'll either end up crazy, mistrustful, or creating a wide berth between you and people there need be no complaint with. Whatever they do, is their problem. Focus on you, your life is for living, is it really worth wasting it on taking notes. I know, i've wasted a lot of time only to find out, sometimes the conclusions were either wrong, or if they were right.....realising i should have focussed my energy on something else.If you suspect somethings wrong...ask? Passive aggressiveness will get you nowhere. Face it, jumping to conclusions wont make anyone happy, especially not you.

Image by justice shock

How to deal with feeling left out

Feeling left out? As though your different.....one things for sure your not a Martian right now. Who knows maybe Martians are actually cool. Youre allowed to feel different and experience that platelet shift of not being like those around you. Guess what? Connection is needed.Venture out seek like minded positive and ambituos people. Dressed up,or dressed down, remind yourself that you are something special.Worthy of love and companionship. Meeting new people can be exciting, it's not always plain scary. Seeing what you have in common with them, inviting them for dinners, parties, keeping them up to date, and hearing their good news. That's fun. We all have moments when we feel left out, or the people who knew us, begin to feel like aliens in our carefully padded world.Talk to the people you love and care about explaining that you feel slightly estranged. If it's not being able to find the time to keep up, make time....there's always a fold somewhere. Reach out and meet new people, or get busy and focused on developing who you are. Change is inevitable in life, when the tide moves, we have to move with it. Sharing your emotions is very important, nobody's psychic. They may not know that their conversations with their new friend about all these flashy gadgets you cant afford is making you feel bad about yourself;maybe they've overloaded on time with their current partner, and now their dating that person they seem to know everything about his/her friends, yet sadly they keep missing key things that have taken place in your life. Express how youre feeling. Hard as it is, try not to blame them for your emotional inbalance right now. This feeling of lack comes from within, the fear of being left behind comes from within. If your feeling lost, it means you have to find yourself. In life we deal with these feelings over and over again. We have to master our own mental and emotional strength to beat them.The biggest key is building confidence, and knowing in your heart, that those who love you will always want to see you or spend time in your company, because there's something unique about you. If your feeling left out because of a lack of progress, your time will come. Fight to be happy for when it does. There are people who have achieved goals and are more miserable than if they'd made any plans. image by Stephart09

I love this video Joel Osteen: Knowing what to ignore

I love this video. I probably posted this already, if i have i'm happy to say....im posting it all over again. It is impoortant to know what to ignore. It's tough to know what to ignore. We are quickly and so easily dragged into someone else's mess, unhappiness and frustrations. There are many times in my life i wasted on negative people, only to step back and reassess. I'm not like them. As bitchy as they are, as unhappy as they are. Everything they say is a reflection of their own discontent. You could have ten people, a hundred people, even 10,000 people joining them to criticise and condemn who you are. Especially if youre a positive person or attempting desperately to move forward joyfully and gracefully with your life. Learning to ignore saboteurs and back stabbers is one of the hardest things we will fight to accomplish in our lives. We have to accept, they are unimportant people, crowing to hide their insecurities about themselves behind you. We are all flawed and mechanics trying to fix our live's, so fight to focus on that.

Crucifying your critics

Words hurt. Their like chipped glass breaking the surface of the skin, letting the blood taint flesh. Words hurt. I've experienced words that are a corker and catapulted the most immaculate insults. No matter what people say it can not take away simply from who we are. Critics love to criticise, haters will always hate. They do this because you are a threat to them in some way. Because their jealous, or because their not intelligent enough to invest their time doing something more positive. They think the universe will wait whilst they Throw stones. They expect time and age to take pause, or take some leave of absence whilst they shine the dirt off their stones and bring out the binoculars. When I was in high school the ladies had a saying for ridiculous people that do ridiculous things, "you've got time." Now that we're older I understand these girls understand the relevance of this statement. Remind yourself that you are Teflon and fight to hold unto your joy. If someone needs to pull you down to make themselves feel strong, soon enough others begin to see through them. Whilst their busy being clear as cling film, you focus on building your life and holding unto your joy. Happiness does not last forever. Life's tide is always changing, hold unto yours for dear life

image by Ivanandreevich

Laughter as strength medicine

Laughter is strength. People don't know this, we watch action movies van damme, Bruce willis and so on. We decide that fighting is all about fists, but it's about so much more than that. The strength to laugh during tough times, to find humour and appreciation even in the little things is a building block for greatness. You'll know that when the shit really hits the fan, after you've crumbled, and fallen to pieces time and time again. You've got that quirky little smile on your face that says, you just can't stop me. Give it your best flipping shot.

image by meadowkite

Stirring your wheels of momentum

Walks
Tape recorder
Spidergram
Mini sketches
Rough list
wearing out the living room carpet whilst talking to yourself with tape recorder on
Playing music
Going for a jog
Reading articles
Talking to your friends or family about an idea, or a plan, saying it out loud excitedly every morning
If you dont start, you wont finish.
If you dont start you wont get to the really tough bit, that delicious gooey middle. Only when it's a task it's not delicious, most of the time not so gooey either. It's blocked. This is the challenge that will really test you, really show you exactly what your made of. I've been there many a time. The middle bit comes with a flamboyancy of emotions, From frustrated to furious and in between. It threatens our pride that were actually getting on with something. We begin to feel hostile towards our project and the feelings of inadequacy it may produce. We feel like were back at the beginning all over again. In a sense we are this is new territory, the end looks so far yet so close by. We begin to wonder if we did everything wrong. Here's the thing

You are not alone. At least 91% of the population drip between those moods. Weaving an inconsistent tune to our lives. Here's food for thought do something, write something, draw something, take action. That's how we build momentum. Momentum is how we get that vision, that 'hungry task' of ours completed. Momentum is the energy we need, that driving force, which makes us take ourselves from A to B. Which guarantees that talk is cheap, and we are doers, we take ourselves in hand and get moving. Momentum means consistency, it means that doubters who talk rapidly about you plummeting to failure can eat their own spicy words. You are who you said you are, and you can do exactly what you said you can do.
image by stijn
image by hay traveller

Music in the must: Why stalling isn't the answer

What is your must?
Anthony Robbins said whatever we make a must we do, things that we say we 'should' do barely ever happen. Or if they do happen, they happen in consistently. There are thousands probably millions of contrived bestsellers with snazzy titles, some are cheaply priced, others cost a fortune. Each book has a series of significant tips, yet things we already know, we buy them anyway, to make it appear in our minds that were doing something. I'm gonna be successful because i bought a book. There is much to learn in literature and self help books are fantastic. Yet there is a simple key, something that stirs within us and purrs like a kitten. Knowledge. Hardwork is key, consistency is the platinum key to any success.Daily repetition, having a goal insight and repeating it with obsession. Research away of course, is what you're doing working for the guy whose worth 3 million, billion, thousands. Is your formula strong. I spent years not taking the right action and hiding behind a series of self help books. Bedside books which i consumed greedily, whilst joyfully avoiding doing the actual grunt work that's needed for success. With every chapter i read over a thousand times, i would say to myself, wow your definitely taking action. I wasn't. I was hiding behind other people's effective knowledge rather than activating it. There is music in the must, make your goal your must.  Make it definitive.

Lesson learned: How to deal with ignorant people

Nobody could have predicted my older brothers success exploding as it did. Especially not those women who took it upon themselves to say something nasty or cruel.It was their own need to validate themselves.

When I was younger two black women were walking past me and my older brother. My brother is good looking, confident and charismatic. We were simply minding our own affairs, when one woman had said the words "African monkey," and her friend had laughed. I was eleven or twelve at the time. They were not stunning, photoshopped magazine or catwalk models. They were of the older generation, black as we were black, dark as we were dark. I was livid, and stood there foaming at the mouth fist tight anger pronounced. Then I glanced at my brother and to my shock he didn't even care. I couldn't believe it. How could he ignore them, they'd crossed the line, how could they use words like that especially as they were black. I learned early that people who try and make themselves seem significant because of their own lack of confidence will try every method they can. My brother wasted no time on them. These women were not even  a spec on my brothers radar.He's now extremely successful, well off and in a great financial position. I can't imagine those women are in the same position. Simply put this is how you deal with ignorant people.

Their stupidity alone exposes them for what they truly are....dumb. Focus on you and let them continue to poison their own minds and their own lives. They are their own villains.
image by scummy

Tieing up loose ends with the toxic friend

Man where do i start on this one. We've all, okay maybe 89% of us have experienced the dramatics and calamity Jane Tv that comes with having a toxic friend. You love them, they may even be your best friend but as a relationship you dont function well. The balance may be all off. Maybe your friend is selfish, needy, self involved, great when you have something good, then completely off the radar when your struggling. Do you have a friend that's a complete attention whore, a control freak, or your rolling your eyes because you've realised your friend is all of this and more.

I'm gonna surprise you by saying the loose end needs to be tied up within you, and it may not all necessarily be his/her fault primarily. It takes two to tango. Did you constantly have opportunities to tell your friend his/her behaviour was inappropriate, wrong, annoying, yet you specifically chose to take the passive aggressive route? H-E-L-LO

Maybe you gave your friend ultimatums constantly yet over time you began to accept how he/she was, let yourself get ridiculously attached to them only to see it explode in your face. I'll tell you the usual, talk to your friend and tell her your having problems, speak of your conflicts cooly and calmly, rather than allowing it to get completely out of control. Accept two things, people are who they are,and most of the time each party thinks their right. Watch out for the friend who merrily accepts all the blame, wants everything to get back to normal...Normal was them taking the piss out of you.

Outline your key points of arguments, have ready not necessarily for them, but for yourself, the things this person has done which make you feel unhappy or conflicted. If your ready to move on, dont hold it over their heads. Just make it clear you need some space from them for a while. Some people make the mistake of saying i need some space, then call their friend up because they had issues with a boyfriend.

The thing about toxic friends is they werent always toxic. Their often charming, charismatic,good fun. Sometimes their the friend who seems to covet spending so much time with you, their sharing their private details so you feel honored being a confidante to someone whose almost like the FBI. Then once the barriers come down you find yourself wishing you hadn't allowed yourself to become this person's counsellor.....WITHOUT PAY. Just kidding, the great thing about friendship is having someone to confide in.Sadly what appeared to be the love affair of the century is turning into rot.

Endings are always bitter sweet. Having cut out a friend in the past i will tell you in advance, breaking up with a friend is even harder than breaking up with a boyfriend, so you better be serious. Deciding to tell your friend of maybe ten years or so that your cutting them out, because your angry, or you've had a petty argument,may backfire on you big time. Be serious. Make sure you know exactly, 100% that this person is not right for your circle. As your trying to grow will they sabotage you? Is there a hierarchial system in your friendship where they feel your beneath them? Is their ego bigger than their braincells?

Then you have your answer. Abitter sweet escape. Maybe they simply get downgraded from friend to acquaintance. Whatever your choice, try as hard as you can do to move on positively.You dont want the bitter stain of what took place with your last friendship tainting the next ones. Forgive them in your spirit and in your heart. This disempowers them, it gives you the opportunity to heal which takes time and move on.

Don't hate yourself if your still at the point where your bitter and resentful about all the things they've done.Channel those angry emotions and use them to motivate you into positive actions for yourself and those you love around you. I'm not going to guarantee you that the next time you see them, a feeling of hatred or resentment wont wash over you. I'll guarantee you that if it does, check yourself, walk tall and confident in who you are. The message is you hurt me, but you dont own me. I'm stronger than anything you could ever try and do.

image by Rebela wanted
image by sugarcomakat

Reigning in your resources: How to make money with no money

If you can make money with no money, then you are a king. Making money i've learnt isn't about how much money you have to throw away. Making money is about financial education. How much do you know about what you want to invest your money in and your time in? If you don't know how can you acquire that information for free? Which seminars can you go to? Business networks, or communication events? Who do you know that has done it before you. How can you model what they've done and replicate it, obviously without pinching their ideas, which are probably patented anyway? Who can you go to, friends, family, organisations that will guide you through the reproduction of this.Does this one seed of bloom have the ability to expand internationally, globally. I attempted to run my own business before and learnt very quickly money isn't about how much money your willing to throw. Taking action isn't always about exhausting your piggybank or in the grownup case.....Banks. Your first resource is you: How will you organise and structure your time so you can meet goals and deadlines because that's what this will take. How will you use simple resources: Like the internet, the library,secondhand bookstore Great locations such as ebay, amazon. How will you use your local business centre: If your serious about a goal or a project guess what i learned. Your local business centre(which is free by the way) or the library should be on a first name first term basis with you. They should know you personally so they can work to your advantage tipping you on workshops, fundraisers you can contact,companies that specialise in funding projects like yours. Business advisor, you dont have to assign one that's worth billions of pounds.People can still charge you ridiculously for something, whilst knowing absolutely nothing about it. If your procrastinating on investing funds because you think you'll hit a financial wave and wipeout. Ask yourself key questions am i using the concept of a huge investment to procrastinate? Just because you put in a huge sum of money doesnt mean you'll get a huge financial return back.Research.....something i didn't do enough of. When it comes to money knowledge is always your best friend. image by tangled web

Victim vanishing act: Focussing beyond sadness

Were allowed to feel weak, vulnerable, fed up, depressed, angry anxious, panicked and them allow yourself to begin to feel empowered again. Focus on a goal you made for yourself and start tackling it. Remind yourself that you are worth more than gold, diamonds, are priceless, and worthy of a royal parade. Okay very über diva. Don't just remind yourself your accomplishing a goal, celebrate the fact that you are doing it. Cultivate a mind of praise rather than fear. You say what you do, and do what you say. Your not a talker, and the world is full of those. Time does not wait for self pity. It's nothing personal life just has too many things to do. Yet when youre in that mode dont beat yourself up even more for feeling down, because guess what?.... You'll feel down for even longer. Remind yourself in life you will have your up moments, and your down moments. It's only human, people wear masks. Sometimes the people we see flashing teeth twenty four seven are not genuinely happy. They are performing for those around them.Yet there are other people who have truly conquered a valuable lesson, if you fight to be happy. Happiness will find you. Whatever we focus on, we attract more of. image by maniowa

The muscle behind motivation

What drives you do you know? Sometimes we're motivated by anger, resentment, the need for change, the hunger to find ourselves in a better financial situation, the passion to prove a point and the need for escape. If we are the guns, our drive, which forces our actions are the trigger. What happens when a gun is fired? Instant impact. I am very much against the use of firearms, so this post isn't to encourage anyone to pick up a weapon. Actions are like bullets in the air, you never see a bullet being fired out of a gun, what you do see is the damage and the chaos once you hear that sound. Let's make positive impact instead of the negative. Once you've sounded that alarm about a goal, an ambition, a choice you are to make ensure, the impact takes place within you.This means instantly celebrate the fact that your taking charge of your personal future, instantly celebrate that you met the demands, and didn't hold yourself hostage by praying for the back handed high fives of the world around you? Can you do it? Are you really a testament to yourself? This as ive said many times on red ebony....isn't about everybody else's praise. It's about you being a testament to yourself. It is so you prove that your words instantly impact you. Quickly,privately they resonate within your being. image by 00rein00

Sizzle of social networking:Why i love them

I'm sure there are loads of negative things about social networking, if your desperate enough to find them. For example Jeremy Kyle the talk show hosts hates social networks,it gives already bored people, the opportunity to waste more time stir trouble and evade employment. social networks are extremely successful because society is driven by a need to connect.People who appear cold and distant as format, come home from an exhaustive day at work and guess what? They want to bitch about it. Not just to people at home, but to those outside of their bubble. "My day was crap," "i'm being terrorised at work," "my ex girlfriends moved on and is dating a guy i hate," " my boyfriend might be cheating on me." Translation? Is anybody else going through this agonising pain i'm feeling, the hollowness of depression, the bitter after taste of rejection and a flood of thoughts that are literally strangling the simplicity out of the world i live in. From asking questions of total strangers about their personal lives, to opening a new thread on a forum to keep conversation going about a pet hell or date catastrophe, it's open season. People actually want to reach out,make a connection. Leading world conglomerates,niche businesses or startups put themselves on sites such as Facebook and all of a sudden they have an audience. An opportunity to advertise, market quadruple profits and simply say "don't kill yourself trying to find it, we have what youre looking for." Social networks are not just for drama queens and life diva's; they're for people who want to start friendships, promote themselves,spread great ideas and share creativity. what do you think? image by davespertine

Can winning the lottery ruin your life?

There have been a few documentaries on how winning the lottery ruined the lives of people who literally overnight became worth millions. Can they truly blame it on the money though? People who became human ATM machines, or complained their money either alienated people or brought about a sense of paranoia. Money has and always will bring certain traits to light. If someone has a selfish character, or the people who were in your life show up just to play sucubus, who they are will become more apparent because their greed has more to acquire.If you feel as though your being used, take a stand. Dont throw expensive parties to exhaust what you have, and then complain the people you were advertising yourself for, actually showed up because of your advert. There are loads of lottery winners who managed their money well before hand, and managed their friends well also. When that million came, they probably handled it the way they handled most of their money, bought a few treats here and there, made some investments, then got saving again. In the area of money those who love and want to protect us will always want to protect us. Those who weave in and out of our lives, will always appear when there's a juicy treat lined up in the shadows somewhere. We have to create the barriers and the lines of distinction. What does everybody else think, can winning the lottery ruin your life or do we just accept it makes it miles and miles better?

Fighting fear with Fire:Tugging at creativity

Some lies are allowed. Like when your confidence is on its last legs, your struggling to find the motivation to take charge of a task and your goal seems so big because inside you feel so small.Talk yourself up. If anyone can do this i can do this. I've got the confidence, creativity,strength and the guts. It's already been done before. If it hasn't been, im the one to bring such a positive spectacle to light. I have the charisma, the drive, i'll find the structures to drag this rogue bull by it's stubborn horns.... i'm just about ready to show it whose boss. Maybe i am encouraging delusions of grandeur in my audience, but guess what,we are not deluded. From walking on the moon, building Spaceships,Christopher Columbus refused to believe the world was flat. For his 'delusion of grandeur' the travel industry throughout all the 'international incidences' is guaranteed to make millions every year. He unleashed the Christopher Columbus in all of us, and those who want to explore,explore. Those who want to escape, try their hand at it, simply because there is somewhere to explore and escape too.

Remind yourself, I'm not failing I'm learning. I can beat this fear. I just need to take that one bold step. Even of I fall on my arse, the universe knows I'm trying. When your tired and feel like quitting, go to your mirror and say "I'm energised, I'm unstoppable." If your procrastinating start with a neat and tidy dot in the centre of your blank page or computer screen. Then walk away. In the next five to ten minutes ask yourself a series of questions. Then begin to scribble them on the page or computer. Maybe an image came to mind, sketch it in rough. We are allowed to produce imperfect things, because life is evolution. New ideas will come to you, this is just the foundation and your trying to make it sturdy. image by Syda Ginger image by Vantasyartz

Ditching the dating Blame game

Unintelligent Cringe worthy So not my type, Jerk....as I scribbled another list of why I should move on from the wrong guy, feelings of pain and bitterness etched in my heart, I realised something. I could spend a lifetime pointing the finger and insulting the guys I'd made the mistake of showing affections, or I could take responsibility for the poor choices I was making. I chose them. Despite knowing in my spirit these guys weren't for me, they were not guys who would respect me because they didn't especially have much respect for themselves. Life was teaching me a lesson. I could either rot where I was and end up bitter and twisted or embrace a key message, there was a lesson to learn here. Value yourself, respect who you are, and celebrate the positive choices you've made within your life. This is your life and no one else's.

You are bound to make mistakes.There is no such thing as an immaculate human being. We are all deliciously flawed.The importance of mistakes are the potent lessons we learn from them.I learned to choose who i give my time, attentions,affections too more wisely.I learned to pay more attention to character, rather than a sweet tongue, or some pretty eyes. Judge judy once said beauty fades but dumb is forever.Translated? Prize yourself.It's not ego or arrogance, it's a message that speaks volumes, you want my respect? EARN IT.Every so often you'll make a bad choice, take responsibility for it and move on. image from the texas tribune

Bounce back mentality: Combating negative self talk

Today was about to be a kick myself day. I had a plan, and hadn't predicted that when the morning rolled in, not only would I have missed out on some sleep and wake up exhausted, my frame of mind would have sunk to an almost depressed compressed state; there would be a string of rebuffs, rebuttals, insults for myself a mile long. I was furious with myself. Things needed to go according to plan, and I needed to prove I could validate myself. Life doesn't always go according to plan. We'll have high days, low days, moments when energy is sucked out from us through a straw. Do what you can on that day. Listen to what you can if it's classical music motivational speaking seminars, exercise, and take everything a step at a time. Do not overwhelm yourself with negative self talk, you will slip up and make mistakes from time to time;yet for your goal to be accomplished,these moments are where you learn the most powerful lesson.Crippling your imagination and growth with toxic put downs. Ripping yourself apart will not do the trick. Whatever this challenge is, especially if it is something positive that can carry you into a better place. You can do this,finish the biscuit bite by bite. whatever the goal, plan, ambition; remember it will take time, and time provides us with a buffet of mistakes. So we can learn from them and see how quickly we can bounce back. We are a product of our mistakes, and what defines strength, is how you handle yourself in the midst of the chaos and your recovery. For example in gymnastics we awe at how many triple somersaults and backflips a gymnast can do. Yet if you look closely what they're also marked on, is how effectively and gracefully they land. 1st Image by GDS WORLD 2nd Image by Clashed

Whistle while you work: From vision to action

Sometimes big picture visualisations, distract us from present picture reality. The project or idea we've been working on is going to take actual physical sometimes intense labour. As delicious and juicy as big pictures and starry skys are change needs work. Work that demands sacrifice. Work that makes you exhausted, frustrated, dealing with other's you may not like or plundering through miles of research, gems, and then drought. Methods, strategies, and action which you may not be ready to pat yourself on the back for. It could be years before you see even a glimmer of success, or the people around you start boom boxing their ooh's and ahs. If you dont put the work in you wont get the dream. This is what i tell myself when i'm feeling lazy, or dragging my feet. I believe in the law of attraction, and harvesting a positive mindset attracts positive things, yet when your trying to get past a milestone, i believe a good balancing act of action and reward gets the job done. image by Ivan Andreevich

Tuuuuuuuune: Raveonettes Young and Cold

Awesome track. My brother played this for me in his car, and i've been a fan of this song since.We definitely do not want to be young and cold or old and cold! Lets focus on fighting for our happiness.Great music!!!!

Wishful thinking wasted time: How to piss over procrastination

Wasted time. We can never get it back. Wether it's those five minutes, ten minutes, twenty five minutes of our lives we spend in procrastination mode. That clock shows no mercy. Take action, take a risk, on something you care about,are passionate about, or find yourself quizzing that stubborn wooden brain of yours. Be the sponge. Take the risk, even if we fail. We cannot spend or waste our time quizzing ourselves on what could have been. We beat ourselves up in life,kicking sawdust in our eyes. It could have been perfect if we'd only done it like this, or worked our way around that. No wonder why many of us spend much of our lives walking on pins, tiptoeing on giant needles. What if i told you you'd fail the first time,second, twelfth, tenth,100th, how many chances are you willing to take on something you can visualise so perfectly in the peaceful waters of a calm mind. We fail, and we bounce back. Were sore, damaged, broken, cautious, but we bounce, and we have a story to tell, a 'how i met your mother' i call it, 'or how i changed the world.' That is what your minutes, seconds, hours, weeks and months are for. If enoughs enough fine, but you dont waste time, when your learning something valuable you might be able to teach someone else.

That's right, we are all teachers, be it by talk, or be it by actions, everyday the people who come across us learn something about us, and something about themselves.his is your life, and you cant live it to anybody else's standards but yours, it will destroy you. Demand the best from yourself, and piss over any concept of procrastination. Fear can sometimes be reliable and warns us if were going too far. Fear in relation to growth, tells you there's time to be used. A sentence, a sketch, a spidergram, building the actual object of our mental design. You are the architect, and that future your looking forward too, wont happen by itself.

Drop dead dick donkey: How to get over a jerk

As much as i love the concept of karmic retribution, there's another concept i believe in which is that of loss and gain: What do i mean?Drop dead dick donkey. This means after a guy you like has humiliated you, ridiculed you, made you the butt of everyones joke, there's something else. When that laughter fades and that feeling of false heroism. Basically when all the attention runs out, because attention is like....soda, or a burger even...i cant believe i'm going there, but i am. The same things that person found attractive about you,may draw them curiously back to you again. That's right, they actually may have liked you. Maybe they weren't attracted to you, maybe there was some sort of connection there, or a potential friendship. Who knows don't play hard to get, play not to get. Whilst your licking your sorry wounds, train intensely. So you feel good in spirit and your body looks good in shape. Drowning yourself in self pity and garbage food wont leave you feeling good in the long run. Dont allow the person whose made you feel like crap be a double agent. That means being overly friendly, instantly returning text messages and phone calls, or being amused and pleased when they start lurking or shadowing you to get attention again. It's not a good thing.

They've shown you key things, they are nasty, weak, and their not a nice person. More importantly their duplicitous, they cannot be trusted. I mean seriously they can't even trust themselves to be strong. If their saying or showing one thing to you and saying really humiliating things to other people, not only do they not respect you, but they dont respect themselves. Their fake. And the last person you need is a fake armani for a gucci relationship.When we like someone we can provide a series of bizarre, deluded explanations for poor explanations. Their just confused, yet somehow they've made up their minds to boast about a series of flirtations with really uber fit individuals to their shy of their feelings, yet somehow bold enough to turn you and your feelings into a joke. Time to saddle that horse and move on to bigger, brighter, better pastures.Hit up your social network group, those gorgeous friends of yours that say all the right things. Or basically all the things that make you feel like an idiot for liking this person in the first place. Friends or even family members have a keen eye and come spot all the flaws you chose to ignore in your dream state of mind. Oh well, guess you've got a lot of socialising to do, and a lot of hot people to at least have aconversation with. Likes, dislikes, and if your interested dates,just a more positive energy, whilst you work on validating yourself.

You can do better, and the most messed up thing about guys/girls like this is they know it too. In true universe form, they become less interesting because ironically their selling point is played out. They recognise how fleeting and shallow the attention they got was, and it's back to the drawing board for them.It can begin with an apology, i just want to talk to you, a sudden show of friendliness, there's nothing wrong with being polite to someone like this, but keep it firm in mind they have no place but on the outskirts of your life. People like this can be quite manipulative and hold the carrot of "i wonder what we could have become," you wondered too, but now you have your answer. They can become whoever they want to become, you can continue being strong, happy, and positive.

Driving Life backwards...How to focus on moving forward

I wanted to scream and shriek. Fling as many things at my target as I could. Bruise an eye, batter a lip. Then I realised I would have done too much damage to myself. Often our fury, our rage is not circumstantial, we are fighting the demons of the past. Pain that lurks with cigar and glass in hand, asking us if we'd like a drink. We often comply then become drunk and dizzy with the memory of our own vulnerability. Growing up I was always told that if you left the lid off food, it would go rotten. Everything had to be covered, protected, guarded, yet the reality is if you leave anything to linger unchecked for a long time there is the possibility of rot. Check yourself, even if it's day to day, looking at goals, acknowledging old feelings, looking for ways to grow and progress. We are only our past if we live there. Driving forwards and looking backwards only guarantees a crash. Focus on the now,and get your clutch ready as you drive into the future. This is your journey you want to get to that future you envisaged.

Those mighty mistakes

What do you tell yourself when you slip up. Make a mistake.....fail.....as you call it. What we tell ourselves during the down times, when the lights are low and the shadows pace rampant define who we become. Adversity defines strength, chaos is an opportunity for courage. An opportunity to show yourself, what you can become. You are not watching anyone else's window, hovering desperately at someone else is door. You are facing yourself across a chequered board in life's wicked yet at times delicious game of chess. Many times we belittle, insult, and sometimes disregardthe work we are putting in. Disappointed that we are not getting the validation from the rest of the world, we succumb to invalidating ourselves with the fierceness and sharp acuracy of a bully. Why did you do that? That was dumb? Now you've proved them all right, why even try? You try, because the person on the floor in the ring is you, and right now you are also their support structure on the side. The coach shrieking "get the hell up!" with such voracity. Go on then get the hell up, or are you scared of heights?No your not. The greatest people in history have made some of the simplest mistakes, yet they still became great. That's because during their most vulnerable moments, they focussed on goals and what was important.I've learned the hard way and i'm still learning, if your living your life so everybody in it is happy? Your happiness is an absent stranger.We cant please everyone. Great people also make bad choices, yet we positive, driven people, get focussed and bounce back. It begins with the words you say, yep, that good old tongue. What you say you'll become is exactly what you'll become. Start with positive affirmations, then continue with positive actions, and if you make a mistake? Guess what?...mistakes happen. Anyway......how are you gonna fix it? image by Tim Wilko

David Blaine: Dynamic.Crazy. Or you?

In David blaines ted interview titled how I held my breath for 17 minutes underwater. We awe at his ability to do impossible things. Things that many would define as infinitely crazy. Some of us seek out articles about other brilliant people, hoping their genius and their gutsiness will rub off on us. There is a universe of bravely impossible things that lies within all of us. The ability to master our mindset, turn water into wine and inspire those around us. Look at who we became on that journey, look how high we thought we could soar, we couldn't fly there so we climbed there, each step, each trudge discarding the burdens of our troubled souls. We got rid of friends that said it was impossible, negative influences that turned us into oil in our skin, we put antiseptic words on scars that took years to heal, and reminded our shadows to stay at our sides. This is your journey, you may be tired now, a lot of things may have happened, you may fill excuses leaking out of your ears as you view the world from your kaleidoscope. This is what happens on any marathon, momentum is the middle man, continue to take action and fight. Your goal may not be accomplished in a week, a month, a year even, but remember you are the right athlete on the right track.

Naughty vs Nice: Nice guy nausea...Do girls really just go after bad boys

.

aurora demasi Girls don't go after nice guys, because nice guys are too nervous to ask them out? Nice guys are too nice? Too easy to leave....give me a break....Pish Posh, i read something like this in a series of articles where guys have harped on as to why women abandon them for mr hot and nasty. I know...Let's play the chameleon game. How about sometimes those 'nice' guys are not what they seem, and even more delicious, Mr nice can turn out to be Mr nasty. Some women tend to chase the hope of a good guy, no one wants to believe they made the wrong choice, and went for the wrong character. Captain charisma who turns out to be nightmare on elm street Neil. There seem to be all these generalised posts online telling men, that if your nice, you'll be walked all over, stamped on. So much lovely advice only leads to delinquent dating. You get genuinely good guys, some even slightly geekish, catch a chinese whisper and the next thing you know Mr nice is behaving like Mr nasty. Just for the record people generally go after people they are attracted to. There are some strategically dysfunctional females out there, yet there are also men who find a woman, that can care for them, love them, support them, be a partner and everything in between....some of them run for the hills, that's way dating subscribtions have quadrupled, and self help dating guides become blockbusters. People make choices not simply based on who they are now, but the version of themselves they came from. Energy has a lot to do with it, attraction, but most importantly self esteem. There are an army of stunning women with gorgeous looks and gorgeous personalities going after "Mr nice" because they had a positive male role model in their childhood and they want consistency because they've built up their confidence are goal orientated and know what they want. There are also women who are drawn to the big mouth with the bad ideas.Ultimately i've been there you end up regreting it.So if you have a best friend that's spitting poison in your ear, wether your a man or woman....acting like an arsehole wont do the trick

The question of the shy guy

It's that moment of spotlight.You're the apple of someone's eye. They may hide true identity beneath the blanket of nervous cautious gestures, a series of behaviours that make you feel platformed on a pedastal distract you.Those hypnotic stares, curious appearances, questions about you, or potential ways to be near you and share some communication. Maybe its that quirky way you twist your smile, or that belly deep laughter of yours that could warm them from head to toe. Whatever it is, the ego says yum yum i want more of this....Beauty is a minute, dumb is forever. Have you asked yourself the real reason why you are interested in this shy guy, the real reason why conversations with friends, and all your questions keep you hoisted on this one character, have you asked yourself if it's real or not. I can give you a list of positive experiences with shy guys.....which other people have had...And truly negative experiences with shy guys...truly memorable which i've had. The cloud of assumption is that shy guys are always sensitive, kind, warm, marriage material kind of guys, who will understand your inner most feelings. There are some truly great guys out there who are in search of a partner, companion, queen, and painful experiences have made them shy. Translated cautious, scared,overly guarded.Yet there are some wolves in sheeps clothing. Nasty characters, true arseholes, who take pleasure in hiding under the umbrella of shyness, then saving their poison for behind your back yet in front of an audience they save it to get laughs, be liked or have the respect they've been missing at your expense,the perfect whipping words, cover up the lack of confidence they have in themselves.Not all shy guys are like this.Not all of them crave spotlight attention, after feeling ignored or even invisible. I cant tell you the amount of shy guys i've come across who once they get comfortable enough, some of the polite tendencies disappear. Although you can argue people strategically pick who they'll respect and who they'll tear to pieces in lifes game of chess.Wolf in sheeps clothing? Who knows..I actually put this up because someone frustrated argued , "their not automatically saints just because their shy guys. People are people, and guys are guys." I'm not by any means trying to make any shy guy look like a serial killer, although everyone has their dark side. I guess i'm posing the question, if not to women out in the world, What's wrong with happy, confident, self assured guys, that you dont need to analyse as arithmetics, or dont need to fix? I had an experience where a guy was 'shy' when i'm about, and when i showed him some warmth, he was like a vampire going after blood. A truly pathetic one though. Initially i had taken an interest in him because i liked the attention, and disecting the curious behaviours,then things took a turn for the worse, and i didnt see but heard with my own ears how captain charismatic he could be. Yet there are amazingly honest, kind and genuinely warm shy guys, who are just that....kind, warm and loving.

How to deal with those who say you cant: Facing the impossible dream

Everyone loves's a dreamer. Their ambition melts off the tip of their tongue like churned butter. They are the artist painting a vision of beauty, and the sales person who has you mentally on the fringe. We all like being dreamers, and someday, sounds so exciting, and so safe. Yet in this lifetime you'll meet people that will choke your 'someday blues' aggressively ask you the intricacies of such a master plan. "Who, what, where, which time, give me a date, give me a number? Explain this goal thouroughly to me, it makes no sense." These people are your best friend. They force us to take actions, make plans, provide timelines, and prove ourselves to ourselves. Talk is very cheap. Anyone can define themselves a mastermind, a leader,a guru of some kind, yet without the hard work and the goals, the structure and discipline to complete these glorious visions, they are heading for a huge fall. Failure is talk without discipline, goals without strategy, a lack of consistency. I've learned the hard way, and i'm still learning, lack of consistency leads to failure that could easily be avoided. Every successful person has to fail. Yet i learned from a great person "it is important to not build your castles in the sky." To some that may appear to be a negative statement, yet somehow, i think it's empowering. So how do you deal with people who say you cant? Step 1 Know you can and decide the strategy, steps, and timeline your going to do in order to achieve your goal. Step 2 Do your research. Research isn't just for knowledge with a foundation, research also assists you in validating the possibility of your accomplishment. Who has done what you've done? How have they done it? How can you make your model better? Step 3 There are 24 hours in a day, constantly ask yourself the key question. "Am i being lazy? Have i made this excuse before? How will i feel a year from now when someone says 'patronisingly' 'so hows that little dream of yours coming along then?" If your goal is to loose weight, and your sitting on your arse just watching tv, remind yourself that most of the people in the shows you like make it a must to look fit and healthy. Or your dream is to make that first million guess what...most of the people in the talk shows you like, or the films you worship are making their money, whilst their eating up your time. The most popular reason people want to make money is because they hate their jobs. How desperate are you to leave? Step 4 Take action. Constantly remind yourself, there are no excuses good enough. I'm taking no prisoners, i'm doing this....and then do it. Step 5 Network effectively then get down to business. Many people become caught up in networking, especially business networking because their around positive people who consistently tell them, their ideas are amazing, their guaranteed success, and implimenting 'these strategies' will give them an edge over the competition. That is not always true. The skills you need to learn are out there on the field. You need the failures to give you the wisdom you need to succeed, you cant get that trapping yourself in a scenario where everyone is patting you on your shoulder saying 'your so amazing'. You need to be out there learning from your competition, it's great to have people build you up when you fall appart, but the world doesn't always agree with you. Step 6 Use your reasons to motivate you, no matter how silly they are. From an ex husband moving on, to feeling utterly humiliated, use the negative to channel the positive. Those reasons will not, let you down. Their haunting you, and so will the need to achieve those ambitions you set for yourself. Step 7 Everytime you accomplish a goal reward yourself with some praise or treat yourself to simple pleasures. Maybe a trip to the cinema, a shopping spree...with a budget of course, a gold star on a chart this is you, 'making things happen. Denying those utterly delicious excuses.' Step 8 Prepare for some casualties. That's right, sacrifices may have to be made. Your best friend whose pocket you literally live out of, those tv shows you worship as addiction, constantly inform them. Your busy, but you will be able to catch up as soon as you can. Your just trying to get this done, it's not personal. Watch out for needy friends, they conveniently decide they 'neeeed you even more' now your attentions are elsewhere.

Step 9 Get as much information anywhere you can....and use it. Many people hoarde information by the truck loads, and all these flaws i describe i've had them. They show up at every event, seminar, workshop, download or spend a fortune on every book, they possibly could....and it's all ignored post initial excitement. Knowledge is power, use the information given to you. Anthony Robbins once said, "Success leaves clues," follow those tracks, most of the successful people you meet in life, have all followed the same patterns. Step 9 Extraodinary people put in the extraodinary hard work. Those contacts or clients aren't gonna come to you if your spending the entirety watching television. It's a game of rabbit versus hound, i'm not saying chase them down and kill them. I'm saying hunt with all the passion, gusto, and free spirit you have in you. I wouldn't recommend begging, nobody likes a beggar. I would reccommend being active. Step 10 Have patience. Anything that is meant to flourish will take it's time. Beautiful trees dont explode with vibrant colours the day you plant them. They take their time to grow or expand, till you awe at what they become. All in all those 'cant do' people should be used to motivate you. If as soon as someone say's you cant achieve something you throw in the towel and sulk, oooops there goes your dream. I learnt the hard way, ambition isn't all about talk. It's like a game of baseball, the pitcher, pitches and you just keep running, determined to hit a home run, without looking back. So take action, do something today, and remember extraodinary people take extraodinary actions.

The Bully and the puppet

If your expecting a puppet to be independant and speak up for themselves let alone you, your living a long wake dream. I remember many a time experiencing a bully, and their little side platter friend, and thinking "speak up for me, you know you want to," sadly the reality is, the weak dont suddenly transform themselves into superman over night. The bullies weak side kick, are just happy the attention is not centred on them. So long as their not the butt of the jokes and the laughing stock it's all good. What they tend to do is either join the 'mob' of critics, and crusades against you, whilst pathetically sneaking to your side when no one's there, or conveniently disappear off the radar. Some puppets will allow themselves to be brainwashed, parroting the words an envious bully has provided, or my all time favourite, a weak bullies side kick will try and compete with others for the bullies affection, trying to show how nasty they can be. " I'm like you, i fit in with you, don't reject me, please accept me," they are desperate to be validated, and sometimes your used as the footstool in order to make that happen. Although dont kick yourself too hard, now that person has laid their cards out on the table, you see them for what they are and all they'll be....WEAK.PATHETIC.AND GLORIOUSLY SPINELESS. Now do you think someone that's weak, pathetic, and gloriously spineless, has self esteem issues? Yep! Do you think someone that low can ever look themselves in the mirror and feel genuinely proud of themselves, or do you think that person will always resent that part of themselves that makes them not only unable to stand up and defend you, but unable to standup against a jealous bully? Yep

How do you deal with this? Guess what? You dont, the universe has a very powerful way of bringing things in rotary motion. What the hell is she talking about? What goes around comes around. Maybe you thought that person was a friend, and they surprised you with how absent they could be. Maybe that person was a guy who seemed completely taken with you, and all it took were a few jealous people with their own agenda's to run commentary, and this guy shows you every nasty side you could see.The sad thing about some situations is the same people that merrily joined others to tear you to shreds, learn the hard way that nasty people are not especially particular about who their gunning and slumming, so long as their making themselves appear strong.It's not they love crab, and are allergic to lobster. It's in with rubbish and out with rubbish, they dont care. Soon enough the same person who conveniently allowed themselves to be puppeted by a domineering, insecure,control freak will find themselves moaning, or whining to someone else about being mistreated. Or even more hillarious they'll try and call you up and go 'hey i know what you were talkin about man', they'll even try and create some sort of bond or 'fictional friendship' so they feel stronger, and you guys out number the bully. They are 'emotional parana's' run with the speed of light.

As much as it sucks to have that feeling of bitterness or betrayal, keep this in mind, 'it's poetry man'. They have just served you a delicious dish of not what im looking for, and believe me, people like that always want to bond. Think of yourself with the importance of an employer, if they've offered you that as a cv, sorry they havent made the cut. You need stronger people for when the 'shit hits the fan' not insecure deserters. Focus on the positive people in your life,and leave god to deal with such victims of society. Ultimately people like this end up resenting themselves for not having more strength.