Tuesday, 30 October 2012

How to keep your head up when your broken hearted.







Who would have guessed it, the dreams have become an illusion. Nothing leaves you as sore and mistrustful as dealing with a broken heart. All those future plans left cremated, and absence really does make the heart grow fonder. The longing is enough to leave you gnawing at your pillow in frustration. Enough of that.

If it could have worked, it would have worked. There were two people in the relationship, and two people needed to put in the work. Give calling obsessively to ask why your partner decided to demolish both your hopes and dreams. The "i need to talks" lets work things out, i don't understand. The hateful rants and "how dare you do that to me's!" I dont deserve it. It's all blah for now. Give them space, but most of all give yourself the time you need to heal. You may need to talk just to understand exactly where you stand, fair enough, yet in the meantime.

Hang out with friends
Socialise
Mix, meet new people
Focus on a goal or set about accomplishing something you gave up on
Talk to people about it
Write a letter which you may or may not decide to send
get a journal to document your feelings. Writing helps purge the soul
Focus on building your self esteem
Get a new hobby
Give yourself time to heal.It will take time. Accept this
If you're brave enough go on a few dates
Cry a lot, because it's completely allowed
Keep fit and exercise, just because they've let you go, doesnt mean you have to let yourself go. Obviously we all go through the phase where food becomes our ultimate best friend. You have to get past that.

If your ex boyfriend or girlfriend calls you up consistently deciding that they want to give you the frustrations of their day to day crisis. Talking friendships, but actually being too selfish to be a true friend and realise you need space right now then you need to be clear with them. You need to heal and try to move on. You're not their counsellor. If their telling you they want to just be friends, that they see no future in a relationship with you, then getting angsty or jealous when they hear you've been socialising or dating is selfish. It's not their right, you dont owe them that commitment anymore.
Do not take their envy, or sudden desperate attempts at persuasion for luncheons or dinner brunches to mean an equal relationship is on the cards, this will only bring you false hope. It means they are scared of loosing something that they believed belonged to them.
Definitely don't get lured in to being sexually intimate with them.

I will advise though that each person has their own individual perspective on how to get over a breakup, this is just mine.



image by jujubakiller

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