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image by Kikumms I was watching the Real Housewives of Orange county and realised how jealousy can be at the heart of a problem. The Tamra and Gretchen story is old news but we've seen it everywhere, how jealousy can run so rife it can lead to many attempts at ruining someone's life. Tamra only stopped her jealousy when she found another partner and became happy within herself. Unhappy people spread unhappiness. Some unhappy people understand that they need to fix and build their self esteem. Need to be happy in themselves. Others are happy pretending to be happy and tearing others down, to cover up what their lacking in their own lives. Be happy and shine. Build your own support network, socialise with other positive happy people. Tamra decided to befriend Gretchen when she let love in, invited someone positive into her life, and became happy within herself, that was the only point of which she could let the small things go and get on with the business of being happy

image by Witchlady We have to find ways to validate who we are, respect ourselves and honour our own existence; If you are someone who falls under the sweet spell of flattery too easily, beware.. A poison tongue is on it's way. Words have power. And if you let other people's words control you, they will mold you into something you don't recognise. When I was younger I had two female friends who I'll never forget. They were attractive young women who got quite a bit of male attention. They had both been comfortable with me in a supportive role, being a shadow whilst they were allowed to shine and show the best of themselves, counsel them about everything in relation to men, basically be the friend that helps them dissect and overanalyse everything, yet when there was a shift and I wanted to focus on my own life, and fix some of the problems that had arisen, there became a problem. So long as i wasn't getting attention everything was fine. If i went ignored o

image by Crisco Wow emotional relapse or what? We have moments where our self pity gets the better of us. Pity got the better of me yesterday, my eyes sweated out onions, and my smile needed a treasure hunt. Someone great once told me, failure is not something that happens instantaneously. It is a series of opportunistic regrets. People pleasing is such a destructive trait. We are failures when we give up on ourselves, allow others to tell us exactly who we are negatively or convince us were not good enough. Other people will try and make you feel small because they feel small about their lives and themselves. Other people will make you question who you are and all the beliefs you hold dear to yourself. You may begin to compare and contrast. That is not your life. It is not your journey. You were not born to be like them you were born to be exactly who you are. To learn, to grow, and to evolve. Your journey is not about them. Ofcourse their opinions matter, without input, w

image by GraveUnicorn What is your truth? As much as I talk about positive thinking. Life is more than positive thinking. You don't need just a strong mindset, you need a powerful strategy and you have to be willing to take the steps to make whatever you need happen....happen. For example someone's positive thinking and suddenly a car comes out of nowhere and runs them over. Positive thinking alone will not get you through that. Life is action and reaction. What is the next step?We have to consistently think about what follows? What do i do next. What do you plan to do next? Write an album/ Write a book? Do a film/ Star in a play? Go after something you are passionate about. Take positive action. Talking and doing are completely different things. We can all see how beautiful that finish line looks, how beautifully polished how eloquently vanished, and clean it looks. Before it gets there, that takes work. Real hard work. Engage yourself in the doing, excite yourself

image by secondtimearoundx If you are someone who breaks promises easily, you will lose more than a few offered words. You will lose the faith of the people who trust you. Your words will be air to them until it reaches a point where. You have to beg your promises, people will only keep faith for so long. Mean what you say. There's an old saying, 'promises are meant to be broken' if that's the case, then doesn't that mean secrets are meant to be shared? What are both things founded upon? Trust. Faith. Belief.  Many of us have heard the story of the boy who cried wolf. Some say it was a young sheep boy, others tell the story of a local towns boy, who lied so often that when a wolf finally appeared not a single soul actually believed he was under attack. How does this relate to promises? Trust. His white lies had meant those around him had lost faith in him, and the foundation of trust had been broken. Promises are easily broken, so is trust. The smart th

image byfirexatxwill The more you ignore a jealous narcissistic person, the more power you have. The irony of life is that the same people who try so desperately to destroy you, always want to be close to you in some way, if they know you dont like them, you dont respect them, and dont actually want to be close to them as an individual, they may ridicule you, belittle you, humiliate you, turn you into a joke. The hot topic of their conversations if they can be bothered to. What do all these things have in common.....that person is still trying to get your attention. Their trying to get a reaction because they cannot acquire your respect. If you find yourself in a situation where you feel you are being treated thus badly and it seems to be a repetitive vain in your life, you seem to find yourself asking the same secret, self sacrificial, victimisation question, "Why me?" Most likely you hold such a low esteem for yourself that people with even far less self esteem a

image by Wolfentir Snobs. How many of us have felt the bitter sting of being snubbed. We often can't see ourselves socialising with the person, liking what they like, having the same values and views as them. Yet sometimes the residue of being snubbed remains. We're angry because that person thought they were too good even for simple courtesies. Maybe we become hurt because we may have shared a confidence with that person, years later have that spat in our face by someone who doesn't understand our journey. It may not be what it seems. For years I was snubbed by someone only to realise it wasn't that she thought she was better than me, it was simply that she felt inadequate to me. Rather than reaching out in a positive light this very immature insecure person became hostile, like a boomerang I fired insults and cruelty right back. I have learnt a valuable lesson from that. Do not get dragged into someone else's emotional mire. Don't be knee deep in their

image by atatalion Greatness comes from within. It's all the positive things we are that we put into action and use to help those around us. Great people shift the tide, they make big changes, and power small dynamic. They are gutsy as hell, take risks that dont always pan out, believe in themselves they do it because it's do or die. They are learning, some lessons are more painful than others, but learn them we must. Strength comes from within. It comes from having the courage to understand not everything in our life is guaranteed.  We want a better future, not just for themselves but for the people around Us. Knowledge is power, wisdom, experience. Use your life lessons and they will take you far. Progress, growth, pain, change, come hand in hand. Greatness is in all of us, in the toughest times is when it is required of us to tap into a higher power.

image by solmay Real love is not guessing games. Your not questioning wether they'll call you back after your last sexual encounter, check to see if your alright, figure if they actually care. The simplest things show they are responsive. In an infatuation, most of the time you don't genuinely like the person, because you dont genuinely know the person. All you know is the ideals, and love fantasies you've created. You imagine that they are this amazing person. They are the fabric of the woven threads of movies, books, comics even. Your super hero ideal versus the real. With infatuation we obsessively construct what we believe to be the perfect guy and combat or challenge anything that offends our mantra. Real love, takes work. It takes flaws, lots and lots of closeup flaws, it takes growth. With an infatuation you seem to be working against your partner, with real love, you are working together for a likely cause. You love each other rather than the idea of eac

image by heretyczkaa Its not because were dumb or silly, or stupid, or even lame. It's because above all else we can often be very naieve. We build people up in our minds, and tear them down the same way. Often times before we actually know who they really are. I had invested my romantic ideals in a fiction, a guy who id created from romance novels, and other idealistic literature. It hadn't occurred to me that reality spoke in loud volumes. This was not the guy for me. My mistake was to then become bitter. Angry and agitated. Faith is the promise and hope of new things to come. The faith i had in the wrong person, i could have easily invested that joy in myself until the right person came along. I choose to do that. Laugh, be happy, merry, charismatic, funny, outgoing, joyful , boisterous, stubborn, funny, and celebrate who i am. It is a mistake to judge and condemn yourself for choosing the wrong people. A woman who condemns herself as weak for dating an emotionall

image by neofotistou Happy people are too busy being genuinely happy to spend so much time orchestrating someone else's fall from grace. Hurt people hurt people. It is complicated. People are often mean, cruel or hurtful because someone has hurt their confidence or torn shreds out of their self esteem. People who feel small will try and make you look small, they need to feel big....you will be the instrument of choice. Unless you know in your heart that you have done something to tick this person off, infuriate them, wind them up like this, keep key things in mind. If they are winding you up. Stop giving them so much power. Their goal is to get a reaction out of you. If they can get a reaction they can say to others "look how important i am, see how special i am." when most of the time you and them both know, if they didn't act appaulingly or tick you off you wouldnt actually give them the time of day. Wether it's  negative behaviour patterns or positive

image by my goddess In this new year learn a valuable lesson. Some people are off limits. It's not because their too good for you, but because simply put your too good for them. You may have pursued someone you thought had a good character, only to have the shades drawn in and the light shine through. They may have hurt you in the past, and your friends and family have a tough time wondering why you would even consider attempting to build a friendship. No worry, it's human nature. We often cling to what we feel is familiar. If someone provided us with love, or simply kind affectations when we felt absolutely worthless, lonely, hurt or confused, we remember them for that alone. Sometimes even if they've raked a stake through your heart, it's those moments that you remember. In this new year learn a timeless lesson we often forget to teach ourselves, you will always have you. No matter who lets you down, disappoints you, shocks and shames your heart, you will alw

Thankyou to everyone who checks out Redebony, i'm looking forward to more of you joining. Your invited and you are loved!!!Enjoy a fun, phenomenal, engaging new year.......your awesome.....Feel free to rooooooooooooooooooooooock on!!!! image by nuic