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image by BlackmoonLilly Relationships change and sometimes it's the hardest thing to deal with. The ever changing push and pull tug of what did i do to change this dynamic, could i have been a better version of myself? Could i have been a more patient self? Could i have acted more as the person they gravitate to. Then we realise, we are who we are. In life the people who love you are supposed to accept you for who you are, wether it suits them or not. Sometimes you may love the bones off someone and the next day, not like them so much, the reality is we are only human. It is not a crime to be you. There was a point where i had so many people consistently telling me there was something wrong with the way i was, who i was as a person, and then i looked with disgust as these people would try and imitate me. Or people who tear you down to friends and relatives, wait till everybody's gone, try and get close to you, then when their frustrated they can't you become the bad

image by Nurnurich Xmas doesn't guarantee that we will automatically be happy. Yet your happiness is vital for the day. We fight for our cars, jobs, people who are abandoning us, homes, fight for your happiness day to day, because in life there are distractions. I once made the assumption that simply because you decide to get your life on the right path, the whole world will instantly agree with you. Everybody else will fall into line, everybody will high five you and give you a pat on the back, and tell you how awesome you are. Just for the heads up this Xmas remind yourself how awesome you are no matter who is trying to tear you down, we deal with trial after trial, jealous attention seekers, assuming that if they shine a light on our flaws nobody will notice theirs. In life you are allowed to have flaws, it's called being Human. Celebrate your life.

This is absolutely hysterical, i almost wet myself laughing....so true to life.

images by Sandman F Anger unchecked becomes bitterness. It stays in the pit of your stomach, it rests there until it festers long enough to become part of your cycle. Sometimes we find were angry at first for all the right reasons, but as time passes the intensity of the anger doesn't add up.We begin to justify it, become our own lawyers, look for ways to validate our argument even though enough time has passed for us to privately conclude, somewhere along the interaction we were not Saint. We were also sinner. Letting things go is one of the hardest things to do in life, yet sometimes you have to, not for the other person but for yourself. Forgiving them doesn't mean asking them out for drinks, going out on the town, having a shopping trip, i realised something. When people hurt us they loose more than what they gain. They loose our time, our trust and our respect. Once the glory sheen wears off, and the action or the behaviour they carried out to either humiliate or j

image by rckstar 13 When you loose trust in others sometimes it's even harder to build it within yourself. You question every decision you make, even the people you once upon a time invited with ease into your life. Here is an answer for an emotionally complicated question. There is no such thing as perfect people. People often make mistakes, that hurt us, emotionally, scar us at times, and make us turn the bedroom mirror into a therapy couch. The reality is, nobody comes with a warning. The woman who is being abused, has been de frauded and is now the object of ridicule for smug friends didn't meet a potential partner with a post it note or a tattoo on his/her forehead which said...i am damaged i am here to damage you too. We know the old adage, hurt people hurt people. The damage really comes in the aftermath of their tornado and the words we speak in the dark. Say something positive to yourself today. Wether you've been cheated on, lied to, thought someone was so

image by Canoneos I once took a risk on someone and watched in awe as they showed themselves to be everything i actually found unappealing in a person. Dishonest, manipulative, cruel, sadistic. What i had offered as kindness was used as a platform to ridicule me in an attempt to appear more appealing to others, and in their very insecure maner....make people stay. Make people find them funny, or likable, attractive in some way, and the more i tried to move forward from the mistake of such a bad choice, the same person that had tried so intensely to ruin my reputation, became jealous, and was actually investing more time to show themselves more toxic. From allowing myself to be wound up , getting angry, becoming furious, it became clear to me, the sadness of the choices they were making. How pathetic it was that they had to stoop so low in order to try and get others to stay, ultimately those people would leave anyway. They would require someone with more confidence, more adventu

Image by Karincoma Love yourself, arm yourself with an over abundance of self love, admiration, celebrate your successes, because you deserve it. You deserve to laugh, smile, joke, be happy, confident, boisterous, charismatic, but most of all appreciated. In life we meet all sorts, and sadly we meet those who try and tear us down. If it means standing in front of a mirror for hours filling your head with positive affirmations, compulsively celebrating the things you can accomplish, plan to accomplish, believe that you are unstoppable, in your attempts at self growth healing, and confidence. We arm ourselves with self love so those who try and pull us down can fail terribly.

image by refined Sometimes we like the idea of someone more than the person themselves, when reality comes to us the pain doesn't just sting, we look at a self we once trusted and ask it a string of suspicious questions. Our subconscious becomes the FBI. Why did you really think this was a good person? Why did you really invest that time trying to get to know them? Why did you try and make such an effort for them? Why didn't you see all the holes and gaps? How could you not clock that you were in the midst of quick Sand? My answer, because were only Human. People often display their best selves, everybody wants to be the Fairytale and not the Horror Story. A Serial killer would never walk up to you and say "Hi my name's Bob, i'm a Taurus, i'm also a serial killer," people often conceal the dark parts of their identity, because we like to be liked. People like to be liked. If you made a bad judgement call, invested poorly in someone, thought they were

image by perrygallagher Life is for living. Celebrate it, embrace it, take risks, and glide freely through it. You live once in this life. If you dont take risks you will regret them, let regret be someone else's shadow, you are free to be happy and free to joyfully exist. You have one life celebrate it.

image from www.gameinformer.com Start button is a new blog run by push start 89 covering a range of interesting multiplatform articles. http://thestartbutton89.wordpress.com

You say Bongo Bongo. I say bigot Godfrey Bloom's remark canot be dismissed as eccentric or 'rogue'. It's racism, pure and simple   Irenosen Okojie The Observer , Sunday 11 August 2013   Godfrey Bloom: his remarks were unacceptable. Photograph: Matt Cetti-Roberts/LNP/Rex It is quite odd, I think, that there has even been a debate about whether Ukip MEP Godfrey Bloom's comments about " Bongo Bongo Land " – when talking about Britain's foreign aid budget – were racist. Some sly defenders have noted that he's a "rogue politician" and there have been "what an eccentric!" chuckles. Bloom himself has been utterly defiant. Let's be clear. His comments were racist, offensive and disparaging. My initial reaction was incredulity. I thought I had inadvertently done the time warp and landed in 1920's Britain. Where is this Bongo Bongo Land? My guess is Africa or another foreign land, where Blo

image by Lauura Love yourself today. You deserve it. Smile at your reflection, you have earned it. Wherever we are in life, if we journey towards positivity and we strive towards greater fulfilment we deserve to be happy. Happiness isnt about what's glossed ove in magazines or Tv images of bliss, it is something that comes from within, we feel refreshed, refilled, refuelled, revitalised, energised, tap into your healing, tap into your greatest self, celebrate who you are, and what you plan to become. Celebrate you and enjoy your life.

I love this track, it's one of those sexy summer oldies that you never ever forget. Enjoy people.

Whenever somebody is desperately trying to bring you down, there's only one agenda behind it. Bitterness and envy. Ask yourself one simple question. Why am I so important in this person's life? Why do I even matter to them? Why am I even significant? Let me give you the answer. You just are. They see something in you that you may not even see in yourself yet, and it doesn't just threaten them it makes them feel inadequate. People don't like to feel inadequate, therefore the only way they can gain significance in your world is by being that idiot who hovers near to cackle at insults about you, or other people ridiculing you. Lets look at this, because for ages I felt small because someone who didn't know me was spreading vicious gossip and ensuring others would judge me without giving me a chance, this was all about their own insecurities and inferiority complex. Then I put it in perspective, could I see myself associating with people this dim-witted? Would I r

image by mothykyu F ar out, weird, wacky, odd, bizarre? From dancing in the street, to discussing your ideas on your tape recorder. What are your strange quirks? Talking to yourself, dreams of wearing black to your white wedding, or having ice cream on prawn crackers...ooooh strange. Whatever the quirk, It is actually allowed. That's right we are allowed to be original, bold, distinct, flamboyant and creative so long as were influencing the universe positively. There is room for the eccentric.  sadly positively different people seem to threaten social norms , people distance themselves from them, alienate or snob them, as if their qualities could rub off on you. Then some of these people become millionaires, then everybody celebrates their uniqueness. Why didn't they celebrate them in the first place? How much strange can you tolerate? Your allowed to have your own style From the Goth, to the style queen, the diva, to the icon. Be wild, unique and free, Express yo

hearingtheharmony Simply put because your so charming your alarming. That's right sometimes we have to toot our own horns , acknowledge our strength our beauty, The qualities that draw people of the opposite sex to us. Men love a beautiful smile, maybe he caught a glimpse of that movie star grin of yours, those flirtatious bambi eyes and the street strut as though everywhere was your catwalk. Was it the bouncers( trainers) that you had on? The Kate moss pumps, or that red dress that seems to hug everywhere in all the right places. Attention is great, we all like to be acknowledged by the object of our affections. Respect is better. How to proceed...how to proceed. Don't be a pop tart. Over eager, over friendly, overbearing girls, just get avoided. Although feminism does encourage women to be more independent, and be more domineering, and take charge, you can take a camel to the water, sadly you cant force it to drink. Female intuition gets our senses tingling, we hop

  image by littlemeep Somebody call crime watch , these tantrums should be illegal. Yet somehow they are not and you find yourself in a relationship where your consistently walking on tripwires, hot coal or convinced there are planes circling overhead. Most of us have either been this person or have been stressed out from the drama of being in  a relationship with this type of individual. They never grew out of their spoilt brat complex and are convinced a relationship with you is all about your skill and ability to be an enabler.  Do you feel as though 'yes' is the only answer they want to hear? That constructive criticism guarantees an ensuing slaughter of digs, insults or passive aggressive behaviour. Maybe their queen speciality is the firework flip out, or explosive tantrums. You also find that a lot of your time is either spent appeasing their insecurities whilst they childishly try and compete, belittle, or begrudge whichever innocent victim has strayed into thei

Image by bruised vein Slut, whore, trollop?  What about his views on traditional gender roles within a relationship. Does he believe the woman should always manage and be the caretaker of the house, cook , clean, and should have only one male friend? Does he respect women's right to earn a high wage or does he secretly believe that any success a woman accomplishes is based on the bat of an eyelash and a push up bra. How about your successes? Does he always go quiet when you accomplish something, and make consistent digs about a woman's role, and not being his 'woman's bitch' or whipped. How does he refer to other women? Do you see him checking out certain other women, only to lie through his teeth later on and tell you he wouldn't touch her with a barge pole because she's so easy. How does he discuss other women? However he talks about other women is how he will one day discuss about you. A man who respects himself, is not easily threatened, will no

Image by Ivon T Anger. Control. I was furious. Betrayed, manipulated by a guy who was simply on the bottom rung of his self esteem issues, and he went after me because, he just wanted to feel good about himself. The attention seeking ace. Many men complain about this woman, many men have been this man. These are the attention seekers that are so insecure within themselves they crave your acknowledgement, and they will do anything to get it. I once had an experience where I was convinced there was a guy who from my visual accounts was clearly interested. From body language, the lurking , the watching, the happening to pop outside at the same time I seemed to be, beeping at me in the street, driving at snails pace to get noticed. My women's intuition was going insane. Wow, I thought secretly, this guy must really like me. I knew he lacked a lot of self confidence, what I didn't count on was that he would use the attention I gave him as a platform to put himself on a pede

image by iatethecat Stop telling yourself that you can and you will control everything. Sometimes in life there are things that we will not be able to control. When I was younger. I used to believe that everything was black and white, simple, things had the boxes they slid in between. Black and white good or bad, nice and nasty. Yet if everything was so organised.....nobody would have written the book when bad things happen to good people. We learn that we are reactors, and how we choose to deal with a situation, defines who we are and ultimately who we become. Years of anger can turn to bitterness....wasted energy. Feelings of fear mean avoidance and missed opportunities. You have but one life to live. Try your best to live it with joy. Write a list of positive things you will say to yourself every morning, positive choices, and positive celebrations. There is no one else like you on Earth. Affirm your success, affirm your progress, and focus on change and growth.

image by Daniellefershure Laugh their control issues into oblivion. Most controlling people have one thing in common, they are extremely insecure, make that two, and extremely paranoid. If your fun and bubbly, somehow the passive aggressive person convinces themselves, well not all, the extremely insecure passive aggressive person. Convinces themselves that somehow you will outshine them and take everything away from them, somehow their insecurities are worn like a bracelet or a chain around their neck. The more you try and relax them, the more insecure they become. It's because these inferiority complexes don't stem from you it originates with unresolved issues they have, everyone in life has something that we've either been through or are trying desperately to resolve. When dealing with a passive aggressive control freak, if you find that the more miserable you feel the happier they are. Don't complain, flip the switch. Moaning aint honing. It's their nee

Feel your mind with positive thoughts today and champion a wealth abundance mind set. Today is a day of infinite possibilities, grab unto as many of yours as you can. The world is your oyster.

image by offairbe Many people want the reward of a situation, but they are not willing to put the work in to accomplish the goal. How many times have you been around a friend or a family member and your driving away at something, maybe even someone you don't pay much attention to, you suddenly get a positive reward and a positive outcome, and that person springs into action.  Or you get teased about something but soon enough you either see them copying you, or the hysterical one is they'll hide information from you and may only tell you things when they sense your less of a threat. There's nothing wrong with competition, healthy competition with humour is perfectly fine, yet when you deliver good news and the reaction is strange, almost one of entitlement, you find yourself questioning whether you should have kept the good news to yourself. We all get frustrated sometimes. Especially when you don't want to compete and actually you just want to share how amazing

image by geradissex What is your financial discipline? How do you manage your money? The money you save grow it, use it and utilise it. Invest it in a course, a product, or a business. Money is energy. The mistake a lot of people make is they save, save, save, deny themselves and then eventually an all ensuing hunger consumes them and they invest that money on something that wont give them a return. A house will not automatically give you a return, it is not a guaranteed asset, neither is a car. Invest in things that make you money whilst you sleep. You want sleep walking money. This means investing in your financial education. All the wisdom we need comes from within. Yet sometimes we need to tap into those mentors with the information, the contacts, the structures in place which will help us with our financial fortitude. Knowledge is power. If you are working in a dead end job that you hate and you are saving towards a course that will lead you towards financial independence yo

image by wowurnotkidding Here's a question for the books. When someone keeps disappearing on you when do you realise that you don't need them any longer? When do they realise you don't need them any longer? The thing about negative patterns is that often we only realise were in them when those feeling sink in too deep. Do you deserve someone who will be there when there's a crisis? When the shit actually hits the fan? Someone who values your time and the energy you bring to a relationship rather than an emotional escape artists? Yes. Wondering why he/she hasn't called will be bearable to an extent, being frustrated when you haven't met their friends or they haven't met yours or your family, you will be able to tolerate that to an extent and then eventually life happens. There will be real things, events , circumstances, where you will need a rock rather than just some sexual intimacy, there will be times when you will need an ear rather than just pill

Image by healthable.org   wow who hasn't been there? Who hasn't done that? Is he interested in you as a person? Is he interested in getting to know who you are? Your opinion on topics such as politics, culture, social commentary. Is it a hideaway romance, where your both hermits in the din of his house or apartment, or are people actually seeing you around? Do people actually see you on dates? Do you guys do other activities outside of sex? Or is he just desperate to get to the nitty gritty. Does he discuss personal situations, intimate matters with you, or are conversations placid and dry. Does he just randomly stop by, and you only seem to get late night calls? Do you feel an awkwardness after intimacy as though your either expected to leave, despite all these promises he's made to you. All these lovely things said, that at the time seemed so genuine? Do you feel as though the actions don't match the words. He loves you but your still introduced as a friend,

image by blog.saltmoney.org   Stop leading with talk of how much money you have Watch for people's reactions, do they seem bored or uninterested and then they hear you make that comment and their eyes light up? Are they constantly asking you for things? Or requesting things that you know they wouldn't spend their money on? Do they keep happening to have forgotten their purse or wallet, yet you seem to see certain new goodies on them Are they constantly hinting about what they want? They have expensive taste Financial problems which of course are never their fault No health problems or disabilities but seem to get by on their looks Trust your instinct or intuition Stop abusing your own pocket by overextending your finances and lending them money for things they don't need. If they cant pay their bills. Maybe they should have saved up before they invested in that property, if they cant afford the meal, maybe they should just like your company, get creative and

image by domesticviolenceuk.org   People say power corrupts, or sometimes they say money does. I think someone has to have those yearnings deep within themselves, somewhere in the dark recesses of those contrived organized placid systemic smiles. We say everyone has a dark side, but what happens when Mr nice guy turns nasty. What I've learnt over time is that everybody has a side, everybody has a coin element. I wrote this piece for every woman or every man even whose kicking themselves right now because someone who appeared to be so regular and so nice, over time revealed such a nasty nature to themselves. An enjoyment of cruelty, or a contemptful nature, and slowly sucking the self esteem out of others through a straw because they had none. For women who have dated emotionally abusive men, bullies, liars, controllers, manipulaters, and you begin to have a deep resentment towards yourself because why you? Why do you keep picking these guys? How could you not see who they we

image from www.destinationiman.com   I love Eva Longoria she's stunning,sexy,stylish,sadly unlike the rest of the population I don't believe Eva commando going Commando (wearing no underwear) at the Cannes Film festival was a mistake . It was a cleverly timed, strategically, organised publicity stunned. She's an actress. That whole 'oops there I go' sorry not buying it. Why did everybody else movie directors, actors, public, writers, other actors remember to put their underwear on. Putting your knickers on is not something you forget.....unless your forgetting it on purpose. We all thought such attempts at publicity mongering were for the Britney Spears, and the Lohan's, clearly Eva has got her own bag of tricks up her sleeve. I have to say though she looked absolutely fabulous, the dress was magnificent, shoes, she's got a great little body, and that stunt will ensure that for the next year her agents cell phone is ringing off the hook, for more ma

Amazing motivational video absolutely epic. This moves me, and it will move you to action.

Kanye West "I'd rather be a dick than a follower."  Kanye West burns it up with his acid tongue, and his ever evolving style. Attention hungry or not, he's a strategist, and he keeps people talking. He keeps tongues busy because .......he's unpredictable.

Emelie De Forest won for Denmark, but i'm sorry the real triumph of hilarity goes to Aizerbaijan what the hell was that performance. With one guy singing and the other one dancing and miming in a glass box, absolutely hysterical. Although I have to commend anyone who stands publically and makes a huge spectacle of themselves for their country, that's very honourable, but Aizerbaijan definitely have put David Blaine out of work for a while.

image by gilad. Our mistakes can either be the making, the shaping or the breaking of us. Don't condemn your judgement, often even the bad choices we make come from a good place. Recently I was having a discussion with my mother about dating, I specifically asked her to start picking, my choice in partners and potential friends, because so far. Some of the people i'd invested in had shown themselves to be cruel, dishonest, false, and some even a threat to my safety. She smiled at me then and said the most bizarre thing, in the most offhand tone. Something I hadn't said to myself in years, because the anger within had gnawed so deep. "I TRUST YOUR JUDGEMENT." Huh . I almost collapsed right there, then I realised. In order to move forward in life you have to trust yourself 100 %. People may let you down, they may disappoint, they may hurt or betray, but when you minus the one, your the one that's left. We find it hard to forgive ourselves the bad choic

image by Apokryphia art I recently had an experience where someone who I thought was an honest person began to lie, consistently. Along with their lies came their justifications, came their aggression, and what lurked within the sheets of a warped elongated tongue. Fear. Exposing a liar, is in those seconds of miniature expressions. Those things that a keen eye cannot miss. "I didn't take the money," they argue aggressively, their tone is defensive, saying don't push this, their eyes dart towards an exit looking for a potential escape. It's in the crevices of body language, and the throbbing of your gut instinct. The friend who says their happy you've just landed your dream job, then dismisses further chatter or excited banter about it, eager to focus on a past mistake you made. Or decide to make you feel insecure by going for a topic of discussion in your social group that either makes you feel alienated or has you feeling as though your barefoot walki

patrickwanis.com There it was. His phone number in bold blue ink. He wanted me to get in touch to call, to catch up on old times. I knew in my heart there hadn't been that many 'good old times' to catch up on. The ground was always jelly with him, the tears ran like a rain storm, and at the end of it I was always the one who had to be put back together like humpty dumpty. Only there were no kings horses and all the kings men. There was just me alone with my thoughts and my tears. It hit me then like a symbol. Ultimatums. When we give ultimatums it is important to have the strength to stick to them. Otherwise the same people repeat the same negative processes that leave us feeling hurt and questioning those around us. Giving someone an ultimatum isn't about playing god, or for those few moments having the upper hand. It is a rule of respect. You are saying if you don't respect me, if you violate my trust, hurt me in anyway, you will lose me. There will

image by Kiral192 Aim high, real high, because you could be the person who changes history. The one to make a difference in your life and the life of your family, go for that dream, reach for that promotion. What's the worst that could happen, you get let down? You get rejected? You just keep going. Many of our leaders in this society, are in the positions their in today because they believed in something, they fought for something, they were ruthlessly ambitious, and they just kept going. Their saving graces may not have happened instantly, it may not have taken place that week, that month, that year, but it took place and they were champions of change. You have to aim high and be persistent. It's easy to settle for mediocrity, change means pain, it means stretching yourself, it means possibly alienating the people around you who you have been familiar with. Aim high because when you accomplish your goals, you reassert, that you can do the impossible, that you are a

image by Mothykyuu From boyfriends, to best friends, job opportunities, even to the way you walk, and the style of which you talk. Many will tell you tales of the copy cat frame, and how it unravelled into a single white female saga, with a seemingly normal best friend becoming too.....as some would put it.....inner. This is when your friend begins to selfishly believe your whole life revolves around them.  From flirting with boyfriends, or jealous when you get any attention, trying to alienate you from other friends and consistently trying too draw as much information from you as possible, with their own intentions in mind. Come up here, where the air is good, and the sky is clear, and the birds can soar. Sometimes friends will do this unintentionally because well their your friends, and they cant help but interfere, because they love you, and they care, and they want to see you happy. Yet if you sense that the agenda is different, and you are simply dealing with a queen Be