REDEBONY'S BOOK BOUTIQUE

Life dolls out lessons. Painful lessons that end up in self blame or us blaming other people. Throughout much of my pain especially with dating, or partners, even friendships. The message was, value yourself. Respect yourself, admire yourself. It's a lesson that takes a life time to sink in. It's a lesson that takes much analysis, over analysis, projection, draining. It's an exhausting lesson. It's hard to play the blame game on yourself, especially when someone has acted appaulingly to you. Take responsibility for your choice, and your agenda. It's tough, many times in life we find ourselves knowing what to do and ending up hypocrites. Remember this though, it was a lesson learned. For example that painful experience with a guy that pretended to be Mr wonderful, who hurt your feelings and lowered your self esteem, you've seen what you need to see. He can never approach you pretending to be Mr nice Guy, those rose tinted glasses are gone, that guy who se

Some people are told their personalities rub people up the wrong way, their not strong enough, not loud enough, not quiet enough, not humble till their eating dirt enough. I ask the question...Am i to be enough for me, or enough for you. Life drags us through the mud and the mire. There are many of us who envisioned our lives a certain way, and grope with distress in the dark. I used to have friends who would whisper like snakes, judging like a jury panel, about people who learnt to stomach their pain, daring to walk with their head held high, pride hanging off them like robes. It made my friends feel jealous, inadequate, judgemental, and sometimes cruel. I quickly took leave. It's easy to tear someone down, ridicule them, for having strength, yet could you be that strong in their shoes?Would you even be able to tie your shoe laces? Would you be able to pick your eyes up from the stains on the floor, would you need puppet strings for your shoulders? It's often very attra

Ten tiny love stories...what a superbly written and directed piece. This is a series of monologues about sex, love, loss and the past. Director Rodrigo Garcia produced a masterpiece. With cast such as Lisa Gay Hamilton, Radha Mitchell, Alicia Witt, we dont get a hollywood blah production of life experiences, but the intricacies and the diverse voices that express real emotions. That life and love isn't just format, it makes you think that those polished women you see on the street, or people you wouldn't look twice at all have a story to tell. It's rawness, one ladies desperate attempt to sever her loneliness by giving a blind date Oral sex, it's pain, a woman who talks about her experience of loosing her virginity whilst in the process remembering loosing her mother. They are the words someone confides to a best friend, a peep hole into the secrets of the heart, it's passion, and it's dysfunction. Check it out, awesome movie

If he had continued to show this version of himself, slumped shoulders, soft eyes, the please feel sorry for me invisible tag wrapped like a collar around his neck, until....the dynamics changed. I showed him a vulnerability, this vulnerability made him feel so empowered he began to feel superior. I'm not talking your average i'm Mr Nice guy because i have no confidence, peel the layers back...oh look i'm scum. We all have those moments when a wolf shreds it's mutton, and flashes the fangs within. The wolves in sheep clothing. That's right, if you've come across them, your hurt, you feel sick, betrayed, and some of you may even feel victimised. I have something that will cheer you up. You can recover from this. You will be sore for a while. Maybe it's your boss deciding to terrorise you, a guy you liked who didn't like you back but decided the best way to express this was cruelly through nasty comments, or mob humiliation, a friend who alienates you

Exercise is not just great for your body, it is amazing for your soul. In the past when i experienced deep bouts of depression, there was only one answer. Exercise. Movement empowers us. We focus on something outside of ourselves, and our shrinking moments. What experience is keeping you hostage? Wether it's a walk, a jog, a video workout, treat your body, and your mind to the freedom it deserves. Stop torturing yourself, by replaying your mistakes or failures over and over again. Everybody has suffered the downfall of failure, climb back to the top , by taking action.  Meditation is great, so is yoga, active exercise releases those endorphins our bodies crave. image by blackharlet

Dating can feel like a minefield. Honestly there are thousands, no millions of does he like me, does she like me? Are these signs they find me attractive questions that bombard the internet daily. I have discovered with much trial and error, if someone is attracted to you, they could be the shyest man on Earth...they want you to know somehow. Those lingering stares are great, people who fancy you always want to be near you, even if there's just a hint of a possibility they might bump into you....They want to see that hair do, new outfit, say hi, or have a brief encounter that could be slightly prolonged. Some go as far as buying you gifts, or popping up everywhere you are, asking questions about you, inviting you to places, or the more confident of the bunch simply ask you for your telephone number, and guarantee you'll have the time of your life. I've learned with much agony not every man or woman that gives you attention are the right partner for you. Beneath a h

Just the ticket, completely hits the spot. Percy Sledges when a man loves a woman has to be the greatest love song of all time. It feels like the most real, and the most raw. Someone who was trying to be smoothe, told me 'valentines day should be everyday', then he cooly informs me he has a wife and sleeps on the sofa. Anyway, that aside. Valentines day is about love, and appreciating those your close too....Red eb say's let the love flow

I find myself no matter how old it gets, addicted to the real housewives of New york City. Real Housewives of O.c is brilliant entertainment...currently not on air, but real housewives of New York City....ADDICTED. This moment with Ramona, still cracks me up!!

How could he lie like this? The same guy that paced me like a shadow, stalked me like a predator wasn't just saying bad things about me, he was saying disgusting things about me. My ears throbbed my throat constricted i felt sick that just for a moment, a second, a drop of a breath, i thought this looser was worth something. I wondered if maybe i had become so lonely that i was seeing things that weren't there. Mere ego, shallowness and self glorification like a jealous person close to him had pronounced. Then i remembered exactly who i was, and what the people around me had seen. A guy who was too scared to even exist, and the way he'd watched me for years, or asked questions about me, curious to engage in my world. In a moment of humility and vulnerability i'd stripped myself bare....saying this is who i am. Humour, kindness, cheekiness, guts. It was a note. A brave note. In response i saw a bully, desperate to acquire respect from those around him. Not by actu