Dealing with anger: I love this video it's awesome

Parts of this video inspired me, some of it i don't agree with, other parts of it made me question myself and question my own unhealthy anger. I'd been angry for a while, some of it passive, others of it volatile and aggressive. I'd been in a lot of pain, it was festering, and it was translating. The object of my anger at some points seemed to be one of my neighbours. Now i look on, i realise it wasn't her, but what she stood for. I've been frustrated for years by bitchy people, or passive aggressive people. An incident that traumatised me had my anger spiralling out of control, and the target became her.I've decided to focus on building myself up, self esteem, self worth, so insignificant people don't suddenly become majestic. I realised wether their jealous, cruel, malicious, nasty, even in the tiniest of ways, it's not about them. It's about you, and how your dealing with your pain. How your dealing with your anger, how your working towards making yourself happy.

People forget how important it is to try and be happy. They think buying a new car will make them happy, a new house, having more money, being popular. Happiness comes from within. If we are angry, hurt, miserable, damaged, what's inside cannot fruitfully connect with what's outside. It means when your miserable, you cant appreciate anything, therefore your universe sulks and slinks away, unhappy to attract furthermore things that you might punish. I always thought anger was the volatile,aggressive, loud, fierce. Then i realised you can be angry and not even know it. You can still be hurt and not even know it. Pain can be quiet like that. Pain takes time to heal, and i do believe anger channeled positively and effectively into the right project makes a world of difference. Yet anger just left stewing on it's own is a threat not to you, but to the person your angry with.

Dealing with the mother in law from Hell

The question is how much do you want to win,if winning is important to you,prepare to loose the love of your life or your potential partner. If you are dealing with a manipulative mother from hell do not make the mistakes I have and allow her to sink you to her toxic claustrophobia. You are on trial, you will constantly have to defend and support your independant route. Why you want to go on a holiday Monday rather than Tuesday, why the kids carry a rucksack rather than a sling shoulder bag, and why there's rarely any yogurt in the fridge. Despite all the kids hating yogurt and the local fruit store selling rotten contaminated vegetables. It is not you it is the control. She's not used to playing sub, and although like most mothers she yearned for the day she wouldnt have to fuss over her kids. Despite that being what she ranted and moaned about over the years, in true human form the time has come and she' s probably very anxious. If she is a mature woman she will express this reasonably and in a comfortable energy, where you guys can get to know one another. She will explain her vulnerabilities and you'll explain yours, making a point to share that you respect what she's done with her son so far, you would love to learn things from her be it recipes, life tips, and she is a welcome member of your family. If she is an angry battle ax, I repeat do not fight her, embrace her in a positive loving light. When we are scared of loosing things we love, terrified of being replaced and forgotten we fight. We fight for the journey, memories and time we spent. We fight because suddenly I imagine some women feel their being shoved out of their comfort zone by someone we didn't see coming.


Whatever you do, dont let your husband or partner lurk in the shadows redundant. He must speak up for you and encourage boundaries of respect between you and his mother. You must respect her, and she must respect you. Some mothers coupled with fear, lies the need to protect their son. Yet you also have something to respect, your self esteem. If you consistently feel put down, ridiculed, humiliated, degraded. Not once, but often. If there are comments made before your very eyes that have you wincing and make eyes roll, it's simple really, what does your partner say to contest these biting remarks. If the answer is nothing, then the problem is not his mother, the problem is him. Has he said things to taint her opinion? Has there been arguments that he's discussed with her, if so there you have it. Yet no matter what, arguments aside, your companion, amigo, padre, someone who knows you intimately should be willing to speak up in your defense, otherwise you are fighting a loosing battle. Being on the team of someone who won't stand up and be counted, doesn't warrant much growth. Of course you are nobody's saviour,yet you are a woman worthy enough to be communicated to with respect.

What to do when a guy is ashamed of you

panter 2022

Translation. What to do when your confidence is so low,your associating with a gutless guy,who has the nerve to think, he can be ashamed of you and still steal your time and attention. First of all , are you sure this knight on a white stallion is ashamed, or is a paranoid mind playing tricks on you?


Does he avoid all public places you could be seen together. Does he seem panicked when you bump into anyone you might recognise, are you feeling like a cobwebbed secret . Cut him out

Aftershock: How to move on after a divorce

Wow so you didn't just have a mini breakup. Your about to have a breakdown. Your companion is gone. Your best friend is gone. Your lover is gone. But you and possibly some of your kids are still standing. This isn't just breakup central, this is the E.T, the golliath, and the juggernaut of breakups.divorce A little ice cream, and a trip to the cinema isn't going to do a merlin on this one. Here is what will. You are allowed to grieve. Allowed to sob and curl into your mattress delving into old memories, your allowed to complain...to the friends that will pick up your calls. More importantly your allowed to forgive yourself the mistakes that keep going round in your head right now. Could it have worked if you had done A, B, C, or D. Could things have been different, you're still battling the feelings of loss, and for some of you, the attraction you still have for your ex partner. When he comes over to see the kids, and you get a whiff of that aftershave, the new hair cut, that makes you question if there's someone new in his life. That's not your concern. Your concern is, immediate damage control. You need to begin reconnecting when your ready, if you sulk too long, you'll sink into a deep depression, if you go out on the town and decide to go on the pull, will you respect yourself after all those bottles of cider, and wiping the runny mascara that's kissing your cheekbones.

Make a list of everything you want to do, see, everything you wanted to enjoy before you and your ex partner became the terrible twosome. What did you like about yourself, this independant you, what did she want to explore, did she want to travel,are there friends you've lost contact with, that always lit your face up like a bulb. This is a hope list so you dont feel hopeless. If you find yourself conflicted between your attraction for an ex partner and your plans of moving forward, just remember the reasons you chose to separate. A house divided cannot stand. If it doesn't work unless the other person is willing to compromise, you cannot make it work. If you went into a relationship thinking you wanted one thing, and then from your experience with your ex partner realising you wanted something completely different, you would be punishing yourself and him for trying to force fix things. Do things that you loved to do but may have stopped because your ex partner didn't find them attractive. Start going to the gym and training regularly, a healthy body, works towards a healthy mindset. Give yourself a makeover, revamp the house, redecorate your bedroom. You are heading into unchartered territory, you are ready to explore the new you. Meet up with some friends, not frenemies, real friends. If you need to speak to someone because the experience may have been traumatic then do so. A therapist can make a world of difference, or joining a group of women that have been through what you have been through.

Read as often as you can. Your self esteem may have taken a knock...it depends on who you are. Motivational books, inspirational thinking, find positive ways to validate yourself through hobbies or projects you were once passionate about. Take it one step at a time. There will be days you'll feel incredibly amazing, like you've moved on, and are progressing quickly. Then valentines day appears, and you wonder why you've still got a double bed and not a single. Or someone says they bumped into him somewhere, or he called them, even better they think they saw him with someone. Maybe even more tv moment you bump into him somewhere, or he visits and your lured into the intimacy of the moment. Just remember why things didn't work out in the first place. When your ready to start dating again, decide to take things slow, let them get to know your kids in time, and the other members of your family. Right now though....it's all about you. Your healing, your growth, and rebuilding the trust and faith you felt you lost.

I love this video on the vortex of creation: law of attraction stuff

This video is hillarious, entertainment bazaaar

How to effectively use the law of attraction

This is a video on how to effectively use the law of attraction it celebrates being abundant in who you are,embracing life

Handbag Hitlers: Who hasn't come across them

Who hasn't come across the handbag hitler. That woman you meet with the most gorgeous handbag refusing to tell you where she got it. Suddenly she feels like god, and she either lies and informs you she got it from some inacessible country, or her mouth twitches as she says it was a gift.....from my boyfriend. Great, so now your in awe with no information. Red Ebony's here to change that. As i empower you, and dress you through the most traumatic breakup, or breakdown, toxic friends, psychotic bosses,i want you to say the same thing everytime you get up and glare at that mirror. "Damn i look goooooooooooood!!"

Ear lingerie: Feeling sexy after a break up

The ears have it! in this case they do. After a break up its easy to get into intensely dumpy mode.Drag the ice cream from the freezer, curl up in front of the tv watching some old black and white romance, and whining to your best friend about what could have been. Heres what i've taken to doing, buying those delicious Ear lingerie, or glorious conversations asking you where you got your celebrity jewellery. Having people around you consistently tell you how amazing you look, helps butter up the ego, after it's emotional suicide. The sentence my ears love the most are always, "wow where d'you get those earings from? I've never seen jewellery like that before.

Law of attraction, cool video

Has anyone ever told you that you are what you attract?Let me expand this further. You are wahat you believe in. Our lives are a reflection of the systematic beliefs we hold unto, our grain, our path.law of attraction states that you are what you attract. If we want more we must focus on attracting it, cultivate ourselves in that meditative state of mind. Where essence is free thought, and positive thoughts and visualisations make us a magnet for the things we yearn for. Our deeper most positive experiences of life. Our visions made so clear, our dreams unfold before us like a movie we've seen, we understand, that still excites us.

Change your life with these amazing books

Red Ebony's Righteous Playlist:Wizkid -Don't Dull

Somethingdelicious
for the summer, music for the waist, beats for the hips...wizkid

How to get over a guy who humiliates you

Imam ali picture


The reason why someone humiliates you, is to put themselves on a pedastal and make you feel the size of a breadcrumb. Did you confess your undying love only to have the guy you like snigger about you with his friends and family, avoid you, and basically give you the worst label in the world. Guess what? The same guy will still want your attention all over again. What do you do with guys like that? Replace them!!! Simply show them they are not as indisposable as they think.They can be replaced. With someone kinder, more mature, better looking, more fun, more exciting.The feelings of humiliation your experiencing, the 'please dont bump into me, where can i hide, can i switch towns and change my name' has been experienced by some of the most beautiful women in the world. There's not something paticularly wrong with you, there's just something wrong with the choice you made. You wanted pizza and went to an ice cream store. You emotionally invested in the wrong guy, and ouch did it hurt. I call it 'Zeus phenomenon', when some guy wracked with his own well hidden insecurities decides that he wants to appear superior to someone else. The problem with his delusion is that god in genesis wasn't god because he decided to tear things down, he was superior because he wanted to build up the things around him, and bless them. Pretty and delicious as this guy might have been, he had or has no right to shrink your confidence to the size of a pea.
Circulate, socialise, network, and let the love creep in. Hang out with friends in places that are busy with communication. Give decent guys approaching opportunity, even if its a five second conversation. You are searching for someone who fits you.Even if your not desperately ad campaign searching, your trying not to lose your faith in humanity.

I will warn you of two things. The guy you liked may absolutely not give a toss. He may not even blink twice, and talk of how lucky he is, and how he got away scot free. The second warning, picking up on your heightened confidence and the fact you have become less available to him, you'll start to pick up the i'm interested vibes. I'm sensitive vibes, your hurting me vibes from a guy who had the audacity to ridicule you in the first place. Now that you've moved on, or are starting to those little jokes that he laughed at, the comments that were made by friends or family to indulge him, have created a possibility that his ego didn't consider. He could actually loose your interest, and any sort of respect you had for him for good. Guess what, they were his choices to make. The problem guys and even women forget, is that the high of an ego boost wont last forever. The fog clears, and they soon realised you can't be used so they appear funny anymore, or desirable, or respect worthy. Replace, replace, replace. Your allowed to believe you deserve the companionship of that one guy who doesn't want to leave your side, and will defend you against anything and anyone.

Looks Like isn't is: How to stop projecting your romantic feelings unto the wrong guy

We go through phases, where we see something in someone that not only doesn't exist, but is dangerous to our self esteem. Recently i saw a kindness to the wrong type of guy, i put a + b together and came up with a+b=z. As we usually do i defended my action, it would have been different if the guy was less shy, it would have been different if his mother was less insecure and catty, it may have been different if his brother was less of a snooty brat.

The problem wasn't with any of these people. The problem was simply, that i had let loneliness drive me. I'd become so emotionally isolated that i'd believed a guy who was simply parking in front of my house out of ease and comfort, was doing this for some radical reason. Boy did i get the wakeup i needed.I'd stupidly dropped a note of apology on valentines day. Funnily enough i had no clue it was valentines day at the time, and even more hillarious was the assumption i'd offended someone who didn't even care.

What a guy, i quickly discovered my letter of projection hadn't been written to this shy sweet individual, but in fact an ego maniac that was slightly narcissistic. The letter was shown and ridiculed throughout his household, in fact his mother made a point to attempt to stir things up further by asking my mother to summon me to her doorstep so she could 'try' and embarass me further. After that not only did he avoid me like the plague, but he ensured he never parked in front of my house again. Most people wouldn't react this way to an apology, but some people are a special brand of nasty. How do we stop ourselves from projecting your romantic feelings unto the wrong guy?

Don't make assumptions about who they are? Be invited into someone's world as a friend and let their consistent actions define them.

When we like someone we often buy into the report of who they are. Someone overly competitive and jealous, may trick us into believing their attentions is not because they saw another hotter, more attractive guy paying us attention. Someone whose ridiculously insecure from pretending you don't exist may begin worshipping your spotlight because they don't want to be alone.

This isn't a movie, this is real life. Outside of your 'sound of music' la la land, great movie by the way. What you should be looking for is a companion or friend that understands you, likes your company, and is willing to stand up and defend you when others tear you down. A guy that 'might' do these things, 'might' support you, 'might' like you. Mights not enough. Women have a habbit of living in the 'might' along with all the fictional scenarios they create along with it.

Stop projecting. A man is allowed to be a man, and take charge of the situation. Ask you out to dinner, find ways to liase and spend time with you. Women tend to hide behind the delusion that 'their guy' is too shy, too fragile, too insecure. If a guy gets hold of an opportunity and it's something they genuinely want, how many of them do you really think will let shyness get in the way.

If you have made the mistake of projecting feelings unto the wrong guy. Start socialising any way you can, networking, attending events that give you an opportunity to showcase how gorgeous you are.If another guy comes along that's interested, and passionate, give him the chance he deserves. Don't waste your time trying to convince the wrong guy your worth your weight in gold. Work towards validating yourself, avoid guys that waste your time, and remind yourself your worth ten of them.

I realised quickly it wasn't simply that a guy i'd thought might like some sort of communication with me had coldly tried to humiliate me. It was that he'd reacted so immaturely, and so cruelly to someone who was simply trying to express something positive. Despite thinking he was better than me, i realised i was worth a million of him. You just don't do that because Karma is a bitch.It was the wakeup call i needed to start letting people back into my life, and since i've been dating, i've met some genuinely good men.

Money Motivation: When were broke we need to hear this

This is the motivation motivatin that you need right now. Tke action people!! As much acion as you can.

Brilliant!!! 100 greatest movie insults of all time