Choosing options that heal

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Options. We all have them. Some have more than others. In the area. Of relationships, partnerships, friendships, investing more in family. Use options politely, otherwise they will feel disrespected, and disrespect you. Choose options that bring nourishment, progress and growth to you. Options bring choices. Choices either promote us or demote us in life. From a series of events which showed much lack of respect for myself, plausible loyalty, I realised something I would never forget. If you make the wrong choice and the universe forgives you, learn in some way to forgive yourself. Chose to love yourself, support those who love you and embrace their progressive energy.

Damaged but not destroyed

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Every corner you turn there's always someone trying to tell you the ten steps, the twenty steps and onwards to build your self esteem. It's gratifying at the time, and you feel as though your taking positive action....yet, I wonder if someone can actually tell you how to be who you are. We have to face ourselves, lack of self esteem is about fear, of rejection , feeling inadequate and sometimes alienated. Someone should have told us that from the day your born till the day you die, there will always be someone who doesn't like you for who you are. Someone who may act cruel, or gossip, or humiliate. Someone whose felt so inadequate for so long, they feel good tearing other people down. You will need to face your fears, you may even have to suck it up. Damaged but not destroyed. Your still breathing, standing, and if your strong smiling. Time is a great healer, who also reminds us of who we are. Build on those positive building blocks.

Dealing with mixed messages

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Mixed messages, the bane of dating for the single entrepreneur. If your giving your attentions to someone who is giving you mixed messages, it means that person is unclear. A house built on poor foundations cannot stand . In the long term there is one person guaranteed to get hurt, that person is you. Ask the person your interested in where you stand. If there actions continue to show you the opposite of their words, back away and decide to either focus on building your self esteem up, or entering that dating pool and finding someone better suited to you. Someone who knows exactly what they want.

Dont involve yourself  with a greedy gourder. Sometimes people like our affections and all the things that come with us, but dont want to sacrifice. They dont want to commit. How many women or men have been there. Youre constantly chasing someone who appears to be interested, yet when you really want them to step up, it's a completely different ball game. Focus on you, on building yourself up and building yourself esteem up, i say it time and time again. Our outer selves is just the shell, our inner selves are where our vulnerabilities lie, we must build ourselves up so were strong from within. That way its harder for the wrong type of people to come in and try and play games with us.

There is no shame in asking where you stand. If we dont ask the right questions, we dont get the right answers.

Moving Forward: Stepping back

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Moving forward from pain is one of the hardest things to do in life. Yet every successful person experienced pain, and they managed to recycle it as a motivation tool. There's nothing worse than being stuck in the same place, asking yourself the same question over and over again, saying to yourself, what the hell did I miss? Get help, there's no shame in asking for assistance. Take yourself out on an adventure, get your journal out, make new connections and focus your mind away from that place of pain. You get more of what you focus on. Focus on something positive and use it to help you set your soul free.

Other people's insecurities

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Sometimes we get led on by other peoples insecurities. A guy whose got low self esteem may see he's getting attention from a girl / woman he's not actually interested in. A woman may go on a series of dates after an epic breakup with a guy she's not especially interested in. Everybody wants to feel wanted, sadly some of us go about it the wrong way. If we can't get the affections for the person we like, we make the mistake of settling for the wrong person. When you find yourself being the wrong person, painful as it is, you had a lucky escape. Who wants a lifetime of excuses, playing second fiddle in a life that could be better.Could be happier. The question we have to ask ourselves is, not how much do we love them? Or how much do they love us ? How much of our own personal happiness are we willing to sacrifice on someone that's not even vaguely sure.

Hope as help Not Hindrance

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Hope is a funny word. Many of those who speak of hope, have already allowed it to dissipate in their hearts. It's the ghost in the room sometimes, or a sentence we check like it's money for a cash machine . We don't want to appear too hopeful, that might seem naieve. We haven't grown up enough were too idealistic. Yet I argue the same thing I've argued many a time before, men have walked on the moon, built the first computer in their back garden, once upon a time Rosa Parks was told she couldn't sit on a bus because she was black, America now has a black president. Hope is something your allowed to cling unto, because hope, faith and positive change come hand in hand. If you've been knocked a hundred times keep going. Knock backs doesn't mean stopping. It means learning and growing. Take the time you need to learn, reassess and grow. Many people resent themselves and their failed attempts. They believe it's the only way to stop the pain of disappointment, but in life one thing that's guaranteed is you will be disappointed. You will bounce back.

Defeating your emotional demons

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How do you defeat your demons? The greatest people in history had fear as a passenger in their lives. It was their best friend, it was their worst enemy. It saved them from facing nightmares they saw in bright day light, and kept them in a rigorous emotional circuit workout. The first step to facing our fears is admitting there's something there to be dealt with. Many of us go into a state of denial, and find ourselves in a heaving pile on emotional limbo. Wether you do it by yourself, with a partner or with a best friend. You have to fight back. Simple things like going to a group if your scared to confide in a friend, seeking out therapy, starting your own group. Shake up your life and fear will find it harder to attack you. Create a balance and work on emitting positive energy , around the people you love and others. Maybe you can start your own dinner group, meet up with old friends, create a new venture, whatever it is. Have fun doing it. Conquering a challenge makes it harder for fear to rest her feet.