Monday, 14 October 2013

Testament of trust





image by rckstar 13

When you loose trust in others sometimes it's even harder to build it within yourself. You question every decision you make, even the people you once upon a time invited with ease into your life. Here is an answer for an emotionally complicated question. There is no such thing as perfect people. People often make mistakes, that hurt us, emotionally, scar us at times, and make us turn the bedroom mirror into a therapy couch. The reality is, nobody comes with a warning. The woman who is being abused, has been de frauded and is now the object of ridicule for smug friends didn't meet a potential partner with a post it note or a tattoo on his/her forehead which said...i am damaged i am here to damage you too. We know the old adage, hurt people hurt people. The damage really comes in the aftermath of their tornado and the words we speak in the dark. Say something positive to yourself today. Wether you've been cheated on, lied to, thought someone was something they were not, remind yourself of the good choices you made. Celebrate the things you have accomplished Positively, with the right type of people. We all learn from our mistakes. It was a lesson, now take from it a positive education.

Saturday, 5 October 2013

Real respect




image by Canoneos

I once took a risk on someone and watched in awe as they showed themselves to be everything i actually found unappealing in a person. Dishonest, manipulative, cruel, sadistic. What i had offered as kindness was used as a platform to ridicule me in an attempt to appear more appealing to others, and in their very insecure maner....make people stay. Make people find them funny, or likable, attractive in some way, and the more i tried to move forward from the mistake of such a bad choice, the same person that had tried so intensely to ruin my reputation, became jealous, and was actually investing more time to show themselves more toxic. From allowing myself to be wound up , getting angry, becoming furious, it became clear to me, the sadness of the choices they were making. How pathetic it was that they had to stoop so low in order to try and get others to stay, ultimately those people would leave anyway. They would require someone with more confidence, more adventure, more stories to tell, more of a likability factor. When you love yourself you have more to share than the flaws of others.I realised that i was better than such poor behaviour. There is an old saying i used to tell someone close to me, "sadly the bad one's always come back", they are like a revolving door, and are often deluded enough to think despite treating you so poorly you have such little respect they can gain entrance. Time soon comes. The same people who merrily tear you down will be eager to talk to you, or curious about the intricacies of your life. I've learnt with age that when people are hostile to you.....dramatically, and it is unprovoked, they are often hostile with an agenda. The more he ridiculed and belittled me with those around him to support his envy and that of others, i reminded myself that i wasn't a revolving door. We make a choice, to treat others with respect, and to ask the right qestions when we sense there is something amiss. Love yourself no matter what, you are worthy of the utmost respect. You are worthy of love, friendship, companionship, and most of all people who don't specialise in trying to use you as a platform to gain negative kudos.If they respected themselves they wouldn't have to stoop so low.

Monday, 16 September 2013

Love as a shield







Image by Karincoma

Love yourself, arm yourself with an over abundance of self love, admiration, celebrate your successes, because you deserve it. You deserve to laugh, smile, joke, be happy, confident, boisterous, charismatic, but most of all appreciated. In life we meet all sorts, and sadly we meet those who try and tear us down. If it means standing in front of a mirror for hours filling your head with positive affirmations, compulsively celebrating the things you can accomplish, plan to accomplish, believe that you are unstoppable, in your attempts at self growth healing, and confidence. We arm ourselves with self love so those who try and pull us down can fail terribly.

Sunday, 15 September 2013

Healing through hurt: Forgive yourself


image by refined

Sometimes we like the idea of someone more than the person themselves, when reality comes to us the pain doesn't just sting, we look at a self we once trusted and ask it a string of suspicious questions. Our subconscious becomes the FBI. Why did you really think this was a good person? Why did you really invest that time trying to get to know them? Why did you try and make such an effort for them? Why didn't you see all the holes and gaps? How could you not clock that you were in the midst of quick Sand? My answer, because were only Human. People often display their best selves, everybody wants to be the Fairytale and not the Horror Story. A Serial killer would never walk up to you and say "Hi my name's Bob, i'm a Taurus, i'm also a serial killer," people often conceal the dark parts of their identity, because we like to be liked. People like to be liked. If you made a bad judgement call, invested poorly in someone, thought they were someone they were not, forgive yourself today. It's not just them you have to forgive it's you, because we punish ourselves for the crimes we allow others to commit to us.

Wednesday, 11 September 2013

Living life






image by perrygallagher


Life is for living. Celebrate it, embrace it, take risks, and glide freely through it. You live once in this life. If you dont take risks you will regret them, let regret be someone else's shadow, you are free to be happy and free to joyfully exist. You have one life celebrate it.

Sunday, 11 August 2013

Fantastic article by Irenosen Okojie




You say Bongo Bongo. I say bigot

Godfrey Bloom's remark canot be dismissed as eccentric or 'rogue'. It's racism, pure and simple
 

The Observer,
 
godfrey bloom
Godfrey Bloom: his remarks were unacceptable. Photograph: Matt Cetti-Roberts/LNP/Rex
It is quite odd, I think, that there has even been a debate about whether Ukip MEP Godfrey Bloom's comments about "Bongo Bongo Land" – when talking about Britain's foreign aid budget – were racist. Some sly defenders have noted that he's a "rogue politician" and there have been "what an eccentric!" chuckles. Bloom himself has been utterly defiant.
Let's be clear. His comments were racist, offensive and disparaging. My initial reaction was incredulity. I thought I had inadvertently done the time warp and landed in 1920's Britain. Where is this Bongo Bongo Land? My guess is Africa or another foreign land, where Bloom no doubt imagines grasping, dark-skinned people gutting Britain of its riches, complete with hands outstretched, hollow-eyed stares and flies around their mouths. But look on the bright side, eh, Godfrey? At least they may be able to get their hands on some Ray-Bans with all that British money.
It has been an astonishing trajectory for Bloom so far. First the revelation of the video of his speech; then a series of high-profile interviews, including one with Channel 4's Krishnan Guru-Murthy in which he stormed off. And now his latest, ridiculous defence that Bongo Bongo Land refers to a white antelope. It is so awful it borders on comical. Britain's thriving, immigrant communities have existed for many years. How do the likes of Bloom expect people connected with Africa and Asia to feel following his insulting, dismissive comments?
That'll be people like me, Godfrey. I was born in Nigeria; I've grown up in Britain. I have a British passport and navigate the dual identity of being both Nigerian and British, both foreign and familiar. It angers me and reminds me that no matter how settled I feel in this country, there are those quick to use otherness as a trump card and dismiss countries in Africa, where people like my parents are from, in derogatory terms. The sad thing is, Bloom was so bold because there is an audience for that kind of rhetoric. It's an old trick: in a difficult economic climate, blame the foreigners. With so much talk of Britain being tougher on immigration, I'm not surprised this happened.
Ukip, the supposedly non-racist political party with the odd member who spouts, um, "controversial" views, has seen a rise in popularity. Having grown up in diverse London, it's easy to forget that parts of our country aren't entirely happy about multi-cultural Britain.
Now we have Tory MP Jacob Rees-Mogg's dinner date with the Traditional Britain Group, an ultra-rightwing society that wants Doreen Lawrence deported. A spokesman for the group reacted to her recent admittance to the House of Lords by claiming she's "a person without any merit whatsoever". Doreen Lawrence has tirelessly campaigned for justice and equality. She's a fantastic role model and a credit to this country.
When I hear these comments made by Bloom and the Traditional Britain Group, it's like taking a wrong turn somewhere and stumbling on to something you really don't want to see. Bloom is still feigning confusion about his comments. "I'm 63, that's the sort of phraseology we used years ago." Buck up, Godfrey, you sound like an entitled, deluded bigot.

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