broken in between

 Wanted

I didn't want to die this way, but I was disappearing like the ice in a snow storm." You'll feel better after this," the lady at the shelter popped two white pills in my hand. " don't worry baby, it's not poison," I raised my hand in defence. " words that sting," I muttered leaning against the wall, feet curled in a yoga position. " he beat you bad this time," she was black cocoa skinned, deep set brown eyes and curvy figure, she lowered herself to the bed. " I'm taking it to the mattresses this time," shoving battered hands through stringy brown hair. Every time he beat me, or he threw words like a javelin, I'd put on the godfather. A film became an episode. Daddy used to love watching it,when I hit sixteen I did too. I realised the world could be such an angry place, that you could be inside the frame and not know what the hell was going on. Jeffrey would be pacing, angrily, wine bottle in his hand, champagne glass the everything he had, I'd make sure he had nothing. He was my Shaw shank redemption~this prison I would escape from one way or another.  My fingers trembled I downed a cup of hot tea, allowing it to pierce my throat set it aflame.my stomach curled anxiously,I wiped a tear from my eye, fixed my brown hair tighter. There were bags from lack of sleep and one purple lid was.lowered shut. I.had such pretty eyes he'd tell me, now that was the first thing he went for. My home was raw with imaginary false alarms thatbwentboff in my head, each time we shared a verse, and each time family called his words dripped with disdain. I hated him, but I hated me more for being taken in. I wanted him gone, but how do you kill someone....whose already dead.