Invited to audition For Miss Great Britain England and Miss Great Britain Africa Founder of the Lunchbox Millionaire Company #HecticEpileptic
Sunday, 21 September 2014
Dogtooth
I handed Atlanta the note it was clean and crisp starched as a T-shirt. she bit her lips as she surveyed it. " you wrote him a note and ever since he's had people calling you a whore and a slut, messing with your mind, knowing full well you suffered with depression before." she scanned it again her steel blue eyes electric with a dormant anger. " you don't know what it took for me to write this?"
" What d'you mean?" I paused anxiously waiting for the other students to pass as we stood isolated on the bridge. " I suffer from my own Social anxiety, its this disorder I can't put my finger on it but around new people it makes me scared, I can cover it most days, laugh with a smile, pretend like I'm actually part of what's going on." I gulped long and hard wishing there was water nearby, wishing I could delve in it. watching the dots of people go past. " I took a risk and it wasn't just a big deal for me, I'm not some kid with a crush, or something like that, I think I was lonely, and I thought he was genyine." Atlanta scanned the note once more her mouth twisting with a quiet rage. " since then I've been ridiculed, he's tried to get me to commit suicide, his mum and sisters have tried to ostracise me from the whole neighbourhood," we watched mrs meadows glide by, the only teacher who seemed to consistently contradict her name, her face held a look of permanent stress, as though lines were tattooed to her skin.
" Shea this note isn't vindictive in anyway shape or form."
" when he sees me talking to other guys or hears me, her goes absolutely crazy like he thinks I belong to him,"
" isn't this the same guy that's spent the past three years telling people your ugly, you smell, your a monkey?"
" Yeah but what's so great about this is he's a true coward, he never confronts me, when I faced him he denied everything. Every single thing he was doing." She smiled soothingly, placed a relaxed hand on my shoulder and wetted her dry mouth. Lanta was very similar to me in looks and height, that's how people often confused us, that's how we became so tight. " you see this?" She held it up her amber eyes glinting with pride, I liked the waves in her hair, the curls suited her,against the map of prolific features and a toffee complexion, she was someone you remembered. She opened her mouth to laugh, a deep throaty laugh, warm like brandy. " That's weird why are you doing that?"
" Because what he did was cruel and weak and no man that's actually respects himself behaves like that," she paused, skimming down it. " This line I hope you have a good year?Didn't this guy try and convince your family you were crazy?"
I nodded feeling the anger submerging again. " frame this, what you did was something to be proud of. my mum believes in Karma, real Karma, she says people like this by the time life has pissed and shat all over them, they learn to appreciate the little things."
" That's kryptic."
" Twin," she began," I ain't gonna tell you that one day you'll be rich and famous, or you'll be one of those girls who marries a millionaire," she paused temporarily searching for something in her whitewashed gap jeans, her frame was thicker than mine this year. " it s a dog tooth. My mum says it has something interesting about it."
"From a real dog?"
" No, to mums it represents Karma. One day you'll be where you need to be, and Karma will chew him up and fuck him up so bad, he'll remember the simple act of kindness you did. He took pride in doing that shit to you?"
" He told all my business got more people around him and tried to position himself as some president. He told me people would gangrape me." She laughed louder and harder, a cackle that made heads rivet up, " he told people personal affairs about my family tried to have us ostracised."
" I'm laughing because he wanted to steal something from you, but he doesn't have the skill or the emotional intellect to take it. he's one of those idiots that was never Mr macho at School, he has nothing. His family have nothing all the external is outside stuff." I watched as she read each word each sentence aloud, suddenly we had peeked eardrums and a small audience had gathered. Lanta's followers. She was one of the most well liked girls in the neighbourhood, it wasn't that she was popular in the TV sitcom way pretty girl with a lot of guys hanging on her arm.
" This guy is weak, he tried to punish you, for all the other women who had hurt him," she lifted the note higher looked down at the audience of girls that had suddenly gathered around us, " you see this here, I want this shit photocopied, every school in the borough ,"
" what the hell are you doing?"
" I'm the chair at this years senior dance, what you wrote will be on every flyer, every ticket, and every banner, Izzy?" We glanced over at a pink haired lanky teenage girl with gold fish blue eyes. " you can do some artsy shit right?"
The girl nodded as though she were a vice president. " It will be coded, we won't put your name on it nothing. Karma needs to know about this motherfucker."
I clenched my fist the memory of such a cruel betrayal filling my stomache with disgust. Making it flip like a pancake, and my limbs shake like jelly. " my mums said real men stopped treating women like this a while ago."
" let me hit you," she wrapped a lean hand around my frame the way a confidante would. We weren't best friends or anything, but Lantz Angela Moon was someone you could talk to. A sister with no blood tie. " Take his power away, don't keep it silent. You're protecting him. He doesn't deserve it, he's weak this fuckups been Molly cuddled his whole life that's why you became the emotional punching bag, all the things that were broken and damaged in his life, unfixables, the messes," Israel jumped in people rarely did when Lantz moon was talking, yet I'd noticed a strange affinity between the two. You rarely saw them together but when you did it was like they spent all year together. most of Lanta's click were named after countries or continents, well travelled, well looked after girls. Mostly in the summer. " So my mum used to work for this campaign manager, one night alone in the office, guy pulls out his wand and rapes her." Our small army went completely silent, but then that was Israel Thompson she'd drop really meaningful shit on you, and spit it completely numb. " for years she felt humiliated, degraded, when she went to the police the guy made it look like she was the one who was lying, attention seeking he called it,"
" what happened?"
" After he got away with it, he tried again on an intern, this bitch was black and knew some sort of fighting technique," our circle had gathered closer. " Nobody knows what the fuck she did, but this guy likes to commit crimes and press charges."
" More," Lanta egged her eyes lit with as much enthusiasm as the rest of us. " He never walked again, and he never had children, there wasn't even a scratch on him." ' Lantz grinned flashing the gap between her teeth, EDA Croft had her own story, and so did Leanne Boone. " when they fuck you, they fuck themselves." Lantz giggled it was almost whimsical. " Karma's a bitch. My mums having a dinner party ask her....ask her about the dogtooth."
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