Schooling through Pain

Use your pain , disappointment, anger , trauma, to fuel your passion. No matter what do not allow yourself to be swallowed up in otherpeoples excuses and your own, because its easy to be caught up in the mesh. In the chaos of i could have been, i could have done, i could have seen. Fail and learn from those failures. Get active on the strategies and implement them, do not let the sun set on another day without a fight for the future you want. Remember it is not about money anymore, it becomes more than that. It becomes more tha  just a fight for cash and display, you are no dreamer, these castles you will not build them in the sky, they have a foundation, therefore you must fight. It is easy to give into the negativity, cruelty and malice of others, it is easy for self destruction to overwhelm you. Yet i am someone who battled with finishing my whole life, partly because of ill health, partly because i accepted the excuses that were made for me. Let us fight to finish together, to reach the end of that finish line, because in the end when the chapters close you always had time, time to fight for you, though your thoughts and emotions were caught in the tidal wave of situation, a dystopian mess of hopes, and at times faith felt more like punishment, anger being the only prescription. Believe that you have the fight to see it through, so when you turn the blurb on a finished book you know beginning middle and end. There will be more challenges to come, steel yourself we were not put on this Earth not to be schooled.

Time and the investment

Each day is an investment in the future. Do not be tricked by others with a mindset locked in the stone ages, people whose dreams are buried in sand, and whose tongues leak acid. You are here on Earth , you have time to invest and change your future. Something amused me recently a young man who had far more opportunities than I had, access, no disability, was convinced because I'd built a network, I owed him an opportunity. Life doesn't owe you shit. I used to walk around thinking that life was fair, if you were nice others had to be nice if you were kind others had to be kind. I spent my whole life over compensating until people pleasing hurt too much. I was investing far too much time in pleasing others than I was in pleasing myself, each time I Made bold attempts at kindness, the trauma from the cruelty and disappointment of others left a sour taste in my mouth. Yet I was forgetting to celebrate those who had been there, those who had fought side by side with me, family friends, old school contacts in a quest to be that illusion of happy I thought I needed to be. Happiness with the numbers. I realised soon enough it wasn't about quantity it was about quality, quality of character, yet most of all quality of myself. These big dreams and goals I had, how much was I willing to invest my time, and assert myself in the journey of becoming? Would I allow myself to become sculpted by pain, or would I hack at myself, contorting all inner truths. Each day is an investment in your future, how will you spend your time, how will you pick your winning circle? Will you spend a life with a bunch of wasters whose existence is all about tearing down the dreams of others, feigning strength, will you try and fit in desperately, forever the coward, determined to be another statistic, or will you fight?

Pieces of my puzzle

Many heroes and heroines of any success story will tell you they have failed at many points in their trial, wept tears, had their hearts sink to the bottom of their shoes because life felt so impossible. The dream remained fiction, illusion, story, and no matter how much they sweated,bled, and wept pain, nothing seemed to come to life. Success seems at times to be a postcard from another universe, and each time you hear the dialogue of others chorusing about their glory, you are filled with a stone in your throat. Take heart, my father always said the vision may tarry but it will surely come to pass. Have a checkpoint, let that checkpoint give you hope when everything else is falling to shit. Faith,belief,and where I failed many a time was consistency. No one has the right to tell you it is impossible when men walk on moons, when rockets leave Earth, when millionaires are made in new continents every minute due to insight, understanding, knowledge and development. I find myself frustrated so many times, in contempt of a reflection I once adored, searching for a self I once remembered. I lost fragments of myself in this thirst to win, yet I continue to press on because I am morphed to this new shadow.Glued to this spirit, who is both woman,child and girl. There are pieces of my puzzle missing and yet, I hold unto this, a little hope a little light, enjoy the process, and remember how beautiful it is to loose yourself in the work. Enjoy the journey.

What is Success?

Fight to believe in what you can do when the whole world is tearing you down. Hello folks redebony here, i sat a challenge for myself an objective and i am yet to accomplish it, the dream is over, it is now time to do the work. Yet in doing the work, we find ourselves inconsistent, frustrated, warn down by others ego and insecurity. This journey is not about them, this journey is about you, and it will take as long as it takes. In the mean time protect your mental health, fill your mind with positive influences, fail over and over and over again, and laugh at your own misdemeanors. To accomplish your goal you must be the best of yourself and at times the worst of yourself. You will face so many selves in that busy looking glass, an angry reflection besotted with a need to champion other peoples illusions of success. Dont let a mouse teach you how to be a human, dontlet other people feel you with their grand illusions. When i set out to accomplish many of my challenges there was the nagging voice of the Village idiot trying to pester me, trying to make me feel small because thats how he felt, "who are you, " he said to try and become a millionaire? Years later i realised its not about wealth, its about finding your zen that emotional abundant place where you are truly happy and there is no pretend. Where your happiness is like an advert to the world, a magnet drawing and seducing everybody in. I am still on a path toards abundance and enlightenment, yet i will post an idiot out there to all the village idiots who mask themselves behind small words. "Who are we to try?" Who were you to try to walk , to try to talk , to try to cycle, to try to dance? We learn new things bygoing on a journey, by being people who dare, and who dare has the audacity to try and regulate us, not having walked in our shoes and seen with our eyes. There isa fiction out there which i began to discover, success the illusion of Shiny car, large Grandiose home, yes we aspire to greatness, yet when success creates such a vacume that there are people out there who seem to the world to have everything, yet take their own lives. What is success? And as a woman, as a black woman or an ethnic woman, no one should try and regulate our dreams goals and objectives. If im not worthy enough to attempt success, what the hell makes you think you are. Fight to believe in what you can do when the whole world is tearing you down.