REDEBONY'S BOOK BOUTIQUE

For a while i was convinced that someone's dodgy behaviour was a reflection of a strange attraction. I've met someone like this before and it meant something different. I can be both insecure and egotistical. Nothing says i hate you, like a big giant I HATE YOU!!  Oh yeah and actions that show...I HATE YOU.I take a gracious bow privately, and commence giving the genuine, confident, warm (?) or one in particular, the chance to show I LOVE YOU. LET THE RIGHT ONE IN....

It's really easy to hate someone. To judge them on sight without actually listening to them, without actually hearing what they had to say. When i was in university i was extremely smitten with this one guy. He had skin as deep as charcoal, and a baritone to his voice like a plunge. I remember waiting anxiously just to hear him speak, it was like food for me. Yet when he came within an inch of me, i acted as if i completely loathed him. I was exceedingly popular at the time, and couldn't get over why this beautiful guy would not speak. My friend and i would watch him fidget with his phone nervously, hoping he would relax, because to be quite shallow, if ever there was a masterpiece i thought it was him. Some couple had got together and produced their own van gough. women like myself and my friend would sit there speculating for two years we called him, 'Mr Quiet.' There were nicknames for most of the guys we liked. We'd make effort to interact with him, but no go, h

I LOOOOOOVE ME TODAY I LOVE ME FOREVER NO MATTER THE WEEK NO MATTER THE WEATHER IM FREE FROM THE POISON FREE FROM THE HATE WAIT..... I FUCKING LOVE ME MAN!!! CHIN CHIN, ALL THE HATERS AND NEGATIVE PEOPLE, HERE'S A SMILE FOR YOUR POCKET THOSE WHO WIN BATTLES, BUT LOOSE WARS, IVE SEEN YOUR REFLECTIONS B4 WAIT..... I AM FREE.... I FUCKING LOVE ME MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHN!!!!!!!! RED THERE ARE PEOPLE IN LIFE WHO ACT BADLY BUT EXPECT THE BEST RESPONSE, PEOPLE WHO WANT RESPECT BUT CAN'T GIVE IT.....THEY WAIT FOR YOU TO BE FRAGILE AS GLASS, THEN WHEN YOUR VULNERABLE THEY TEAR YOU TO PIECES...... TEAR YOU TO SHREDS, LOVE YOU TO PIECES

"I need you to be broken, so you can love me." It's such a weird statement. My sister just showed me this film, Mr lonely, it really moved me.The main character a Michael Jackson impersonator moved to this Euthopia full of other impersonators. It's about how he settled into that community, and learned the importance of being himself. There are many strands to this film, but this is key for me, there was a character who kept hurting the woman he was with just so she could need him. People like this are questionable, and sap the life out of others. When she'd lost all semblance of confidence and esteem because she couldn't exist  for him, rather than for herself, she committed suicide and he was distraught. I once met someone who showed an initial interest in me, but i acted too confident despite my vulnerabilities. Panic attacks, emotional vulnerable moments, despite liking me, the more intelligent i showed myself to be the more he would dramatically alienate m

I met someone recently who spent our whole conversation shitting all over everybody's life. I knew things about people who weren't even there to defend themselves, maybe it hurt because i had never recognised this side to that person. I guess i was shielded by my own self glorification and gratitude that there are people out there who think how i think, have similar beliefs that i do, are passionate about the same things i believe in. The world seems kind of plastic sometimes. Maybe this person was feeling vulnerable, or in deep pain, but listening to them prick holes in other people's lives, putting themself on such a glorified pedastal, i felt uncomfortable as if i was a balloon and they would prick a hole through me. It wasn't simply the fact they were putting other people down, they were putting down other people's life styles and the choices they made. A choice can be a scary thing. Sometimes we know our choices will cause Earth quakes or move us out of golden

I met captain sexy up for a hangout yesterday. You know your starting to like someone when he says something and you keep thinking, 'oh what a mighty fine mouth you have.' Despite the hand holding, the flirting, and all that body language stuff, i don't think he's into me. He likes me more as someone to hang out with, so there it is. Wow i didn't think i'd care if he wasn't attracted to me but i kind of do...a bit. We joked a lot, flirted a lot, he seems like such a fun guy to be around, and he's got those sexy bambino eyes, but i have to put my brain in friend mode. In relationship mode even the slightest pin prick can sometimes send me into a minimum of 10 over indulgent psycho analytical questions. He said "You're cool" that for me is like a k.O tekken tournament bitch kick by jin kazama himself. Although i realise i have a rotten habbit of being around a guy i like and trying to convince him it's time to leave. Some guy

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When my nephew was younger he could speak primarily french. He had this statement he used to make 'wow regarde.' Which basically means, wow...look! Pure Luck is one of those hillarious movies you go off after a few years, watch again, and go 'wow regarde'. I usually watch it after a breakup, a rejection, or something too traumatic to talk about. Starring the comic Martin Short, and Danny Glover, pure luck is sheer brilliance. When the rich Mr Highsmith's daughter, infamous for her bad luck goes missing in mexico, Danny Glover a well respected P.I is put on the case and assigned a sidekick. Martin Short a walking disaster area, said king of calamities joins him on their hillarious adventure to find the missing woman and answer the question....is there such a thing as bad luck? Personally i'm too stubborn minded. I believe we make our own luck in life, carve our own paths. You can drag yourself through it, stumble blindly, or glide with reverence. I'm a stumb

I realise now, after months of analysing wether my crush was secretly smitten wih me,  i'm calling it quits and packing up the stakeout equip. I've flung the towel in, held my hands up, i will not be crucified by a crush. My brain feels like a boiled egg over heated in a microwave, my common sense has completely flatlined. The bitch is back, packing some serious heat!! For a while i thought my crush suffered from (PPTS) Pulling Pigtails Syndrome. It's when your crush (moderately hot), literally terrorises you, rather than simply expressing his feelings.  It shouldn't be that hard. This guy was arithmetic to me, one minute he cant bare to be around me, next he's touching my shoulders and the small of my back, flirting! How about that? He's flirting. Someone's on serious acid. Mean em and Keen em, would be fab, if there was all the time in the world. Time ticks on, the arithmetic becomes boring, and the fish in the sea are quite plentiful. Pulling Pig tails Sy

Sad as it might seem, the whole vampire fiasco is not way over my head. I enjoy the cheese as much as the next emotionally starved romantic. Yep, who would have thought, me, adult in tone and fashion sense, okay not so much fashion, has become one of the zombies. As if Buffy wasn't a treat, there's now Twilight, Vampire diaries, True Blood, jesus it never ends!! As a writer though, my present joy is Amanda Hockings originally 'self published' vampire novels.  Ha! and they said it couldn't be done. Not only are Amanda's Trylle trilogies, making waves over the internet, Amanda Hocking has made a fortune from 'self publishing, and is on her way...to make some more. Instead of being overthrown by rejection after rejection Amanda decided to dig her heels in and have a Kanye West "you can't tell me nothing" moment, and a Mr T " I pity the fool" genius of a career strop. Over 450,000 copies of Amanda's books have been sold as ebooks, pl

The time is nigh. It is literally a sin for you to quit right now. You may not be almost there, or you may be vacationing on an Island right next to it, simply put...You just have to keep going. Persistence as an ideology, a song you crow to your friends when your life hasn't evolved to what it needs to be, or maybe it sounds deep and engaging to that guy, the one who smiles too hard and stands too close. We ask ourselves, can we quit now? We've tried so hard, dealt with an avenue of excuses, now it's time to take a different road. As a writer and a photographer i've learnt it's not easy. In fact it's mucky, frustrating, exhausting, but if you think you can clear out the weeds,  roll up our sleeves.

As a writer there's a greed to commission perfect things. An ambition like insanity. Produce that perfect piece, obsessively sell that product, two finally immaculately manicured fingers at the world. This was making me alienate myself. At one point i thought you could crunch out words like accounting numbers. Zeuslike in my own warped ideals of roboticism. I think i've swallowed my fathers need, and vulnerability to glorify himself. Writing, real writing is like ripping out your heart and folding it on paper. I watched Danielle Steele's autobiography, i've been through so much American idol i was expecting everyone to have a sob story like a Mecca. It's strange that hearing she started off rich, loaded as a shotgun, had me feeling...strangely despondent. Although reading that some of her characters were Danielle Lurking in between the pages, i can chew that. I wanted to hear how she dealt with 'page syndrome', 'writers block' other's call it, w

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