Real strength takes time to develop. It’s not about the lone figure posing against the darkness, or the person with the biggest mouth chanting about their successes in an attempt to alienate your accomplishments. Real strength is a private thing, a private experience. It’s about building core self belief no matter how traumatic the episode. Its tough watching parts of your identity disappear into quick sand. It’s certainly not easy for the ones that love you.
Furthermore it’s a nightmare for you, standing around waiting for an old reflection. Self esteem, and strength is a ladder you climb, one step at a time. People may not feel the change; they may not get the courage it takes for you to stand there with even a half smile in your pocket. Some may be annoyed and convinced you’re dragging your feet. You know you’re fighting even if the world can’t see. It’s like challenging someone invisible to a dual, and the stakes are incredibly high... The stakes are you. I always found it hard when I’d work and work at building myself up, an old vulnerability would rear its head and the people around me would fixate on that. Convinced I was making no progress at all. Progress doesn’t come over night, vulnerability is not a weakness, it’s a challenge, it’s an opportunity to be a testament. Words can be thick and slow, the action disappearing under a veil of illusion. Here’s the thing though. When it’s hard to be strong for yourself, it’s hard to put the performance on for everybody else in your life. To convince them that you’re still the same person they liked, the same character they joked with, played gin rummy with, went sailing or even played football with. Healing no matter the situation is like a scar. Sometimes it appears long gone. Then you trip in some way or you bump into something, the wound is raw and begins to bleed.
Some people pick at their scars eager to know what lies underneath. Beneath the porse and blood. When your soul is damaged, or you’ve experienced some sort of life jolt, people usually tell you things like love yourself, or snap out of it, even stop being a victim. We all want to be strong. The gloss in the magazine, true life story turned action hero. Here’s the reality, were not always going to get it spot on. Those who are watching, you’re not always going to look at your family member/ friend/ work colleague and ‘say Jesus dude I respect the way your crumbling man. All this crying and stuff, your an icon.’ As hard as it is to do. Celebrate their baby steps; eat up their word to action. It should be ice cream to you, or a snack that gives you that sense of contentment. They’re on their way. The end of the road starts with one step, a journey, a process. It could take a few weeks, a month, and a year. Nobody’s asking you to worship their self pity. Just understand that different people feel pain in different ways. Pain itself is a composition of layers. What someone is hurting with, weeping over can seem absolutely miniscule to you, but it could be the incident that made the wire snap. This person could have experienced a history of discontent, rejection, loss? Maybe they had failed at numerous things in the past. Here’s the thing, nobody’s asking you to be a saviour. It’s impossible to deny how taxing someone’s melt down moments are, the spin it puts on a potentially blissful situation. Adventures that end with tissues, and the repetitive intense cross analysing. Sing about the moments they do achieve something that can get them back to state. A glow in the dark, a snapshot and a reminder. “This is you, you’ve been a little lost amigo, but you’re on your way back. “ The hope will set the wheels into motion. A little hope, a little light.
Where do I start? Start with this. Success is a process. Instant gratification 99 percent of the time is a fiction. The easy answer is passion, determination, faith, belief. Success takes action and completion. There should be no dream without the hunger to activate it. Talk isn’t cheap. It’s expensive. Many people, and I’ve definitely been one of them, rant about a vision that will change their lives in the near future. Something that will translate them from a base level dreamer, to someone the world looks up to. When I first ventured into writing I would talk for hours about the books I would finish, the story line, the characters, all the intricacies of a Hollywood movie plot. Time and again, there would be blank pages, novels gone uncompleted, long winded excuses. Until one day I’d lost so much self confidence in myself, I was terrified to even pick up a pen. Nervous to bring up any ambitions I had, for fear that even dreaming them could bring failure. After writing I felt I needed to make money and boost my self esteem, so I went into photography. “Photography will be a challenge, I’ll make a fortune and I’ll have fun.” INCORRECT. I managed to accomplish finding a potential investor for my business, a partner to provide me with free vintage clothing wear for upcoming photo shoots, a marketing campaign which acquired the customer details of over 300 potential clients. Have you heard the statement if you fail to plan you plan to fail. I had not completed my business plan outline; I had no official website, no administration team, and no regular studio. I had lost more money than I could have dreamed of. After two years of struggling with an up and down business. I finally decided to return to my passion, writing. After years of procrastination, I achieved a feat so incredible even I was dumbfounded. With focus and motivation, I completed my first fiction novel in four weeks. That pride gave me the confidence to start editing, and begin outline sketches for the rest of my stories. Ideas are fantastical things. Where would we be if Alexander Bell, Martin Luther King, and Anthony Robbins all the great leaders of our time simply had an ‘idea’ to become. We’d be living in a world full of holes and half finished jigsaws.