Wednesday, 1 May 2013

The jealous jinx: When jealousy is getting in the way of your friendship





image by hetherz


First you must understand which I never did. This isn't about you as a person. This is about what she/he feels they are missing, qualities they feel they lack within themselves. People who are not at your level will try to desperately claw at you, and bring you down to their lower level. Jealousy is about insecurity. It is about low self esteem. If someone is being cruel, malicious, and you haven't done anything to them, then it is all about envy. You cannot take that envy from them. It is an inferiority about what they feel is absent. You need to build up what is present within you, so you can raise your game to the highest level. A jealous person needs to see you in the pits because that's where they are. The more miserable you are, the happier they will feel. The less you achieve the less of a threat you'll be, and you will be less competition.

focus on your abilities and what you can do. Build yourself up, smile. The more they try and tear you down, the harder you need to focus on building yourself up. If their envious because they lack confidence and your outgoing, bubbly, sociable and have many friends, don't give into their envy. Continue to build those social skills. Laugh, smile, invite, new, and more people to you, you are clearly inviting, continue to be warm. If your attractive, continue to take pride in who you are, your appearance, your style, your beauty, your stunning looks, if it attracts the opposite sex 'go you' you are attractive that's not a crime. Celebrate who you are. Jealous people are terrified of you shining, don't just shine, beam, go on full blast, be epic, because you have something to be in awe of. Yet don't be ego maniacal, build up those around you advise them on confidence classes, tips, cool things, they can do to also build themselves up.  Yet if you find yourself associated to people who don't want to grow, who want to continue to stay in a negative pattern, and drag you down.....you need to either emotionally detach or socially detach. Bring yourself to your highest level of excellence.

Notice key things

Noticing a friend who never seems to be happy for you,  they want what you have but they dislike you for having it.

They try and secretly alienate other people from you, by spreading gossip or telling half truths because their jealous and envious.

Be who you are. One of the many mistakes I made with jealous friends was not acknowledging my qualities and let my confidence get battered, before from being, loud, bubbly, outgoing, fun, smiley, I let a completely jealous insecure person  encourage me to become more introverted because it made them feel better about themselves. I was aware they were discontent and completely miserable

Be who you are
Don't get manipulated

What do you perceive to be the real reason's behind the jealousy?
What are the actual reasons behind the jealousy?
Communication is key, if you can't communicate, then create distance. There are certain types of people that you may love key qualities about them so if you can talk to them, tell them how you feel, tell them how it's affecting you, if their negative behaviour persists, begin to spend more time with people who wont turn everything into a competition.

If you care about them and you know it's a friendship worth working on and you understand their just going through a tough time, be supportive, but do not be a slave to someone else's inferiority complex. You have your own life, and that will always need your attention.