Wednesday, 1 May 2013
The Breakup and the Breakdown: How to get over those break up blues
Just for the heads up I guarantee you will get over your ex. You will be happy, laughing, smiling, flirting, but it will take time. You may find old insecurities reappearing, Comparing yourself to every beautiful super model/ video girl, or pretty street poser, wondering if they would stay with them.
Cry a lot at first . It's allowed, they were part of your life and now their gone....just like that. Some people beg, turn into stalkers and track their exes every move, ward off potential girlfriends , tell tales to work colleagues. Your allowed to cry about it, and not feel weak. Your purging, relieving all the emotional distress and letting it filter out in a pool of tissues.
Moan A lot, it's allowed. Yes sir/ ma am your heart broken. It hurts. You will get through it. It sucks right now, but time and distraction are two incredible healers. You will question your decision, especially on those lonely nights, or when you've listened to your other girlfriends talk about their relationships. Remember you broke up for a reason. The fact that it brought your relationship to a standstill means it was a solid tangible reason. If you broke up for issues of trust, separation is the right choice. Respect yourself and work towards building your self confidence, whilst your taking that much needed time for independence.
When we get down we focus on what we did wrong, obsessing about our mistakes and all the bad choices we made, and all the things that put us in a bad light. Yet what if the universe had a bigger plan. What if this ex partner, fine as they were, fun as they were, charismatic as they could be sometimes were just not the right person for you?...In the long run.
Put on some music. Positive, fun, and funky music, stimulates the mind and gets the chakra's pulsating with energy. It gets you all excited and get's your juices going.
Go out with some friends, and socialise.Get flirty I know you feel like sinking into that delicious pit of self pity right now. But the more positive energy you have around you, the better...Raise your vibration levels. It feels good to feel attractive again. Get glammed up, strut and smile, your worth it.
Get fit, and get active. Self pity is a great safety net but it wont do the trick for those dumpy emotions. You will think about your ex often. Miss them, wonder if their out with another date, but you need to get focussed, and you need to get busy. It's not about them, it's about you, you need to get back into the frame of mind where you enjoy your self in your own skin, and you love being in your own company. Breakups bring out all our depressed moods and all the insecurities that lurk beneath our pain.
Get a hobby, or focus on an old one that was positive, and made you feel both excited and exhilarated. Finding an activity to focus on rather than what you
Ice cream is fine, but going wreckage on junk food will make you twice as miserable, less likely to pull and be happier within your own skin.
Everybody bitches and rants about their ex but curb your curse control, your an icon, and a big fish you have more important things to talk about. If the people around you are obsessively trying to bring up your ex as a hot topic or point of convo, either be polite...when you've hit your 'rant limit' try and sound like a well wisher and not a hater. Or if it's too much, just be firm and say' to be honest their my past and I've been taught to drive by looking at the road ahead. " Or " I'd much rather talk about something more significant."
R.E.M were write. To be honest, everybody hurts. What people don't tell you about the breakup often is that bo8th parties are hurting, the person who leaves and the one who gets left. There is a familiarity with relationships, a companionship, and a partnership, that we get used to. Do you think you miss your best friend when you go on holiday? Yes you do. You have so much to tell them, because you can confide in them. There are things a man or a woman can tell their boyfriend or partner that they don't even tell their friends or family, because it's a different kind of bond. It's a bond that will be missed.
If you were cheated on, or your partner had to break things off because the relationship became too intense there was too much pressure, they will still miss you , but you need to focus on moving forward without being angry and bitter. Get a punching bag if you have to box, do some exercise and fitness classes
Go shopping for cool quirky and exciting things, save up to go on holiday, or go on regular walks, adventures, jaunts, and explore.
Visualise yourself looking stunning, happy and made over if you were to ever bump into him again. You are gorgeous, do not forget your assets.
Read something inspirational or motivational, try and get that excitement you had for living and that joy you had for life again. Remember they were your ex for a reason.