Tuesday, 5 March 2013
Top ways to spot real attraction:Acting out real attraction
Attraction is the cinnamon on the pancake. It is not the whole pancake. Attraction is not respect, it's not loyalty, it is not companionship. Growing up and hitting the dating scene I used to frustratedly analyse with friends or family even, why a guy who seemed so attracted to me would either back off, or standby whilst other people criticised or attempted to ridicule me. I remember saying to friends over and over again, "just the way he looks at me, I can tell he's really into me," what I was doing was projecting my own romantic ideals and sensibilities on guys who did basic things like stare at me, or ask for my details, and seek out information about me. Things as surface and plastic as attraction, will loose you a lot when you place a bet on the wrong character. Let people show you who they are.One of my biggest mistakes was assuming certain things about people based on little habbits they carried out. For example, if someone would look at the floor or act nervous and anxious id assume that they were shy and afraid , therefore the saviour complex would kick in. Sometimes its not other people we need to save. We need to save ourselves. The whole attraction does he like me doesn't he? I'd say, let people put in the work. If someone is genuinely attracted to you let them actively show you that they are.
Attraction rule number 1: When someone is for real, they will defend you. So many times women go after guys who seem to be mr interested and then they are introduced to the guys friendship circle and the other people in his world, hello trouble. Attraction is more than the guy who doesn't speak up. I once knew someone who tolerated a guy that called her ugly and went as far as refusing to be seen in public with her, despite her being a very attractive girl. For some reason, he was embarassed by her.
Attraction rule 2: The guy who doesn't respect women in general yet somehow seems to 'respect' you? Deluded much? If you find yourself around a guy who has the audacity to call any woman, a slut, a whore , consistently puts them down and tries to make them feel inferior.....PROBLEM!!!!! About things like the way their dressed, walk or talk......well as soon as you fall out with a guy like that....those things that he said about her are exactly what he'll say about you.
Attraction rule 3: The guy who always seems interested when he just wants sex. Baaaad idea. Not cool, not on. A guy shouldn't be interested in you because he's after something,he should be interested in talking to you, spending time with you, getting to know you.
Attraction rule 4: The guy who never calls. No, a real no no.
Attraction rule 5: The guy who never pays for anything. Yet is somehow always available for meals,get togethers,things that cost money
Attraction rule 6: The guy who can never afford to buy you a gift but seems to always have the newest and most expensive gadgets.....Selfish much?
My argument is simple.attraction is nice. That magnet or sudden pull of curiosity, that ripple of appeal. Yet, you want the person to put the work in. It's great when you get noticed but a guy needs to do more than notice you. He needs to show he cares.